I think I have OCD.

I'm going to take what was written in this forum as the sticky, and explaine why I think I have it and why I'm not sure.

This is what was written:

Here are the symptoms of ocd

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
SYMPTOMS
Either obsessions or compulsions: <<<I have obsessions, a lot of them, but I am not sure about the compulsions.>>>
Obsessions as defined by (1), (2), (3), and (4):

recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress <<<I think about death alot, and play sinerios of what would happen if I died, or a person I cared about died. I also have arguements with people in my head a lot, but that probally has a lot to do with how I don't respond to arguments as they happen. I chicken out and don't say anything and just let the person badjure me but that's another story.>>>

the thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems <<<I'm not *exaclty* sure what this means, but when I say, think about me dying and what would happen, it's like, "A plane could come out of the sky right now, land on my roof and smash me right here and now. And no one would find me until moring. A semi could come through the window right now and smash me against the wall. It could cut my legs off." I am not parinoid about it, I just think about it the same way someone "normal" might think "I bet Johnny's home right now. I should give him a call. He might be eating though." Does this count? I could have this, I'm not sure, but it would be better if someone would explaine this to me.>>>

the person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action <<<This I don't do. Or, at least, I don't think I do.>>>

the person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind (not imposed from without as in thought insertion)<<<Again, I'm not *quite* sure what this means, but I know that no one else put these thoughts in my head. It's all me. If that means what the above means, then I guess I have this part.>>>
Compulsions as defined by (1) and (2):


repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly
<<<I clean the house all the time. I don't have a REASON for doing it: like obessessed with germs or anything, but I do clean the house repediatley. Every day. I take everything out of a room, vaccume, dust, clean the things off that I took out of the room and put them in the clean room, then I clean the dirty room that I just took the things out of. If I don't do this, I can't stop thinking about how I did it "wrong" and I have to go do it right.>>>

the behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive <<<No, I would say I don't have a reason for it...or at least I can't think of any.>>>
--- And: ---

At some point during course of the disorder, the person has recognized that the obsessions or compulsions are excessive or unreasonable. <<<I realize that it is not nessicary to clean the way I do, or to count the articles of clothing as I was them, or that I don't *have* to have six cans stacked next to eachother. But if it's not that way I can't stop thinking about it.>>>

Note: This does not apply to children.

The obsessions or compulsions cause marked distress, are time consuming (take more than 1 hour a day), or significantly interfere with the person's normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or usual social activities or relationships.
<<<It takes me all day to do what I do. If I don't do it, I would say that yes, it does cause marked distress, and as far as significantly interffering with my normal routine, I would say this IS my normal rutienne. I don't have a job now but when I was working I would not get any sleep. I have no social relationship, but my personal relationship with my guy aren't effected because when he is home, everything is done. He works third shift, and I do it while he's sleeping and when he is at work.>>>

If another disorder is present, the content of the obsessions or compulsions is not restricted to it. <<<I dunno what this means.>>>


The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition. <<<I had a problem with drugs a while back, but I've been clean for a couple of years, so I don't immagine that it has anything to do with it. The other things do not apply.>>>


There are other things that I do, for example if it is not blatenly obvious; alothough I can't spell, I am anial about details. I have this thing where if I'm explaining something I can't just shut up. I don't know if that does anything with OCD or if I'm just weird.

Some of the specific things I do is:

My cleaning thing I mentioned above.
I have to have a hair tye on my wrist even if I have one on my hair. I have to have two all the time incase one breaks and I need to pull my hair up.
I think about people I love dying all the time. And it's not a worry, it's just a senario. Like I'm planing how to react. It bothers me sometimes that I think about it. I'll cry about it later, because I can't immagine them gone, but while it's going on, I just kinda think about it as a third person.
I count...all the time.
I am a super clean freak.
If something is not "right" I can't deal with it.
I actually will curl up into a ball and reduce myself into a childlike state because I really just DO NOT WANT TO CLEAN sometimes and I feel like it's destroying my life but then I yell at myself because I'm lazy and to just grow up and get it done. Then I cry even more because I know how much this is consuming me and I can't stop.
There's more I've been told about but I can't think of any. I am very tired right now.

I know there is something wrong with me. I know I'm not normal. I think I could have OCD, or Multiple Personality Disorder. I was checked out by a Psychiatrist when I was little, but I moved and never went back. I plan to go when I get a car and can drive myself because I dont want anyone in my RL to know.

Anyway, oppinnions are wanted here.

Please be nice to me.

I also forgot two important things.

I think this is part of OCD but I'm not sure if it's because of that or because I was beat suvearly as a child. I have what some would say is a very unhealthy sexual life. I am not permiscuous, but I am into BDSM.

Another thing: I check to make sure the stove is off, the water is off, the electric heater is off, my cat is breathing, the door is locked, the thermastat is set to a good temperature, that there's nobody else in the house but me.

Also, I have to have the room I'm in's light on, and the light on in the next room, so that when I leave this room, the next room's light will be on. Like, say the rooms are ABCDEFG, exct, I will have A and B on, go to C turn it on, come back to A to turn it off, then go to D and turn it on, turn B off, exct. It sucks when I am cleaning at night because I run from room to room. This I can control sometimes by just saying eff it and leaving all the lights on in the house.

I don't know if that has anything to do with it also.


Another thing: sometimes I have what I've heard refered to as "triggers". The same things that trigger my cutting triggers me now (since I don't cut anymore) into a child like state. I'm really pittiful and disgusted with myself when I get that way because I can't function. This seems to make the things I do worse.

I lie on the bathroom floor to break down. I'll cry else where, but if I feel like I'm going to loose control, I calmly walk into the bathroom and lie with my face on the floor and ball. It doesn't matter whose house or where I am, but the bathroom floor is where I do it.

Does it sound like I have OCD? Or does it sound like I have something else? If so, what would it be? I guess you could say that I'm obsessed about being crazy, which is driving me nuts. I almost want? to be crazy so that there could be an explination for all of this.

I'm parinoid about it.

I've been told before by different people when I was younger, that I could have Anxiety Disorder, Post Tramatuc Stress Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, Mild Schitzophreia, (spelling), and Boarderline Personality Disorder.

I study this alot. I've bought text books and did my own research but I'm not sure exaclty. I know only a professional could diagonose me but I would like oppnions.

My oppinnion is that OCD, MPD and BPD seem the most likely. I am the same way as I was when I was a child. NOthing's changed; it's just gotten worse.

I analyze things way to much. Everyhting, all the time. I got into a fight with someone this morning because they showed me a song and said it reminded them of me and I got offended because it said "You wear me out". I took it literally like everything in the song they were showing me was handpicked and everything in it was about me.

I'm so sorry....I know I'm doing it again. I just keep right on typing. I just...uh, I'm going to stop now. If someone could please tell me what they think? This is rediculous, I have to get up in two hours......

My b/f was diagnosed with OCD. The psychiatrist conducted a test-series of indepth questions. I am sure you can find it online. But what you do does sound like OCD. From my experience I can tell you that OCD hurt not only you but also people who love you. So, car or no car, see psychaiatrist ASAP

I'd second Elena here. If this is causing you so many problems you need to get proper help and support.

sorry to hear what your going through it sounds real bad i would definatly go see a phychiatrist they are the only peoeple who can diagnose you it sounds to me like you have ocd i have it just the thought one i dont have the cleaning one my boyfriend wishes i had lol i know its not a laughing matter but if you dont laugh you will cry keep me posted on how you get on take care