She came with a WARNING!

GWN wrote:I’m not Chris…

Your right… I’m have completely lost myself. The stuff that she put me though to break me down, it would be hard to believe if I told you. She has emotionally sucked me dry… She has sucked every ounce of Self-esteem I had… You know, I did not even realize it until it was gone. I don’t believe you should blame people for what happens to you. I was always under the premise that you have control over your life, know one else has. But this if different, her goal was to suck me dry… It’s illogical… I think of my self as a normal, successful Businessman… I was manipulated, twisted, and then stepped on. Towards the end here, to show you how bad off I was… One of her many tricks… She would call me and ask if I was coming over… If I would give her the wrong answer, she would say Ok. If you don’t come over right now… I am leaving, I’m going to a bar, I will go home with the first man I meet, and F@#% him all night. I would go over and she would look as if she was ready to go out. She would say, oh… I would not do that to you. Pure mental manipulation!

Thanks again, I will get help, and try never to be codependent again… It’s going to be a long hard road.

toughtobU wrote:dang it cum, you finally hit it out of the park. You are the NPD who was beaten by the HPD. Everything you have posted makes total sense now. Thanks, and hang around, you might learn sumthing.

toughtobU wrote:who are you cumm?

40+ years old
cheats on his wife
promotes a porn site. (A link from psych forums.)
claims he didn't know what a clit was, (cum on.)

you did not care, your a NARC. You would have refused sexual relations six months after you were married.

Jo A'ine wrote:I can't begin to say how grateful i am for all the recovery types of things that i have done to learn about myself and what caused me to be so enmeshed with the narcissists in my life.

And, it is becoming easier and easier to spot them as time goes by.
These are the things that i did to get better:

1. I located the "NPD" expert in our area...a therapist who had been counseling them and their families for over 20 years, almost as long as the diagnosis was actually one.

2. I worked with her for almost 2 years. She educated me to NPD, although it took longer than that for me to absorb the info and practice it...that is just because of me.

3.I also went back through my life with a psychologist to my very young childhood and addressed all of the abuse issues. Having been diagnosed with PTSD, it was necessary for me to have EMDR therapy et all the traumas, to have them heal.

4. I was recommended to attend Alanon and pick a blackbelt sponsor and to work the 12 steps, in order, whether i liked it or not. To work as hard and be as thourough as i could be. I did all of that, and continue with the "maintenance" program of daily growth and self awareness.

5. The result of doing all of this is that the panic went away, the agoraphobia was resolved, the PTSD is almost gone except the occasional triggerered dregs of it, i developed a full identity all my own which i had never had my whole life, i cleared away the wreckage of my life and cleaned up my history so that it doesnt' plague me and fill me with guilt or sadness

6. I have reconciled and redeemed myself in my life My parents, my X partners, etc,....i am no longer the extension of any twisted personality disorder.

7. I simply do not "fear" NPD today and see an NPD as someone who is so ill that they are horribly easy to manipulate. As much as they would like for others to believe that they are truly the center of the universe, the reality is that they are only easily manipulated two year olds. And that is not a "making fun of statement" it is actually the truth about where they stand.

and this is why i just don't fear them anymore. I am the person that the untreated narcissist loves to hate, simply because i am not able to be manipulated, and i have and care for my own life...do not give up my values or beliefs to give supply.

An abusive personality simply no longer holds any power for me.
When you see it for what it really is, you recognize the "baby" in them, and all the fear goes away...

you simply can't feed, nurture and diaper an adult baby. They are truly simply in a very sad state.