Am I transgender or is this OCD?

Hello. I am sorry that you are having a rough time. I would get a team up--a psychologist and possibly some doctors who deal with transgender issues. The first thing to do would be to see if you are truly transgender and if you are, then to decide upon the journey that would take you into being female.

IF however, you wanted to stay male, then perhaps the way of orientation that you are heading towards might be the appropriate step. If this step seems odd to you or if you feel like a *newbie* then I would also seek therapy for that situation.

IT sounds like your entire world is a bit chaotic. You might have to work on what is there, what is possible and then eke out or create your life based upon some some deeply researched information, careful choices and from there, making goals and objectives that fit the choices that you make.



Good luck.

I told my psychologist about this yesterday and she still thinks it's ocd, she said i need to try and find a way to stop obsessing about this and research this on the web, which obviously is not what i'm doing at the moment, lol. But I will, I just wanted to ask a question...

IF however, you wanted to stay male, then perhaps the way of orientation that you are heading towards might be the appropriate step

Yes, I do want to stay male, but i don't understand what you mean by this..

Your story has never been so close to how I am feeling.

I've always known i was gay since I was around 6 but have only recently come to terms with it and can actually say i am gay.

I've suffered with OCD for quite a while since my early teens, but have never seen a doctor or anything about it. I also have diabetes, and anxiety disorder and depression, yes lucky me.
Until a year ago I have never had too much of an anxiety disorder where I felt something needed to be done. Until it got so bad I was put on antidepressants. I feel these worked for about 6 months then they started to make me feel funny. I was then put on another antidepressant and that didn't help to much so was taken off it. I was then left for 6 weeks to deal with a very rough depression patch, as with all my mental and physical health problems the doctors were going to consult about what would be the best option. I've recently been put on prozac about 4 weeks ago and in the last 5 days it has completely messed with my head.

5 days ago I was the funny gay guy with lots of girl friends, and that was me ive never questioned it, even when I got mistaken for a girl when I was younger it would make me feel very uncomfortable.
I have a transgender friend and am not scared or anything by transgender people. I admire they're courage and strength. But recently I read an article about a transgender person, and then was watching a program about transgender people. And all of a sudden something happened in my mind where I thought I was transgender, and I can't stop obsessing over the thought of what if I am? What would I do? And it make me very anxious thinking about it to the point I've been having panic attacks and can't sleep. I've always been fairly feminine but have never felt like I'm in the wrong body and not to be crude but like having a penis as it made me different from all my girlfriends.

Things keep spiking these obsessions in my mind and I can't shake them off. I've even spoken to my family it's been bothering me that much. I don't want to be a girl and don't want to be transgender, and its distressing me so much that I keep relating my past experiences to my thoughts now and thinking was that because I'm transgender? But I know deep down the reason I'm a bit more girly is because I'm gay, but I'm by no means a girl.

I too have a a curvier figure and have never been pleased with my figured but never once thought I would look better as a woman.

I feel like I've lost my mind as these obsessions just keep coming back and I don't know what to do. I feel the antidepressant has had this effect in me as not only is this happening but my depression has increased drastically to the point where I'm crying everyday.

If anyone has read all of this thank you so much.

Yeah I'm not an expert, but as someone who considers themselves to have a strong female component... I think y'all have answered your own questions. You don't want a be a girl. You're not transgender, at least not in the sense this thread is about. If you don't want to cut it off, or grow boobs, that seems to answer it to me. Sounds to this nut like you're just OCD'ing over it and letting it stress you. Not to trivialise what you're feeling, but.... I mean, if I take an online brain gender test, or some variant of the COGIATI, or... now I think this one's really neat. If you Google for it (gender guesser, gender genie) there's applets that guess your sex based on your writing style. I'm just as likely to come out female as male. But not enough to seriously consider changing. Would not have bothered me one bit if the X sperm had hit the egg first in my momma. But I'm not for redoing the plumbing, so it's pointless to fret over it, y'know? Okay, boobs would be really cool, but they'd just look wrong on me. See? Not enough there in my head to actually do anything about it. Despite the fact that a long time ago I went through periods where I really, really wished I'd been born a girl. Which again... is not the same as thinking I have to change my body as it is, or I'm going to explode or something. The two are not the same. I think maybe you're confusing being more feminine than the 'norm'/social convention for actually thinking you have to be female. I could be wrong and YMMV but I think y'all are way, way overstressing this. I mean the part where you think you may actually need to MTF transition.

all_energy_no_mean wrote:I'm a 20 years old gay male and a little over a month ago I started worrying that I'm transgender after thinking that I can't love another person and that must be the reason why. It really freaks me out because I don't want to be a transgender or to transition and take hormones, but I feel like I'm just trapped and that I won't ever be happy unless I won't, and I really don't want that.. I never even thought about this until now, I never wanted to be seen as a female, never been bothered by male pronouns or my name, never wanted breasts, don't have body dysphoria, don't hate my genitals, do like that I'm over 6 feet tall, always liked when people said I look/act like my older brother.. but I'm still incredibly worried that I am transgender.. There's this fear that I'll want to be a woman later on in life or that the more I'll obsess over it the more I'll want to change, even though I don't right now.

My latest fear is that the reason I don't hate my body is because I have a somewhat hourglass body shape, in that I have wide(r) hips (than usual for guys) and also am a bit chubby so have some man boobs going as well and it just scares me that this tricked my brain into thinking I'm a woman.. I always remember wanting to look like the hot guys do, but now I'm scared that I'll start hating my body if I do.

Also, another reason I'm scared I might be transgender is that I denied being gay at first as well.. I knew I was since I was 13 or 14, but I never accepted it until February or March, although this only feels like denial sometimes...

Could I be transgender even if I don't want to be one? People keep saying that some people only realize it later in life, am I one of those people? And also, could I 'become' transgender now? Cause sometimes it feels like that... like I'll just worry and overanalyze everything until I'll start believing I'm transgender as well... I don't have anything against them or anything, I just don't want to be one myself. But like I said, I feel like I can't escape it and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be transgender and I don't want to want to be one.

I should also mention that this is the last in a series of freak-outs and bouts of obsessive worries that started in late December/early January... I've worried like this about going to Hell (it may have been even worse at times), about not actually being gay, about being asexual and now about being transgender.

Sorry about being all over the place and/or if I'm being disrespectful or anything...

Hey, did you ever manage to treat this?

Hi folks! I think I'm having the exact same problem... How are you now?