Comparing Notes

Been hanging out with the new BF of my ex who i assumed was NPD and lets just say it made her uneasy. She often questions him as to why were suddenly hanging out a lot and grills him for hours
afterward. He says she acts really paranoid now and tells him I'm only there to sabotage the relationship and trying to win her back (couldn't be further from the truth).

Well i noticed early on in my relationship when i was working with her ex she would grill me about whatever he was saying about HER and explained he will twist things around to make himself out to be the victim and make her look like the bad guy. Does a Narc commonly fear people people from their past from running into each other and comparing notes, or am i reading to much into this

I don't think anyone wants people sitting around comparing notes about them.

I suppose a narc may fear this if they completely made up who they are for one or both parties involved, and that the comparisons the two may make will bring that to light.

Otherwise, I'd think it's a very normal response by someone. She's asking you both questions to see if you're talking about her, which you obviously are. Also, you have the potential to cause problems in their relationship if you start talking about what sex with her was like, romantic things she did, etc. Her new BF may be all ears and seem as if he's fine with it, but in his head he's comparing his current relationship with your past relationship, and if things don't seem to be what he wants, or he feels based on your comments she cared more for you than she does for him, he could change, thereby changing their relationship.

When she started this relationship with him, I doubt she envisioned you being a part of it. She clearly doesn't like it.

Thanx for replying for the record we have never discussed sex 1.out of respect 2.i'm not a kiss and tell kinda guy. The current BF and i knew each other before since we were both guitarists in the same town and all things considered he's a decent guy. But i have to admit that would be a little weird for me if all of a sudden my gf was hanging with my ex. I'd be wondering why they were buddy buddy and not tearing each other limb from limb.