Banned from NPD survivor "support" forum

littlewing wrote: This experience has been difficult, but very educational. Interestingly, when I said a bachelors in psychology is dangerous and I don't know what I'm talking about, I was trying to be self-deprecating and humble - admitting I was wrong. One of the members maliciously threw it back in my face and the moderator praised her for it. It felt like being bullied in 4th grade all over again. Obviously, this is the last thing I expected from a support group.

Hello littlewing,
I skimmed thru your post history, and I see nowhere where you were rude or insultive or displayed any other actions that could have risen to the level of banning you, in my opinion. In fact, quite the contrary. I thought, at some points, you restrained yourself more than I would have. For that, congratulations. This forum is a good mix of diagnosed narcissists, narcissists, those who have some traits, those who have traits and don't know it , and those who have tangled with and been hurt by narcissistic people. I like the mix. The narcissists are tempered by those who've been negatively effected by narcissists, and the 'victims' are tempered by languishing in victimhood tooooo long - we all seem to learn from each other. Thus, many of us who are not narcissists don't use the Non-Narcissist thread and we post wherever we wish, as that seems to be working well in this forum for all concerned.

Knoxy was clearly implying that I might be a narcissist myself. My actual diagnosis is depression with borderline features, but my mom is an N so I'm sure I learned N behavior and exhibit it in a different way than my ex-bf.

There were some veiled messages there from what I read and it made me uncomfortable too. The moderation seems a bit too heavy for my taste. My mother is diagnosed NPD and so, like you, I've lived with narcissism for my whole life. I don't think I'm diagnosable for anything at this stage in my life and growth, but you never know...

I don't usually get this angry and feel so persecuted, but I think the behavior on this forum is just as bad if not worse than what I've experienced at the hands of an N. A big bummer and obviously not what I expected from a supposed support group.

I think you'll like this forum. Stick around, contribute, and see what you think.
Wlecome!
Lifesong

lol. that site's the best scam around. if you know what to look for you'll see that many of the moderators are prototypical disordered. they like to keep the posters dependent on their expertise (their form of NS). and Vaknin just gets off on being their grand puba. it's actually quite a nice racket. i can't hate on them.

No need Myers. I'm actually glad I don't fit in there. I can feel more free to express myself here and I like that it's a forum for everyone affected by Narcissism and Psychopathy. I was so convinced that my ex is a Narcissist and now I'm not so sure. He displayed about half of the symptoms. I just want to learn more about the disorder from all perspectives and figure out why I had such a volatile/abusive relationship with him. I was drawn to him because I wanted something from him. He didn't hypnotize me or put a gun to my head. We all act in our own self-interest the majority of the time whether we suffer from a disorder or not. I wanted his intensity, his adoration, his intelligence and his charisma. When he got a glimpse of my humanity and flaws, that adoration turned into disappointment and he began to mistreat me. That made me sad because my needs were no longer being met, so I needed to pathologize and demonize him. It's obviously more complicated than that, but those are the nuts and bolts.

What's your story on the Vaknin site? Do they trust you?

Does anyone else think that all the mods on that site are actually all Sam Vaknin under a different guise?

littlewing wrote:What's your story on the Vaknin site? Do they trust you?

Let's see... The first time I joined, I openly admitted my psychopathy, and was instantly banned. The second time, which was a few minutes afterward, I argued why I should stay. I was banned again after two posts. Then, I told them I was *edited*. Then I just dropped the bomb by indirectly admitting my psychopathy. Banned again. (They acted so proud of themselves for "finding" and "defeating" a psychopath, despite the fact that I had the same IP address for all of these accounts. Including the one I'm using now. It was amusing.) Then I made my wife get an account and tell her story of living with me. She was banned. I made *edited*, a friend of mine, get an account to see if he would get banned. He told of how he *edited*, which is true. He got banned. And he wasn't a psychopath or narcissist. Now I have this account. My story for this particular person is of a woman who was emotionally abused by her narcissistic husband, and is working up the courage to leave and go "no contact." But she is having trouble accepting her independence, and feels she must rely on her husband for financial support.

morning star wrote:Does anyone else think that all the mods on that site are actually all Sam Vaknin under a different guise?

I wouldn't put him past him... And I do find it a bit odd that there are never two or more mods on at once.

*deleted*

Impressive Myers. I remember them warning users about "P's and N's in disguise". They pride themselves on catching them which I guess is what they think they did with me. Either that or they pegged me as a sympathizer. Users sometimes ask to have their posts deleted in a paranoid panic because they think their ex has infiltrated the forum. What exactly is your goal on the site? Is it just a game or is it therapeutic for you?

littlewing wrote:Impressive Myers. I remember them warning users about "P's and N's in disguise". They pride themselves on catching them which I guess is what they think they did with me. Either that or they pegged me as a sympathizer. Users sometimes ask to have their posts deleted in a paranoid panic because they think their ex has infiltrated the forum. What exactly is your goal on the site? Is it just a game or is it therapeutic for you?

It's Vaknin's game. Like Cheshire said, it's a scam for Vaknin and his cohorts to acquire their "N-supply". I just want to shake things up for Sammie. Maybe ruin his precious rep in that cesspool he calls a forum. Anyone want to join? They may moderate it strongly, but they're hardly ever on, and it takes awhile for them to check IPs.

I thought about setting up a new account but that chick knoxy really drives me nuts. I would lose my temper and get banned immediately and be right back where I started. It would be great if the site could be exposed for the joke that it is. I feel terrible for all those desperate, vulnerable people who are being programmed into isolated, paranoid nutcases. They're being trained to find narcissists around every corner. They're advised to avoid all dating sites even when they live in tiny towns where they know everyone are afraid to run into their ex at a bar. There's a common theme in their stories - outrageously bad luck, divorce, legal problems, money problems, etc. How convenient to have a scapegoat for all your poor life choices.

I think you're better off here. From the conversations, its clear you acted in a civilized manner and I agree with Frayed and Myers. That site has serious issues:
1) its owned by Sam, who is Narcissist himself that uses fake "research". Which gives all of us a bad name.
2) Its a fact that the US has been glorifying Narcissistic tendencies for some decades. That doesn't mean there's Narcissists everywhere.
That site uses Sam's idiotic "research" in believing that Narcissism is of a cookie-cutter type. This cookie-cutter type when matched with America's Narcissistic traits leads to the paranoid assumption that we're everywhere. This assumption is validated by Sam himself, and I'm sure he's laughing at all of you for buying it. This paradigm leads to extreme paranoia where anyone with a Narcissistic trait must be a Narcissist. A dynamic similar to the Spanish inquisition is the end result. With dynamics like that anybody who disagrees is a traitor. Like Myers, I made a fake persona on that site and I didn't sound one alarm either.

I'm also impressed that you're actually willing to look at yourself. If that bothers them than you've outgrown them.