A small rant.

Please allow this almost completely recovered "normie" a small but much needed rant about something that really just occurred to me the other day. It may just help those recovering from a betrayal, might make some mad and then it might not mean a "rat's hairy a**" to anyone but I just gotta spill it. Thanks in advance for your indulgence.

Ahem.

My ex is a highly intelligent, extremely creative guy. He works as an IT security admin for a cluster of law firms. No dummy here. And yet the women he's been involved with have been of lower functioning minds (present company excluded.) His best friend and my long time friend (one in the same) made that startling comparison once during a conversation where I was lamenting over the covert disrespectful ways he was always passing off to me as his altered version of love and affection (I was not aware he was an N at the time.) I asked him why my ex was able to remain friends with some of his exes and he said that was because the women he chose probably didn't have the combined sense to come in from a "shower of s**t" and it probably never ever occurred to them that he is/was belittling them and treating them badly.

Coupled with his sharp mind, he's a really attractive guy and could easily date a higher class of woment but instead he hangs out at pool joints drinking Mellow-Yellow and looking down his nose at the drunken riff-raff slobbering and slurring their affirmations at him (this by his own admission is a fulfilling and entertaining event.) *shakes head*

Why is this? He has to date below himself for "supply?" His equals would never put up with his crap so it makes perfect sense.

I may not be the pick of the litter or the brightest bulb in the light fixture but he didn't picked up me in some sleezy bar during "Bike Night." As a matter of fact the same aforementioned friend introduced us by dragging him along on a visit to my house during one of their motorcycle play-dates. (I must remember to send something dead to my friend for this egregious act.) Anyway. I'm a graphic artist who has enjoyed a long and healthy career in a design business of my own making. My IQ is way higher than my shoe size and I don't have anything leather hanging in my clothes closet. Further evidenced by the fact that his family remarked after meeting me that I was a one-eighty turn from his former companions who he undoubtedly devalued and discarded like yesterday's news. I was fortunate enough to walk away before that happened to me. Whew!

The thought that had occurred to me is this, regardless of your IQ if you can recognize the abuse and walk away, you're pretty darn smart.

Present company included.

Why am I ranting, I guess for all of us "empaths" out there who give our hearts and minds innocently in the name of love. I'm ranting for you if you walked away from an abusive relationship and are feeling depleted and confused. I'm ranting because I like ranting, it's very helpful while trying to shed the cloak of despair that emotional sadist can hang on you, even long after they're deleted from your contacts list.

Well, I feel better. I think.

Edited for "less" clarity. Geesh.

This post is awesome.

I'm a successful graphic artist who has enjoyed a long and healthy career in a design business of my own making. My IQ is way higher than my shoe size and I don't have anything leather hanging in my clothes closet. Further evidenced by the fact that his family remarked after meeting me that I was a one-eighty turn from his former companions who he undoubtedly devalued and discarded like yesterday's news.

he's a freaking narcissist for pete's sake!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projection_(psychology)

his family remarked after meeting me that I was a one-eighty turn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_supply

I was fortunate enough to walk away before that happened to me. Whew!

Yeah, you're much better than his other "victims", right? And that's because you're much more intelligent than them, right? But no! Of course you're not prejudiced against "rednecks", just like somebody who says "n1gger" isn't prejudiced against blacks!

I'm not making distinctions between smart people and not so smart people

Yet you've been doing it all the time. If you weren't making distinctions, you wouldn't even categorize people like this to begin with, which you're OBVIOUSLY DOING ALL THE TIME. Not openly hating people you've categorized as "stupid" isn't enough to excuse your obvious bigotry.

Maybe you should reread. I did say it might make some mad. Um maybe you missed this part along with my point:

Coupled with his sharp mind, he's a really attractive guy and could easily date up but instead he hangs out at pool joints drinking Mellow-Yellow and looking down his nose at the drunken riff-raff slobbering and slurring their affirmations at him (this by his own admission is a fulfilling event.)

I never went out with the N I knew long enough to get into much idea about exes.

I suspect it was a mixture of attractive/hard to attain and on the other hand "totally whatevers available" (the latter discarded very quickly I got the impression).

However I did meet a few of his "pals". But they were more like street-people/drunk/mentally-challenged, etc, I found it embarrassing almost. It was very bizarre.

However, I did read somewhere that Narcs like to hang around with their "social inferiors".

I also read that Narcs can't dance, which was also my experience ...

Weird, it didn't make me mad.

woreslapout wrote:He works as an IT security admin

Lol, my last job was IT. Sorry, just makes me chuckle. Reminds me of one of the few SNL skits I find amusing, Your Company's Computer Guy.

woreslapout wrote:but instead he hangs out at pool joints drinking Mellow-Yellow and looking down his nose at the drunken riff-raff slobbering and slurring their affirmations at him (this by his own admission is a fulfilling and entertaining event.)

...actually, yeah, I'd find that pretty entertaining too, lol.

woreslapout wrote:Why is this? He has to date below himself for "supply?" His equals would never put up with his crap so it makes perfect sense.

Yeah? Hanging around stupid people means you get to always feel like the smartest one.

woreslapout wrote:The thought that had occurred to me is this, regardless of your IQ if you can recognize the abuse and walk away, you're pretty darn smart.

There's different types of "smart".

Here's a question - were you in a fairly long relationship with him? Longer than these other girls he's seeing? He might be one that does the somatic-switch phenomenon.

edited.

narcissist can’t dance

Please don’t be that stupid. ‘Mexicans can’t think’, ‘Scottish people can’t stop drinking’, Americans are stupid’.

Seriously? You cannot say ‘women are there for support only’. I do acknowledge that there are some cultural differences, but really?

NPD is a product of a neglectful childhood or a problem in the brain. Or a combination of both. The jury is still out.

I am the least prejudicial person you will find. I don’t care if people call me a ‘sweaty’ (sweaty sock = jock). I am not insulted by that.

Prejudice is about judging an entire group by a characteristic. I cannot compare my stbx with any of the self described NPD sufferers on this forum.

Think about it.

I read it somewhere, and it was my experience too in a particularly dramatic way, though i choose not to go into it. Does that make me stupid arrested, choose your words carefully.

The reason given was the issue of "control", that they cannot give up physical control and that does make some sense to me. Ns are big on control. Its not a criticism of anyone, so don't know why you have taken that angle.

If lots of Ns can dance I stand corrected.

No big deal, it was just an observation, no need to be rude.

Does that make me stupid arrested, choose your words carefully.

Read the words carefully. I did not call anyone stupid. I think the comments were 'stupid'.

My stbx had very dark brown eyes (excellent dancer btw). That does not mean that all NPD sufferers have dark brown eyes or all people with dark brown eyes are NPD.

Especially dancing. To be a good dancer you need, timing, athleticism and confidence. Mmmm.

woreslapout wrote:Coupled with his sharp mind, he's a really attractive guy and could easily date a higher class of woment but instead he hangs out at pool joints drinking Mellow-Yellow and looking down his nose at the drunken riff-raff slobbering and slurring their affirmations at him (this by his own admission is a fulfilling and entertaining event.) *shakes head*

i like him already!

woreslapout wrote:I may not be the pick of the litter or the brightest bulb in the light fixture...

does the litter picker know something of breeding, or the fixture have fewer than two bulbs?

woreslapout wrote:I'm ranting because I like ranting...

thats a good reason.