The 'Proud' Self-aware Narcissist?

I find it strange how some people seem think that psychopaths and sociopaths are 'cooler' than Narcs, and that many Narcissists wish to see themselves as psychopaths or in similar sense.

I know that this is because of the Narcissist's insecurity of themselves, and would much like to protect their inner vulnerability in claiming that they have no emotions and admire the psychopaths that have been glamourised in the media, thus making them 'cooler'.

I've yet to meet someone who is a self-aware Narcissist and proud of it, though I'm sure this forum will be full of them.

I think first you're proud.

Then you dig deeper and stop being proud.

Then you dig deeper still and go back to being proud.

Then you dig even deeper.........and stop defining yourself as either proud or not proud.



I don't know though. I'm not a narcissist.

However I imagine, most.......reside in steps 1 and 2.

I think I see where you're getting at.

Though if a narcissist is to truly understand what they are like- what is there to be proud of?

My theory is that even though narcissists are merely little children who've been abused and/or overly spoilt and that what's left of them is a shell craving for attention- they will try to fight it by defining themselves with a recognisable label so that they can feel easier to dump the blame of their actions on that.

However, narcissism is a very difficult disorder to 'cure', if it is even possible to cure it at all. So I think, in a way, it's a good thing that narcissists should feel proud for what they are as it would make their lives a little more easier. I believe people hate on narcissists too much, but even being a victim themselves, they should understand that it's not entirely the N's fault and that the N's can't control it. That is the general misunderstanding.

the N's can't control it.

Sure we can. Have you ever felt compelled to abuse somebody or done it against your will?

Of course there's always intention behind every action you do, but narcissists are less inhibited and most of their actions are impulsive. You can't completely blame them for that, it's how their mind works.

Harming people makes narcissists happy. So what if victims get hurt in the process, everyone wants to be happy.

AndyForAwesome wrote:narcissists are less inhibited and most of their actions are impulsive. You can't completely blame them for that, it's how their mind works.

I agree with this but I don't think they're less inhibited. Narcissists are just as in control as everyone else, it's just that their natural social impulses are different than most 'normal' people. Plus narcissists are less self-aware than other people because they have trouble seeing themselves realistically. They prefer their idealised image as opposed to the reality of themselves so I think they tend to act without taking into consideration a realistic view of how their actions are received.

AndyForAwesome wrote: Harming people makes narcissists happy. So what if victims get hurt in the process, everyone wants to be happy.

That's a pretty negative view of what NPD is, and it's not really correct. Narcissists don't like harming people they just like being admired and lack the empathy to care for other people's feelings. Doesn't mean they go around hurting people on purpose because it makes them happy. If they hurt people it's more due to the ignorance of their disorder than due to spite for that person, I think.

Also I don't know where you got this idea from that psychopaths/sociopaths are cooler than narcissists, that's pretty disturbing bro. I think being a healthy individual is much cooler than having a mental health disorder, but whatever I'd much rather be narcissistic than sociopathic though.

Oh, looks like I don't understand narcissism as much as I thought I did then.

Well, I know I'm a narcissist. I think. And I do believe narcissists hurt people for gratification. They must do, obviously. Why would I then, if they don't? And honestly I can't understand why you think narcissists are in control of themselves, a lot of their actions are based on extreme emotions like rage. What do you mean? I can't understand you.

And to answer your last question, I've seen enough proof on the ASPD forum of blatant narcissists trying to get attention in claiming that they are psychopathic/sociopathic, honest, it's real. I would go link some for you if you want, if I can be bothered. But if you really insist : ))))

Well, I know I'm a narcissist. I think.

hoho.

and why?

And I do believe narcissists hurt people for gratification.

Only malignant narcissists do that. All narcissists hurt people, but not because they want others to hurt. Others' emotions are absolutely insignificant to a narcissist.

They must do, obviously. Why would I then, if they don't?

Maybe you're not one?

And honestly I can't understand why you think narcissists are in control of themselves, a lot of their actions are based on extreme emotions like rage.

Because they are. The rage isn't harder to control than normie rage is.

I'm a narcissist because I'm very selfish? I enjoy manipulating people.

Or maybe I'm a 'malignant' narcissist then, but you don't seem to think so. What do you think I am then if you're so clever : )

AndyForAwesome wrote:Oh, looks like I don't understand narcissism as much as I thought I did then.

Well, I know I'm a narcissist. I think. And I do believe narcissists hurt people for gratification. They must do, obviously. Why would I then, if they don't? And honestly I can't understand why you think narcissists are in control of themselves, a lot of their actions are based on extreme emotions like rage. What do you mean? I can't understand you.

Only you can answer that question that you asked, no one else. Do you hurt people for gratification? Ask yourself why? Keep asking and keep digging deeper, see what you come up with, it may interest you. Try not to settle with the easiest answer as well, be honest with yourself, only you know the answers.

The definition of NPD doesn't include hurting people for gratification, it includes seeking admiration. What I thought you meant when you said people with NPD hurt others is that because they use other people for supply, they may end up hurting them by being unaware of their feelings. But that doesn't mean they actively seek to hurt others, just that they're misguided. That's just my interpretation of it.

But you raise a good point with the rage thing. I think they're more misguided than anything, they're still in control of themselves but their disordered emotions and personality dominates what they do in life. So rather than doing something productive that'll help others and themselves in the long run, they'll chase narcissistic supply (admiration from others) which is pretty shallow and short lived.
It's the same with most normal people, but they have a healthy sense of self. So they aren't as disturbed by emotions of anger and jealousy every time they see someone who's happy or every time someone criticises them. But they probably couldn't explain exactly why they do the things they do with 100% accuracy, they just do them and it makes them feel good, and because they're more attuned to reality they do things that are more meaningful than what the narcissist does. So they know that admiration from others is shallow and vain and doesn't bring lasting happiness, so they go for relationships that include love, support and nurturance.

And I can't understand myself either, that's why I'm here, I'm trying to understand more

And look who just turned up, unreal! hey brah

AndyForAwesome wrote:And to answer your last question, I've seen enough proof on the ASPD forum of blatant narcissists trying to get attention in claiming that they are psychopathic/sociopathic, honest, it's real. I would go link some for you if you want, if I can be bothered. But if you really insist : ))))

Ahahaha. Oh that explains it though. But I have no idea why they'd think being antisocial is cooler than being narcissistic, people think all sorts of strange things... psychopathy includes the element of narcissism anyway, so maybe they're just getting mixed up in what they think they are

AndyForAwesome wrote:I'm a narcissist because I'm very selfish? I enjoy manipulating people.

Or maybe I'm a 'malignant' narcissist then, but you don't seem to think so. What do you think I am then if you're so clever : )

I think you're a person, mate. Focus on being a better person first of all. The labels are helpful but they aren't magic, they're meant to be tools used by professionals to help people.
I'd suggest going to see your GP if you're worried and talking about seeing a shrink. I'd also suggest not hurting others. You may not care for them, but being friendly is in your own self interest anyway. Plus you should know, intellectually at least, that it's wrong.