Is this HOCD? Help!!

I am 19 and scared i might be turning out gay, i went through a really stressfull weak of thinking i had hiv and after that week theses thoughts started happening, i have never been with a guy or anything and my whole life i have liked girls, even been hurt by them and been heartbroken and $#%^ but never liked a guy or anything and when a guy trys to touche my dick or something i instantly push him away .. but i have had gay thoughts over the years and masturbated to gay porn and $#%^ because it gets me off quicker than straight porn and i dont know why.. even right now i think i have a crush on a girl but these gay thoughts are messing with my head man, has anyone been in this situation before? i am not homophobic but i dont want to be gay at all, im stressing out like ###$ here

Anyone man?!?! going out my head here?

Hi!

To sum up your post:
You like girls. You've been with girls and got heartbroken with them. You dislike the thought that guys touch you. You have a crush on a girl but you experience intrusive gay thoughts. Finally, you don't want to be gay.

If you were gay, you would like to be gay! The only problem with being gay would be fear of losing your friends and/or fear that your family wouldn't accept you.

You are not gay. It's pretty obvious.

Everyone can have dirty fantasies. Fantasies about being with the same sex are more common in girls I believe, lots of straight girls I've known have fantasies about having sex with a girl, or can watch (and enjoy) gay porn without being gay. The fact that you are watching gay porn may have something to do with getting turned on by something dirty and forbidden, I don't know. It's not uncommon.

However, if you want those thoughts to stop bothering you, I would consider not masturbating to gay porn, it's not dangerous but it will just fuel your doubts, so don't do that until you are less confused.

You don't want to be gay = you're not gay. Relax and enjoy your life as a straight man.

afraidofdiseases wrote:Hi!

To sum up your post:
You like girls. You've been with girls and got heartbroken with them. You dislike the thought that guys touch you. You have a crush on a girl but you experience intrusive gay thoughts. Finally, you don't want to be gay.

If you were gay, you would like to be gay! The only problem with being gay would be fear of losing your friends and/or fear that your family wouldn't accept you.

You are not gay. It's pretty obvious.

Everyone can have dirty fantasies. Fantasies about being with the same sex are more common in girls I believe, lots of straight girls I've known have fantasies about having sex with a girl, or can watch (and enjoy) gay porn without being gay. The fact that you are watching gay porn may have something to do with getting turned on by something dirty and forbidden, I don't know. It's not uncommon.

However, if you want those thoughts to stop bothering you, I would consider not masturbating to gay porn, it's not dangerous but it will just fuel your doubts, so don't do that until you are less confused.

You don't want to be gay = you're not gay. Relax and enjoy your life as a straight man.

Thanks so much for your reply, i think my mind is vulnerable after thinking i had hiv for a while so these gay thoughts started to take over and sort of try to change me and it made my anxiety shoot up, thanks alot for you reply though my mind is at ease