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Anxiety over your own thoughts?

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Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby SomeDude007 » Tue Dec 10, 2019 12:19 am

Do you guys ever feel anxiety over your own grandiosity, or of revengeful thoughts?

I don't know if this is my OCD side, but basically I'll be going about my day and a negative thought about somebody comes into my mind. Maybe it's someone I don't particularly care for, and I'll think about getting one over them somehow. I immediately get hit with anxiety (maybe shame?) over the thought and try to eliminate it from my mind.

Basically, do you experience anxiety/shame over thoughts of acting out narcissistically, or is the anxiety/shame always felt after the fact?
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby Akuma » Tue Dec 10, 2019 5:39 am

Do you guys ever feel anxiety over your own grandiosity, or of revengeful thoughts?


No. It happens very raraly when I realize that I am actually planning something that might cost people their lives or their jobs or something and then I get careful to keep this at bay. But its not creating anxiety or shame or anything.
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby covertunsure » Tue Dec 10, 2019 3:57 pm

SomeDude007 wrote:Do you guys ever feel anxiety over your own grandiosity, or of revengeful thoughts?

I don't know if this is my OCD side, but basically I'll be going about my day and a negative thought about somebody comes into my mind. Maybe it's someone I don't particularly care for, and I'll think about getting one over them somehow. I immediately get hit with anxiety (maybe shame?) over the thought and try to eliminate it from my mind.

Basically, do you experience anxiety/shame over thoughts of acting out narcissistically, or is the anxiety/shame always felt after the fact?


Absolutely, I feel shame at my own grandiosity. When I feel better than someone else, I feel ashamed and like I need to castigate myself. When I do something that makes someone feel inferior or condescended (or that I think might have done so), I will often apologize out of guilt and/or shame.

Even when I feel good about myself, as with all narcissism (and maybe borderline), it's either "perfect" or "worthless," so I'll feel super gorgeous, movie-star good looking, amazing, etc., then I feel ashamed of that because I know it's grandiose and untrue and vain/arrogant, so I'll flagellate myself for that and force myself to swing to the other side of the spectrum (feeling/acting incredibly self-effacing, looking downtrodden and unconfident, etc.)

I definitely think it has an OCD element. I suspect a number of people with "NPD" or pathological narcissism may in fact have an OCD component that complicates diagnosis. OCD is the great masker, it morphs to fit any preconceived idea its host has and its tentacles can seep into every aspect of that person, forcing a square peg to seem like it fits into a round hole. So if you have narcissistic defenses or tendencies, OCD can make them seem much more dire, pathological, and extreme than they really are--it amplifies everything 10x. Just my opinion.

The redeeming thing about this is that OCD is more treatable (in theory) than NPD. So even if one is prone to narcissism, the OCD makes it 10x worse and when the latter is treated or addressed somehow, the narcissism may become far less disabling.
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby xdude » Tue Dec 10, 2019 4:20 pm

Interesting question.

I get misleading messages though. Be grandiose when it benefits others, but also don't be.

Cheers when I bring home a big pay check, but also beatings for don't think to highly of yourself and think more about us. There is a problem for sure, but is the problem strictly mine?
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby SomeDude007 » Tue Dec 10, 2019 5:51 pm

covertunsure wrote:Absolutely, I feel shame at my own grandiosity. When I feel better than someone else, I feel ashamed and like I need to castigate myself. When I do something that makes someone feel inferior or condescended (or that I think might have done so), I will often apologize out of guilt and/or shame.

Even when I feel good about myself, as with all narcissism (and maybe borderline), it's either "perfect" or "worthless," so I'll feel super gorgeous, movie-star good looking, amazing, etc., then I feel ashamed of that because I know it's grandiose and untrue and vain/arrogant, so I'll flagellate myself for that and force myself to swing to the other side of the spectrum (feeling/acting incredibly self-effacing, looking downtrodden and unconfident, etc.)

I definitely think it has an OCD element. I suspect a number of people with "NPD" or pathological narcissism may in fact have an OCD component that complicates diagnosis. OCD is the great masker, it morphs to fit any preconceived idea its host has and its tentacles can seep into every aspect of that person, forcing a square peg to seem like it fits into a round hole. So if you have narcissistic defenses or tendencies, OCD can make them seem much more dire, pathological, and extreme than they really are--it amplifies everything 10x. Just my opinion.

The redeeming thing about this is that OCD is more treatable (in theory) than NPD. So even if one is prone to narcissism, the OCD makes it 10x worse and when the latter is treated or addressed somehow, the narcissism may become far less disabling.


I can relate to some of this. Did your shame/anxiety manifest itself once you became more self aware of your NPD tendencies? For me, it's always been there, I think. Even before I knew anything about NPD or my possible tendencies. I can distinctly remember moments of my childhood of this anxiety; for example, there was a time in HS where I did well on a test. I congratulated myself in my mind, and then the thought popped in my head that I was better than everyone in the class. That thought was followed by extreme anxiety; even now, I can get a little anxious just thinking about it.

I do agree about the OCD though. When I'm anxious/ruminating about another "theme" other than NPD, my belief that I have NPD is less of a problem. So I know that there is an aspect of my OCD that is amplifying my worries.

xdude wrote:Interesting question.

I get misleading messages though. Be grandiose when it benefits others, but also don't be.

Cheers when I bring home a big pay check, but also beatings for don't think to highly of yourself and think more about us. There is a problem for sure, but is the problem strictly mine?


I think I can relate to this line of thinking as well. I've always sort of minimized my accomplishments with this line of thinking, to the point now that they don't even bring me joy sometimes. Definitely a problem.
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby EllaBlack » Tue Dec 10, 2019 6:04 pm

SomeDude007 wrote:Do you guys ever feel anxiety over your own grandiosity, or of revengeful thoughts?

I don't know if this is my OCD side, but basically I'll be going about my day and a negative thought about somebody comes into my mind. Maybe it's someone I don't particularly care for, and I'll think about getting one over them somehow. I immediately get hit with anxiety (maybe shame?) over the thought and try to eliminate it from my mind.

Basically, do you experience anxiety/shame over thoughts of acting out narcissistically, or is the anxiety/shame always felt after the fact?

I feel no shame for how I treat people because it's justified in my mind.. What I feel shame about is being incompetent and pathetic, but even that isn't entirely my choice..
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby Manners73 » Tue Dec 10, 2019 6:16 pm

I don't feel shame when what I'm doing is justified.

I wouldn't an to hurt a person who doesn't deserve it.
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby EllaBlack » Tue Dec 10, 2019 6:28 pm

Manners73 wrote:I wouldn't an to hurt a person who doesn't deserve it.

I'll hurt people out of anger/contempt or for some type of gain, but never just for sadistic pleasure.. If I end up raping a girl, it's because I'm horny and maybe angry at her.

I'm such a loser right now that I don't feel confident approaching a girl normally to get sex, plus it's a lot of effort.. So I almost raped a girl last night after making that post.

*mod edit*
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby EllaBlack » Tue Dec 10, 2019 6:48 pm

Oh ya and a therapist walked out on me couple days ago because she didn't like that I was sayin this stuff.. Ya, real ###$ professional.. See, even professionals know it's all #######4.. I had an answer and a counter for everything she said and she couldn't handle it! :)

Mental health care system is a ###$ joke, but that's ok because I got the help I went in for.. Wanted to see if I could make one of those delusional ###$ crack and sure enough, showed her true colours!

Thanks doctor Paulette! 8)
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Re: Anxiety over your own thoughts?

Postby Manners73 » Tue Dec 10, 2019 8:25 pm

[quote="EllaBlack":#######1][quote="Manners73":#######1]I wouldn't an to hurt a person who doesn't deserve it.[/quote:#######1]
I'll hurt people out of anger/contempt or for some type of gain, but never just for sadistic pleasure.. If I end up raping a girl, it's because I'm horny and maybe angry at her.

I'm such a loser right now that I don't feel confident approaching a girl normally to get sex, plus it's a lot of effort.. So I almost raped a girl last night after making that post.

I just need some ######6 PUSSY! :evil: And why should I go without if I get the right opportunity.. People don't sacrifice their love of meat for the animals that they eat and that's ok, but I'm a bad guy for using someone to shoot my load.. What a ######6 joke. :lol: Smh..[/quote:#######1]

Being put on the sex offenders register would cause me more anxiety than going to prison.
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