Sex with a Narcissistic lover

Am I crazy or have others found that sex with a narcissistic women is better than any you have had.

Airplane

Narcissists are concerned with the quality of their "performance". If you have value they could put a lot of effort into pleasing you on the assumption that great sex is addictive and you won't want to leave them even when they start mistreating you.
This seems a bit more like an HPD thing to do, though.

Mine held out all the time and then blamed me for a dismal sex life.

Of course it's not. Sex is Sex is Sex.

I have had sex with 3 different men who have several traits of NPD.
I could safely say that these have been my least satisfying sexual partners.

The sex life I had with my NPD was not too good. He thought he could just climb on, pump away and that I would be satisfied. Sorry to be graphic! haha.

He had NO idea about how to touch a woman, how to please a woman or that a woman would even WANT to be pleased! He thought just penetrative sex would be all and once he had finished it was over!

I had to basically train him on where to touch a woman and how to do it. It was not easy and he was pretty reluctant. I also had to pretty much ask for or suggest satisfaction every single time!

He did love to watch porn and try and various different positions, but this was purely to show off how much of a man he was and boost his ego with how good his penetrative sex was. He seemed to like the rough stuff, pinning down, making it hurt and things like that. I think it gave him some sort of power trip and confirmed in his mind that yes, he IS a man. He seemed to think that those things made good sex. To him it was probably great because it stroked his ego.

Sorry if that was a bit graphic.

Mine has persuaded me to do things I thought utterly disgusting and had refused for decades to do with other men.

After being a great lover for two years, now he's started trying to act out stuff I assume he got from porn -- he wants to make me gag (deep throat); half-strangle me; bind my breasts; cum in my nose (!) and over my face; have me urinate on him during sex and put my fingers up his rear end. He's also bought me a leather collar which I must wear during sex, which he pulls on.

In addition, he won't bring me off by hand or mouth, nor use a toy on me for same result because he finds it "boring". All he wants to do is receive oral and do penetration (preferably anally). If I want a climax I have to give it to myself! The whole time he is thrusting he talks lustily about urination. It's horrible and I am trying never to see him again.

I have no idea if this is because of NPD or just porn-fed?

Does this ring any bells with anyone?

HisSupply, it rings bells with me.

My NPD didn't talk about urination or anything like that, but he watched porn numerous times a day and would want to try and all kinds of things he had seen on there. I always felt he was disappointed after we tried it out as it didn't live up to his expectations after seeing the porn actors doing it. I always felt kind of, I don't know, useless at it I guess.

He liked the whole power-trip of sex and would sometimes do it so hard that it would hurt to the point where it took the breath out of my body and he loved that. If i tried to get up, he would pin me there. It gave him some kind of power trip.

We didn't have things like sex toys or things to wear during sex, probably because he couldn't afford to buy them. He always used to talk about handcuffs etc though. I'm not a prude and I'm not against trying different things at all. I enjoy sex and I like variation, I don't even mind being submissive, but it was the whole thing about hurting me that wasn't enjoyable.

He always found bringing me off by hand boring as well, he hated it and used to fall asleep while doing it. I used to love pleasing him and found it pleasurable to see how much he enjoyed it. I guess he just wanted to enjoy it all for himself.

ewww this thread is disgusting

Hello Imjustagirl

Childish people find any discussion of sex, no matter how seriously conducted, unacceptable, and so there is very little on the Net about how Narcs behave. But thanks to the likes of you and me the patterns are emerging. And patterns they are!

"I always felt he was disappointed after we tried it out as it didn't live up to his expectations after seeing the porn actors doing it. I always felt kind of, I don't know, useless at it I guess." SAME HERE

"He liked the whole power-trip of sex and would sometimes do it so hard that it would hurt to the point where it took the breath out of my body and he loved that. If i tried to get up, he would pin me there. It gave him some kind of power trip." SAME HERE

"He always found bringing me off by hand boring as well, he hated it and used to fall asleep while doing it."

This is VERY interesting -- two Narcs with the IDENTICAL attitude towards this. Can anyone else add their own Narc's attitude to this. Oh, forgot to say, mine won't give me oral, for the same reason, but enjoys ME doing it to HIM for 30 mins, 60 mins at a time.

"I used to love pleasing him and found it pleasurable to see how much he enjoyed it." SAME HERE and that is why I was puzzled to find he didn't enjoy seeing me enjoy what he was doing to me! Surely even on an ego-trip basis, to see the effect you are having on a woman is enjoyable?

Anyone else comment sensibly and seriously on this?