Is it Narcissistic Personality Tendency?

Hi, I would like to join your Narcissistic Group. I would like to give brief intro about myself. I am 27 years old woman. Highly sociable, Compassionate, most of people tells that I possess all the good qualities of a distinct personality. However, I personally feel there are something troubling me once I get into a relationship.

* I will have periodic intense mood swing (Every 8 days). When my mood swing comes, I just want to dump my boyfriend. A few hours after mood swing, I will regret what I have said to him;
* I prefer frequent sex with my boyfriend in order to have the "feelings" with him;
* I slowly slowly become dissatisfied with each boyfriend, however my parents are telling me my each boyfriend has been doing their best to make me happy;
* I do not have the need to have a boyfriend who share my life.
* I can not stay with boyfriend more than 5 hours a day, because I always feel suffocated by staying with a specific person for longer hours; I feel easily bored with him;
* Sometimes, I do not want to care to sympathize other people's thinking. I believe I am always right.
* I am highly sociable, however, I feel difficult to maintain long-term relationship, because I know friends are only temporary, I can make friends when I need them;
* Being alone is better, sharing my private life with a boyfriend only will cause me mood swing;
*I like to care people, only in short term; I feel my care slowly become a sort of responsibility;
*I am highly sympathetic and compassionate; I attract lots of people; But I like to be alone;

I can list more than these. However, I feel it is enough for a brief intro.

I would like to join the group. I would like to know myself more and more, because I always want to be better!

Do you think I have Narcissistic Personality Tendency?

Thanks for your reply.

i think most people have narcissistic traits but from what I have learned they have no compassion and fake feelings of sociability. Read as much as you can and it may give you some insight into these disorders. 1% of females and 3% of men have npd I read. A family member has it and I possibly have some tendancies.

You don't seem to have a narcissistic personality tendancy because you said you were compassionate. I have NPD and have been told I have no compassion for anyone which goes along with empathy and frankly I don't want to be compassionate or empathic.

44 wrote:I have NPD and have been told I have no compassion for anyone which goes along with empathy and frankly I don't want to be compassionate or empathic.

This is the most curious trait of all. My N-friend has said something similar. He likes himself the way he is. Yet he also says he's sad for his life...
Do you ever realize, 44, that your behavior causes suffering to people who have cared about you? Are you ever sorry, just a bit, about that? (as, for example, Progressive has stated that she is)

And if you had to be 100% honest with yourself, do you never get the sensation that you may be missing something, in this lack of empathy?
Do you ever, at all, feel envious of people who feel a vaster, deeper array of emotions than you seem to?

I don't mean to pry or provoke, if you don't want to share. I'm just trying to get a better grasp.

Maybe borderline personality dissorder? I am not an expert in it or anything...but I think with Narcissism it is more like rage from being confronted as being wrong, while borderline is more like mood swings...I believe they are both from the cluster B personality dissorder, (dramatic-erratic)...maybe check into that....I dont think either N's or Borderline ppl have compasion, but I dont know for sure because I've never studied borderline personlity dissorder....

Borderlines can SAY they are very compassionate and caring and such, yet, this is only mostly when it is related to THEMSELVES, not to other people and for other people. And thus be extra careful of borderlines that say they are compassionate.
Compassion is an action and stable through time. I had a friend saying they were very caring empathic and compassionate and it really LOOKED that way? But, when it came to the BP's compassion for me, a friend, there was none. And there I found the discrepancy.

Borderlines want to seem compassionate, it gets them more NS. It is about THEM, not you. And that is all there is to it, IMO.

hi chzhcn,

I think you could have a cluster b disorder, but I'm not sure how much it helps you to know this unless you are willing to confront and begin working through what caused the disorder with professional guidance.

One thing I noticed when reading your self-description is that it contains contradictions and shows a lack of self-awareness. You describe yourself as having qualities regarded as positive like "compassionate" and "sympathetic" while at the same time describing attitudes and behaviors indicative of lack of compassion and sympathy.

Lack of self-awareness and lack of consistency in self-descriptions is characteristic of NPD and other cluster b personality disorders.

Also, what you describe when you talk about boyfriends and friends does not sound mutual but rather one way and somewhat disconnected. You seem to be intensely focused on your own (very volatile) feelings, needs, and (lack of) satisfaction, as if you are trying to "get something" out of others and fill a hole within yourself, instead of establish a mutual relationship based on love and reciprocity.

If you sincerely want to deal with these conflicted feelings you have and improve your relationships with others, professional counseling would be a good place to start.

chzhcn: You do not have NPD tendencies. You are a normal person with normal human feelings and thoughts. You, like many other people, are just scared at times and protective of your feelings. You choose to keep a certain amount of distance from people because it allows you to remain in your *safety zone*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that - as long as you do not harm yourself or others while doing this.

One day, you will meet people that you feel comfortable enough with to maintain a close and healthy relationship/ friendship with. It is not a must for you to always have best friends or a boyfriend, you don't have to be what most societies expect of the average female/male. When it is time and when you are ready, you will make good friends and meet a guy that you really click with (and won't get bored.) Until then, be yourself, be happy and be comfortable. If you're not hurting anyone or yourself while doing so, then there is NOTHING wrong with that. It *is* important that you put your own needs and comfort first (as long as you harm no one else while doing so) and that you take care of yourself first and foremost -- only then will you be able to take care of and be truly comfortable with people you love and appreciate.

But I'm sure you already know this