justice vs mercy

I thought about this today and ive always valued justice higher than mercy. Take for instance when someone crosses me it takes a long time for them to get back in my good graces even if I allow them to. Do anyone of you all see the same traits in yourself or is it common to NPD?

I go with mercy, because I'd want it for myself. Not that I'm great at not reacting angrily, or trying to understand where the other person's coming from, but I'm not as bad as I used to be. In general terms, though, I've always gone with the mercy idea, because I could always identify to some extent with the bad guy, and I'd want forgiveness for myself.

When younger I was pro-mercy and that was partly conditioning from my malignantly narcissistic mother. According to her she never meant any harm, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth... (ha ha)... so I applied that to everyone. I thought no one could be evil, and everyone deserved another chance. When people did evil things, there must be some sort of horrible mistake, I thought. They didn't "mean" it. I was very beaten down.

Now I'm more pro-justice. If someone abducts and murders a child, the child's family deserve to know the offender has been removed, of course they do. I still have problems saying "the offender deserves all the pain they get" even though yes, many of them probably do. But I wouldn't have a problem with painless (or as painless as possible) euthanasia, no. Good riddance to them.

I don't believe in the death penalty or onerous jail terms for drug mules. It seems immoral and out of proportion to the crime. Society has a problem dealing with the drug trade and hasn't found a solution yet. In the meantime countries like Singapore hang young people for often rather minor trafficking. Disgusting and shameful.

Anais wrote:When younger I was pro-mercy and that was partly conditioning from my malignantly narcissistic mother. According to her she never meant any harm, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth... (ha ha)... so I applied that to everyone. I thought no one could be evil, and everyone deserved another chance. When people did evil things, there must be some sort of horrible mistake, I thought. They didn't "mean" it. I was very beaten down.

Now I'm more pro-justice. If someone abducts and murders a child, the child's family deserve to know the offender has been removed, of course they do. I still have problems saying "the offender deserves all the pain they get" even though yes, many of them probably do. But I wouldn't have a problem with painless (or as painless as possible) euthanasia, no. Good riddance to them.

I don't believe in the death penalty or onerous jail terms for drug mules. It seems immoral and out of proportion to the crime. Society has a problem dealing with the drug trade and hasn't found a solution yet. In the meantime countries like Singapore hang young people for often rather minor trafficking. Disgusting and shameful.

I agree in regards to law, but within a moral injustice I am slow to forgiveness. Thus, I rarely am forgiving. Take dating for instance, when I see a woman leave my side for a POS and later she comes back to me I find it unacceptable.

Maenad, couple of questions. What do you see yourself as offering to a girl? If she doesn't leave your side for a POS or commit any other offences, do you think you would be together with her long term? Or do you feel more like you expect 100% loyalty in exchange for just a short period of her knowing you, after which you will be moving on to other women regardless. Because I think it's the last part that people find hard to understand.

Anais wrote:Maenad, couple of questions. What do you see yourself as offering to a girl? If she doesn't leave your side for a POS or commit any other offences, do you think you would be together with her long term? Or do you feel more like you expect 100% loyalty in exchange for just a short period of her knowing you, after which you will be moving on to other women regardless. Because I think it's the last part that people find hard to understand.

Expect 100% loyalty. I come from a veary rich family, am physical attractive and one of the funniest people you ever meet when I'm not depressed. I say this because I used to use my quick wit to gain NPD supply.

Maenad wrote:

Anais wrote:Expect 100% loyalty. I come from a veary rich family, am physical attractive and one of the funniest people you ever meet when I'm not depressed. I say this because I used to use my quick wit to gain NPD supply.

Agreed here. And thus why would you have to settle for anything less? When one has unlimited potentials, why put up for anything less than your absolute ideal with 100% complete and total loyalty?

People are not 'special'. If one has 99% loyalty and/other qualities, why put up with that lack of 1% I am missing? I will always be searching/seek and if I see a potential with 100% completeness, that individual with 99% loyalty and/other qualities will be a fleeting memory overnight.

While this may same inhumane (if not inhuman) to most Nons, we realize that we have one life to live. They say you cannot have your cake and eat it too? This must have been written by a non, as it holds no truth in my way of life.

"You dare threaten me with abandonment? I know this will hurt you, much more than it hurts me. I am able to abandon people within 24 hours and not think about them again. You will be the one coming back and asking me to give you a second chance.. so go ahead.. threaten me. See who comes out victorious."

uh huh.

Svenska, I think things run a little differently in the gay community... so my question would probably be a bit redundant there.

But Maenad, I mean more what do you have to offer a girl? In the way of what many girls want (loyalty, fidelity, monogamy, and so on). I know you think you're awesome, you have NPD, and your first post made that clear. I'm wondering more about what you see yourself as offering another. Most things you list are subjective in a way (I'd shy away from "comes from a rich family" for example because that can hide a lot of defects a girl might wanna know about).

If you found your perfect person, could you return their loyalty? That's more what I meant.

Anais wrote:uh huh.

Svenska, I think things run a little differently in the gay community... so my question would probably be a bit redundant there.

But Maenad, I mean more what do you have to offer a girl? In the way of what many girls want (loyalty, fidelity, monogamy, and so on). I know you think you're awesome, you have NPD, and your first post made that clear. I'm wondering more about what you see yourself as offering another. Most things you list are subjective in a way (I'd shy away from "comes from a rich family" for example because that can hide a lot of defects a girl might wanna know about).

If you found your perfect person, could you return their loyalty? That's more what I meant.

What I offer another is simple. I make stuff fun for other people. I refuse to to even associate myself with people whom I deam as filth. In an relationship, i'm a 100% loyal to my girl. If I am that loyal to her I expect no less than the same from her.

talking justice vs mercy in general wider society sense here to clarify not in relationships.

if other people piss me off i go in for justice lol. if i got caught doing something i wasnt supposed to do i would try to swing mercy

justice is only of any use assuming a. revenge is of use or b. its gonna change the person's behaviour to make it more acceptable to others. since i dont see any reasoning why that should work, technically what's worth more depends on the person who feels treated unjustly.

mercy is only of advantage if it a. allows the person slighted to feel they are merciful instead of being helpless to retaliate or b. again, changes the person's behaviour through feelings of acceptance and openness to recieving guidance, which in many cases also won't work.

so basically justice and mercy mean nothing and what is actually important is prevention protection and change, prevention and protection might require things that might seem harsh from the recieving end to the person who they are being forced on, and with human beings how they are, change would probably have to involve a certain amount of mercy.

If the end result people want is a peaceful society, neither justice nor mercy are important, prevention/protection and empathy are important.

from my own perspective? people should just have the right to get their own back if they want to. right to vendetta lol that way they can choose to be merciful or not if they want to. not saying its right, even in my opinion, otherwise i wouldn't be able to work out the above, just more a snapshot inside my own response to things lol. I'm not going to bother rationalising it if its not rational.