BPD?

Why is it that they say borderlines are naturally attracted to us? Or vice versa?

I have NPD and have had one relationship with a woman I know FOR A FACT has BPD. I believe that it is the intense push/pull that is like an addictive cycle. I devalue and the borderline is afraid of abandonment. When I began to devalue my borderline partner, she launched over-the-top dramatics to win me back; this served as the ultimate narcissistic supply. When she became too anxious or unstable and had to push me away, I saw it as all my fault, she saw it as all my fault, and subsequently winning her back served as even more narcissistic supply. The relationship followed this pattern -- I devalue, she wins me back, she wants space, I win her back -- for five years. Keep in mind I always had several other girlfriends at the same time that only added to the tumultuous nature of these romantic circumstances. It was very hectic. I am glad I am self-aware and know that I never have to repeat that kind of interpersonal hell ever again.

Superficial wrote:I have NPD and have had one relationship with a woman I know FOR A FACT has BPD. I believe that it is the intense push/pull that is like an addictive cycle. I devalue and the borderline is afraid of abandonment. When I began to devalue my borderline partner, she launched over-the-top dramatics to win me back; this served as the ultimate narcissistic supply. When she became too anxious or unstable and had to push me away, I saw it as all my fault, she saw it as all my fault, and subsequently winning her back served as even more narcissistic supply. The relationship followed this pattern -- I devalue, she wins me back, she wants space, I win her back -- for five years. Keep in mind I always had several other girlfriends at the same time that only added to the tumultuous nature of these romantic circumstances. It was very hectic. I am glad I am self-aware and know that I never have to repeat that kind of interpersonal hell ever again.

Davaule as in tease her by busting on her which pushes her a away? I do that and ive realized women in general come back for more. Ive had 2 BPDs fall for me. One of which even dyed her hair and painted her nails just so I would like her. She tried to punish me but I was to smart for her, because I am unmanipulatable.

This is a good article on this very subject:
http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html

This is a quote from that:

Both Borderlines and Narcissists associate Love with painful longing. This is the crux of all those come here/go away (push/pull) cycles with this couple, and a whole lotta country western songs! Love equals pain, and vice-versa.

When their intense craving for love is met, painful sensations they've come to interpret as loving feelings, evaporate. At this point, the Borderline feels bored or annoyed, and pushes away. With healthy/whole partners who need continuity of loving feelings, the Borderline feels emotional claustrophobia, which compels her to disrupt episodes of authentic intimacy between them. The Narcissist responds to his need for distance and autonomy, by selecting unavailable BPD lovers who won't trigger his engulfment fears.

When closeness or engulfment fears become heightened, both NPD and BPD partners can experience anxiety, which prompts their need to draw back.

Maybe the BPD colorizes the NPDs world and the NPD brings peace to the BPD.

I would think in the beginning the NPD would be the stronger personality. At least temporarily.