an unresolvable conflict

How do you deal with the fundamental tension between:
1) Finding people annoying and their presence painful and tedious
2) Wanting supply and favors, and avoiding feeling lonely and ignored
What options are there besides climbing the ladder of power and success so you can bend people to your whims? There's got to be an easier way...

Use Occam's razor to cut thru the BS

Seriously though, I think narcissists just have to hold themselves to a higher standard. Work hard to gain supply from brilliance whalst tolerating the blandness and triviality of everyone else. Its exhausting but I believe that is the nature of the condition.

sfguy75x wrote: There's got to be an easier way...

Nature of the beast, i don't believe there is. To get anywhere in life requires a fight, unless this were a utopia, but wishful thinking wont get you anywhere

sfguy75x wrote: Finding people annoying and their presence painful and tedious

Is this a problem for you?

sfguy75x wrote:Wanting supply and favors, and avoiding feeling lonely and ignored

...Or are you looking for advice?

capitalME wrote:Use Occam's razor to cut thru the BS

Seriously though, I think narcissists just have to hold themselves to a higher standard. Work hard to gain supply from brilliance whalst tolerating the blandness and triviality of everyone else. Its exhausting but I believe that is the nature of the condition.

I'm not an N, however, the sentiment holds true to myself. I'm bored by most, and find small talk annoying, and I don't enjoy meeting just anyone for the sake of getting to know a person. I'm a bright, educated, successful woman, and I find that most people I interact with aren't that interesting.

So I think basically it's an occasional part of life to feel lonely and dissatisfied, or ignored, or not appreciated, while seeking someone worth your time. Not necessarily an N thing. What to do about it? Wait. Engage in what interests you, and eventually you'll meet someone interesting too.

Have you never met an interesting woman? Who challenged you? If so, how did you meet her?

maybe that should be started as a new thread? interesting question nevertheless how about you?

dahlia1 wrote:Have you never met an interesting woman? Who challenged you? If so, how did you meet her?

The highest IQ girls I've dated have also been the most problematic. Too many emotional issues. If there's a woman out there who is brilliant, stable, and loyal I'd like to meet her.

VTheChaosTheoryV wrote:Is this a problem for you?

Obviously, hence the question.

capitalME wrote:Use Occam's razor to cut thru the BS

As much as I enjoy being quoted, that doesn't make much sense in this context.

SFGuy, your not becoming depressed on us are you buddy?

OMG!

sfguy75x wrote:How do you deal with the fundamental tension between:
1) Finding people annoying and their presence painful and tedious
2) Wanting supply and favors, and avoiding feeling lonely and ignored
What options are there besides climbing the ladder of power and success so you can bend people to your whims? There's got to be an easier way...

Man up! Don't tolerate anyone you are CHOOSING to be in a relationship with. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who is tolerating me and thinks i am tedious. You need to keep looking and quit settling.

capitalME wrote:Use Occam's razor to cut thru the BS

Seriously though, I think narcissists just have to hold themselves to a higher standard. Work hard to gain supply from brilliance whalst tolerating the blandness and triviality of everyone else. Its exhausting but I believe that is the nature of the condition.

If you are looking and/or hoping for a LTR, it doesn't matter if you identify your self as a "Narcissist" or a "Normal", set your boundaries and your standards in the beginning and don't waver. It is a different story if it is just sex, as long as both parties agree that is what it is. Then settle away.

Your original question, if referring to work interactions, that is something we all must deal with day to day, Normals and Narcissists. We try to be polite and interact as little as possible.

Gessolin wrote:Man up! Don't tolerate anyone you are CHOOSING to be in a relationship with. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who is tolerating me and thinks i am tedious. You need to keep looking and quit settling.

That's a good point but my question really wasn't about a significant other, it was about the world in general. Let's put it this way. I love being at home where I can be alone with my computer and books and movies and my electronic toys. At home there's nobody to annoy me except my wife and she's learned I don't like being bothered that much except when I want her.
But if I never go out then I miss opportunities to meet people who could be useful in some way or other and I get bored from the overall lack of interaction. So sometimes I feel the need to put on my mask and force myself into social situations and endure the company of others so that I can try to impress them and win supply. Even though doing so is kind of unpleasant, the reward can be worth it in some cases.

One of the biggest problem as I see it is my mask doesn't hide enough. My body language gives away the fact that having a conversation with someone I don't know is awkward and uncomfortable, even while I'm trying to remember the "rules" of social interaction and come up with witty and clever things to say to make a good impression. But I know this is a problem that other narcs don't have so how do you deal with it? Do you just have to take better control of your body language and hide all possible signs that you don't enjoy talking to people?

Gessolin wrote:Your original question, if referring to work interactions, that is something we all must deal with day to day, Normals and Narcissists. We try to be polite and interact as little as possible.

Actually work interactions for the most part aren't a problem. I actually like interacting with colleagues as long as they are smart and like talking about interesting things, and many of my colleagues fit that description.

I am the same way Sfguy, I prefer being home but find myself anxious/upset that I am alone, its a catch 22. I am unhappy unless interacting with people, but I don't like the people to begin with so don't want to interact with them. I agree with the work thing, and the rare person I can connect with. At work/with real friend I am calm relaxed comfortable, I know they are people of intelligence and have something in common with me. I suppose the issue is going out to clubs/bars ect.. where most of the people are easily and quickly devalued. I'd rather talk to someone I met in a book store than a bar.