It's a new topic.

To answer a question that someone asked me earlier, 'What is the difference between a normie and a non - I didn't realise there was one'; someone who refers to themself as a normie is missing the point entierely for a start. Anyone who would take that stance is taking it out of some kind of defence, which in itself is okay, but to fall into using it to refer to something that one can belong to suggests a problematic way of thinking built on defence .

The whole normie thing is very self-referential.

Many of the people who post on here as victims of n abuse and refer to themselves as normies are people who have emotional problems of their own and quite a few of them are still at a point in their lives where they're unable to recognise it. Recently Lena2 was a very good example of that. A lot of n's on here try to address this but aren't able to get this across successfully because it's being said as a comeback against feeling attacked or criticised. And so the gap gets wider and this whole mentality starts.

The fact is we are all in this together really. One thing unites us all, and thats post traumatic stress.

Personality disorders are post traumatic stress, as is depression, addiction, alcoholism, violence, prostitution, rape and child abuse. Trauma endured in childhood will guaruntee a life of compulsive behaviour of some sort. Compulsive behaviour is how we display our ptsd. Trauma endured later in life, such as being the victim of abuse in a relationship, be it physical or in the majority of cases on here, emotional, works slightly differently in that it doesn't really impact on your whole sense of self, but you still end up with pts anyway.

Most of the people who refer to themsleves as a non, are people who acknowlegde that they don't think they have a disorder, which is completely different to saying 'I'm normal you're not.'


By the way, does anybody not recognise how massive Euler's statement about his father is? Was I the only one moved by it?

It also perfectly demonstrates what I've been talking about.

Euler wrote:Anyways, my pops is a pastor...formerely an Orthodox priest.

Think about it...its a really good racket if you're a Narcissist and a priest. That jackass, whom I wish to dismember for eternity, told me that I was "set apart by God...that I was special"...Omininous words the F*er, fully realizing exactly how "special" I was....

to develop a f*ing Pd that made you relate to nonbody, made you hated, made it "your job" to relate to others'....

little wonder why I sincerely wish to destroy each last one ######6 one of you and me and start over.

Interesting post, NB.

I have not ever really claimed to be a "normie". I have been very up front that especially in my younger years, I had NPD/HPD traits and see them now as well, though the N/H is still part of me, I recognize it and usually makes me want to throw up. Now that I am getting old my personality is more of a DPD/masochistic type.

I would like to say I am the opposite of NPD but really, I am not. I have an inferiority complex, I never feel good enough for anyone or anything. I am quite pathetic as a matter of fact. I thought because I was so bad and made so many wrong decisions and choices in my life that I deserved this treatment from my N husband and since I chose this, I just had to endure it forever.

I know all of this is quite similar to narcissism. It is hidden self-love. Where NPD's project the false self that they love so much, my false self is more hidden and afraid to come out, but it is there. I am protecting and hiding it by not having the courage to fight for it, so I give up.

"Pride is an admission of weakness; it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals."
Fulton J. Sheen

narcbolan wrote:To answer a question that someone asked me earlier, 'What is the difference between a normie and a non - I didn't realise there was one'; behaviour is how we display our ptsd.

I agree, lots of people are disordered to some degree and quite a few have had traumatic and abusive childhoods (me included). The difference for me is empathy, it's so fundamental. If that's not there then we're on different sides of the fence.

Be careful not to take it out of context though, someone proclaiming to be a "normie" might internalize that as if they were saying "survivor". A non would most likely just state they are such and seperating themself in comparison to whom the subject is about, say, Narcissists. However, each is subjected to their own opinion obviously, but my take on it is that whatever you call yourself between a 'non' and 'normie' are concerned, it can go both ways as far as being a victim; it's just your comfort level of expressing yourself.

Pathogen wrote:my take on it is that whatever you call yourself between a 'non' and 'normie' are concerned, it can go both ways as far as being a victim; it's just your comfort level of expressing yourself.

The 'comfort level of expressing yourself' 'it can go both ways' ... Some people are truly victims of a tragic event or an evil person, you know (of course you know). So they should adjust their comfort level cos like that's what's it's all about?

What about the sub-human who ruined them? Did that affect their comfort level a little bit do you think. Responsibility lies with the abuser.

The "sub human" learns to hone his skills, as the victim learns to become stronger; or weaker depending on their mindset. The weaker will gradually die out, and the stronger will take on their life more stable. Think of my name for example pertaining to this conversation: Pathogen. In the body, the pathogens that fight the body's immune system is like Narcissist in today's world. In return, the victims white blood cells will fight off the attacker and in the mean time weakening the person's strength. In many cases, the infection has been killed or gone into remission. If the body is stable and strong enough, as time goes on, it will develop an immunity to the parasite until the parasite evolves and finds a new way to attach and kill the host. If you can see the correlation in that analogy between Narcissism and the victims, it is really no different than the very parasites that attack your body to feed and survive, even if it makes you sick and weak. It's up to the victim to move on and become stronger, or die off and give up. The parasite has a mission which is to survive, and will stop at nothing to do just that.

Narcs are a walking defensive strategy, not a truly engaged human being. Sorry if this seems offensive but that's the reality. In my experience there is definitely something real and human underneath the fake contrived persona, but is constantly repressed by the deluded False Self.

The non-aware narcs are forgivable to an extent, but those with the capacity to understand what they're doing can control or restrain their behaviour - as narcbolan on this thread has discussed many times (I assume you've read his posts already but I recommend it). There are probably few windows of opportunity to break through the delusion, choose to do so or live a worthless, cruelly selfish life. Even paedophiles don't have to abuse children.

Those who make an active choice to continue their exploitative behaviour aren't analogous to bacteria at all. Unlike the blissfully ignorant NPD sufferers, those ones at least understand what they are and what they do and still choose to do it. Self-aware, unrepentent narcs are responsible for the destruction they wreak by leeching emotions and resources whilst remaining utterly disengaged with the humanity of their 'host'.

These people aren't merely deluded and wilfully toxic, they are also liars because they tell the poor souls who they feed off that things are not that way and that they truly do care. The bacterium doesn't know what it does, it can't change itself. But younger self-aware narcissists can at least try, and it is complete bunk to suggest that they have no choice but to treat their victims in the way that they do.

So when I say 'sub-human' I mean it. The Fake Strategy of NPD isn't a complete person, it's a hollow imitation of one, originally created to protect the underlying human being from feeling hurt or rejected but now it's the dominant persona. Doesn't make it any more real than one of the myriad characters of someone with multiple personality disorder, just more focused and elaborate.

Bacteria has a life mission. Narcissist have a life mission- not to purposely f*ck people over, but to mostly get what they want through other people. How is that any different? It doesn't matter what level of awareness you have or do not have, it's the pathology of the person that drives them to do what they do, or else they wouldn't be considered to have such "disorder". It's a pervasive pattern in the personality itself that does not change, if it does, it's not a big change.

Pathogen wrote:Bacteria has a life mission. Narcissist have a life mission- not to purposely f*ck people over, but to mostly get what they want through other people. How is that any different? It doesn't matter what level of awareness you have or do not have, it's the pathology of the person that drives them to do what they do, or else they wouldn't be considered to have such "disorder". It's a pervasive pattern in the personality itself that does not change, if it does, it's not a big change.

No, insects and bacteria have no conscious awareness of their own behavioural tendencies/pathologies. Most human beings are rational and conscious of self, if you don't grasp that basic truth then there's no point discussing it with you. I post here on the off-chance that intelligent/self-aware 'narcs and norms' will get it; I don't much care if you don't - I don't enjoy talking to brick walls.

I don't think you like to accept the fact that pathological Narcissist make their actions based on their interests. You assume they could just be so self aware that they can make the decision to do what you assume is "right" and not do harsh things to others(?) You're not Narcissistic i'm presuming, so it's very difficult to express exactly how to get this across to you. There is a reason why people are pathological and others are not. But like you said, you don't like talking about it to walls, and i don't like talking to the defensive Post Traumatic Stress victims of such individuals.