Mirrors, Facebook

Hello,

I am not an N or anything but I was hoping this board could provide some insight into these behaviors. I constantly look at myself in mirrors (or any type of reflective surface) and look at my facebook profile, pictures, etc., which is kind of like looking in a mirror also. Then I'll change my appearance or my facebook in small ways and look at it and get this weird sense of satisfaction from it. I don't know maybe it is just insecurity, but it is so unproductive and besides just trying to stop, I would like to hear anyone else's experiences/opinions with this sort of thing. Thanks.

Hi,

Yes, this is quite unproductive and could be related to various conditions. The first two that come to mind are actually Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) and Body Dysmorphia, but the latter is a long-shot. However, I can understand why you've decided to post on the Narcissistic PD forum.

Start by trying to look at yourself less frequently in the mirror. For example, if you look at yourself every morning for a prolonged amount of time, then tell yourself right now that tomorrow you are only going to take a brief glimpse at yourself. Once you are comfortable doing that, think of other moments where you look at yourself that you could either cut out or just look at yourself for a shorter amount of time.

I must ask you this: Where did all of this stem from, do you believe? In my own case, it stemmed from an entire youth of feeling like an ugly duckling. Then, when I actually realised that I was handsome, I stared at myself for long periods of time and seeked reassurances from people (mainly girls) that I looked good. This all lead to an entirely obsessive type of personality that I only in recnt years have come out of.

Kevin

Thank you for your response I will do that. And Yes I believe it stems from similar issues to yours; what was a process you came through to overcome it

shotgun pulse wrote:Hello,

I am not an N or anything but I was hoping this board could provide some insight into these behaviors. I constantly look at myself in mirrors (or any type of reflective surface) and look at my facebook profile, pictures, etc., which is kind of like looking in a mirror also. Then I'll change my appearance or my facebook in small ways and look at it and get this weird sense of satisfaction from it. I don't know maybe it is just insecurity, but it is so unproductive and besides just trying to stop, I would like to hear anyone else's experiences/opinions with this sort of thing. Thanks.

OMG!!!!! you just posted on one of my posts about being obsessed with myself, and you linked me to this thread and ive just read what you posted (what ive quoted ^^^) and i do that too! and this is the closest thing to what i do, that anyone else does, so far.......i mean, ive never found anyone that does anything remotely similar to me (my weird obsessions/compulsions) but this is quite similar. this is what psych forum is all about - finding people who have the same problems so can help each other and share experiences etc. :]

Chucky wrote:Hi,
I must ask you this: Where did all of this stem from, do you believe? In my own case, it stemmed from an entire youth of feeling like an ugly duckling. Then, when I actually realised that I was handsome, I stared at myself for long periods of time and seeked reassurances from people (mainly girls) that I looked good. This all lead to an entirely obsessive type of personality that I only in recnt years have come out of.

Kevin

I believe this is what started me off - only the past few years have i liked the way i looked, and been happy with it. ive always liked my figure - i think its my best asset, but my face isnt as good. (i know this sounds awfully shallow and aesthetic but its to do with my issues). when i was around 15, 16 all my peers made themselves look nice and everything, but i just didnt seem to bother like with my hair etc...i dont really know how to describe it....but only the past few years ive got to a point where i actually like my look....and now when i look in mirrors etc i actually like what i see and want to capture it. i never used to take pics of myself coz i looked bad.
i've actually got a few modelling auditions coming up but im the least photogenic person, i have horrible teeth, etc etc.....but that was coz i think my figure/torso part would be suitable for underwear modelling, but ive got some general auditions...and its embarrassing to tell people coz it sounds so stupid, like ''you?!??! model?!?!?!' type thing. well thats what i think theyd say.
im rambling and i cant help it. then theres the whole pictures of me wearing just underwear in public on my facebook which is now what im known for/ 1st thing people ask me about when i see them out etc.................so yeah, ive got loadsa diff issues, incl. very baaaaad OCD (cant stand it when people use the term in the wrong way, like 'oh im soo ocd about..' - shut the fk up you have no idea!!) but theres a whole other area - the whole image, who i am thing etc etc etc arghhhhhhhhh

How did it come about that you have modelling audtions? No-one has to have a 'model' look in order to be sexy and attractive. The 'model' look is just one particular way that people appeaar, but there are many others equally as attractive in their own way. Be aware that agencies are only too happy to take money from you too... I mean, for auditions.

Kevin

Why is this a problem?

I have a similar problem to this also, it becomes very bad when i am depressed especially . I can look at myself in the mirror for hours and hours, on and off. If I so much as twirl my hair a little bit, I am anxious to go see what i Look like because of this small change.
I wonder if this could be more OCD related than Narcissistic. I've known many Narcissists in my life and i know for a fact that when they looked in mirrors, it was to appreciate not fuss over themselves like me. I am always fussing. Some days I think I'm attractive (but not in an over the top way, in a modest way, which is the best I can believe), some days i think I'm not worth a second look. I never belieeve i'm truly ugly, but then i just feel like a waste of flesh most days.....I think its best I keep busy all the time. I hate it when i get obsessive like this, it consumes me totally.

Marsh maybe not a problem per se but I feel silly and waste time. Gertrude, I usually am "appreciating" myself (lol..) but sometimes it does go to the other extreme. Like I feel good if I'm wearing makeup but if not I'll feel ugly etc. When you feel attractive do you also stare or not so much?

I really can relate to all this! I just posted in here about cant stop looking in mirrors, but the problem is, i become very stressed if i cant capture the image (take a pic).
IF i like the way i look, that's worse for my OCD coz i can't stop looking and want to take pics. If i look bad, then i can just relax and forget about it!
mirrors and facebook - yup!