OCD - Intrusive Thoughts, Thinking

Hi, my name is John, this is my first post on here. I would appreciate some advice because I am really distressed. I have been dealing with OCD from my teenage years, I'm 22 now. When I was a teenager I was obsessed about things happening to my family members and would perform compulsions as a result. My obsessions and fears would change over time as I seemed to not have the same fears as I did in my early teens. I feel like I began to go through a period of compulsions for the sake of compulsions without any distinct fear guiding them. I just did them because it felt "right," but they did not have any connection to a specific fear. It was almost as if the compulsions became a habit that I did without thinking about them. The compulsions were just as strong however. Anyway, this form of OCD I began to cope with until my first years in college.
In college, I began the intrusive thought form of OCD. This would happen sporadically and I was usually able to get over them within a few days. The intrusive thoughts dealt around me doing harm to family members, I never fully went a long with my thoughts and so mine never became highly detailed thoughts as I see some people have. All the same, it was still a thought I knew was there and I would try and fight it. I learned the strategy of separating the thoughts from who I am and that helped me over time to cope with them. I could go months where the thought would come into my head, but I never saw it as a big deal until my next bout of obsessive thinking.
Last year, I had a really bad bout of the intrusive thought and could not seem to get rid of my constant thinking about it. What was different this time is that I seemed to get over the thought a bit, but I walked around somewhat in a trance knowing that there is a thought in my head. I didn't react to it, but that still didn't help, it was like my mind was perpetually conscious of a thought there. So I was able to carry out normal functions and I never became anxious but my mind seemed to be on overdrive thinking about what was going on in front of me while simultaneously thinking to itself. Anyway, somehow a day came when I got over this and I got through the Summer and Fall feeling good, although I still did the compulsions just because they felt "right."
Come last week, I had a similar bout of the intrusive thoughts which I know came on because of a compulsion I did not do. My mind told me to do something and I did not do it. As I mentioned, this would sometimes happen during my good days, and for some reason I was able to get over it. This time, I kept repeating the violent thought over in my head and I told my self alright it will probably get better by tomorrow. When I woke up the next day, it only seemed to get worse as I repeated the thought in my head the whole day. At first I reacted with anxiety, but then I used the strategy of separation and although that reduced anxiety I still felt that there was something there just like last year. My obsession went from the intrusive thought, to obsessing about obsessing if that makes any sense. I have been stuck in this stage ever since and do not know how to get out of it. I told my family as it really worried me this time. I feel like I am in my own world, I can talk and interact with others, but its like I keep talking to myself in my mind at the same time, like the thought that told me to do compulsion has come to narirrate everything that I am doing. It's like I have my brain that does everyday tasks and the brain that is watching over everything. So it's like I'm constantly analyzing and aware of each and every situation I'm in. I also find that when talking to someone mind is playing tricks and is constantly talking to me and I'm obsessed with my awareness. Sometimes I tell myself contradictory things while I'm talking to someone. I feel like this situation is very different from typical intrusive thoughts as it is mostly just my minding thinking, thinking, thinking. There are times when I get anxious about it, but I have been able to stop being anxious about it, but it never goes away. I feel like I lost all control and nothing I do will help it. Has anybody else experienced the same thing here? I called a psychologist and I am gonna make an appointment, but in the meantime any advice would be very helpful.