Alternative healing methods for NPD

Hey folks!
This is my first thread on the forum, so excuse my possible lack of orderliness in the structure of this text.

A short introduction:
I've been in psychodynamic therapy from February of this year (and still am). My only official diagnosis is "F40.8: Other phobic anxiety disorders", even though I've known for a longer time that I got the covert variant of NPD.

Diving into the topic:
Has anyone of you tried any different sorts of healing methods? Did they work?
In this thread the following topics are forbidden:
Big Pharma meds, any official therapies, psychedelics or any substance-related therapies (comparisons are allowed, if briefly mentioned)

I very recently entered an energy healing session for the first time in my life. I'm not going to give details about the treatment at this time (only if asked about). I was very lucky, since a person close to me first went to this healer and verified his legitimacy. Hence I could surrender freely to the experience.
Long story short, after the treatment I felt like a totally different person.
The negativity I had lived my entire life in, totally vanished. Truth be told, I've never felt this good/serene before. I seem to have more control in my actions, and life in general (in a good way).
It's been about two weeks since the treatment, and still I haven't regressed back into my old "form".
However, I'm still self-centered, and fantasize about powerful things. Surprisingly, the "evil" in me has diminished so greatly it almost seems to have disappeared. How can this be?
I've always thought these alternative healers were a complete hoax...

Just to compare:
I feel this one session has helped me more than any ayahuasca seremony or mushroom/LSD trip,
or my official psychodynamic therapy. I still acknowledge the importance of these experiences, because they were necessary in order to be able to open up to a complete stranger.
However, I'm aware that there are a lot of scam artists in the field of healing, alternative and official alike.

What are your opinions of something like this? Agree with me, challenge me, share your experiences or whatever else; I'm okay with it all.

Sign me up!

Jokes aside...no, seriously. Where do I get to go to this

I personally have quite a strong believe in alternative methods and find it amazing if it was possible to truly offset the so-called ´evil´ side. The ayahuasca ceremony I went to was enough to convince me that there is way more to life than a scientific explanation of things.

I personally ever only tried holotropic breathwork (post-aya) but it seemed to skim the surface in the sense that I started to dissociate and almost go to sleep once I was asked to intensify the breathing and finally my hands and body tensed up when (in a very odd reptile sort of fashion, even the sounds I emitted through my throat were slithering sounding, which I found to be very odd that they did not scare away the guide.) When released, itallowed letting go a strong emotional baggage and I felt a strong light presence in the room but what was missing was my own sense of responsibility and involvedness. (I did focus on my core trauma though) and after the session was done I kind of felt too vulnerable and dazed/confused so I kind of rationalized it away. It didn´t help much with losing that grandiose ego though.

cubem0n wrote:Has anyone of you tried any different sorts of healing methods? Did they work?
In this thread the following topics are forbidden:

I found the spiritual methods most usefull. And the terms and concepts offered by them were the closest to reality. "Discover and nurture the true self", "trust yourself, love yourself", "love can change a person", "core wound, emptyness, cosmic void". Recieved answers in dreams. And magical empathy, feeling love from hyperspace.

SelfSerf wrote:I personally have quite a strong believe in alternative methods and find it amazing if it was possible to truly offset the so-called ´evil´ side. The ayahuasca ceremony I went to was enough to convince me that there is way more to life than a scientific explanation of things.

My friend's back from his aya ceremony. They dont give you breakthrew dose in ceremony. Even twice the dose isnt breakthrew.

SelfSerf wrote:Sign me up!

Jokes aside...no, seriously. Where do I get to go to this

I personally have quite a strong believe in alternative methods and find it amazing if it was possible to truly offset the so-called ´evil´ side. The ayahuasca ceremony I went to was enough to convince me that there is way more to life than a scientific explanation of things.

I personally ever only tried holotropic breathwork (post-aya) but it seemed to skim the surface in the sense that I started to dissociate and almost go to sleep once I was asked to intensify the breathing and finally my hands and body tensed up when (in a very odd reptile sort of fashion, even the sounds I emitted through my throat were slithering sounding, which I found to be very odd that they did not scare away the guide.) When released, itallowed letting go a strong emotional baggage and I felt a strong light presence in the room but what was missing was my own sense of responsibility and involvedness. (I did focus on my core trauma though) and after the session was done I kind of felt too vulnerable and dazed/confused so I kind of rationalized it away. It didn´t help much with losing that grandiose ego though.

Well, I think it's a good sign that you show interest in these type of treatments. It's only a matter of time before you find a healer that actually helps. Assuming you can keep up the persistense in searching for one, of course. And yah, I would sign you up of course, if could!

As for the 'evil' side taking a beating, I believe so much baggage was removed that actually had been feeding the "devil driver" and its dark urges, that it feels like it disappeared. However, my grandiosity is still there, but having a fresh start is quite welcomed at this point. Now I get to pick the "right" reasons to be angry or to resent somebody, instead of my childhood programming doing all the work. And yes, mainstream science is a load of bollocks anyway, so the insight you had is a valuable one IMO.

It sounds as your holotropic breathwork experience went quite deep. To me it seems like you've managed to get much further in digging into the core trauma, than I have. I guess I'm trying to make my life work with my grandiosity and all the other quirks associated with it, because I've come to like them in a way. That is, for now anyway.

AProphet wrote:I found the spiritual methods most usefull. And the terms and concepts offered by them were the closest to reality. "Discover and nurture the true self", "trust yourself, love yourself", "love can change a person", "core wound, emptyness, cosmic void". Recieved answers in dreams. And magical empathy, feeling love from hyperspace.

I absolutely agree with these, as far as the one using such terminology is honest, as opposed to being an "ultra spiritual" poser trying to impress everybody around him/her.

I am reading through ‘denial of true self’ by Dr. Alexander Lowen. It’s a form of highly specialized therapy and it’s been awhile since I put the book down but he talks about exploring things in the patients past that should trigger a strong emotional response and then find parts of the body that are extremely tight that are blocking the emotions from coming through.

He uses some sort of pressure release while encouraging the patient to scream, Yell, kick their feet and punch the air etc. that this will break through to the true self and get in touch with the emotions and feelings that are being suppressed. Sounds really strange, it’s certainly unconventional, some of the techniques almost seem perverted but obviously he asks the patient for permission first

ZeroZ wrote:I am reading through ‘denial of true self’ by Dr. Alexander Lowen. It’s a form of highly specialized therapy and it’s been awhile since I put the book down but he talks about exploring things in the patients past that should trigger a strong emotional response and then find parts of the body that are extremely tight that are blocking the emotions from coming through.

He uses some sort of pressure release while encouraging the patient to scream, Yell, kick their feet and punch the air etc. that this will break through to the true self and get in touch with the emotions and feelings that are being suppressed. Sounds really strange, it’s certainly unconventional, some of the techniques almost seem perverted but obviously he asks the patient for permission first

Idk if thats the way to get in touch with your feelings. But It was like I had a true self. Like the perfect concept, for what It was like. exactly describes, what your experiencing.

ZeroZ wrote:I am reading through ‘denial of true self’ by Dr. Alexander Lowen. It’s a form of highly specialized therapy and it’s been awhile since I put the book down but he talks about exploring things in the patients past that should trigger a strong emotional response and then find parts of the body that are extremely tight that are blocking the emotions from coming through.

He uses some sort of pressure release while encouraging the patient to scream, Yell, kick their feet and punch the air etc. that this will break through to the true self and get in touch with the emotions and feelings that are being suppressed. Sounds really strange, it’s certainly unconventional, some of the techniques almost seem perverted but obviously he asks the patient for permission first

That sounds just horrible.

I think a lot of these alternative "healing" methods are quackery and take advantage of people who are really in need of help.

ZeroZ wrote:Sounds really strange, it’s certainly unconventional, some of the techniques almost seem perverted but obviously he asks the patient for permission first

Its not for NPD, but this reminds me of the weird hugging therapy, that was offered in a clinic I was wondering to go to last year. Its called bonding therapy. Basically someone lies on top of you and you somehow supposed to feel into yourself and then scream out your feelings that come up in that moment.
Yea. I gave that a pass.

Not to hijack the thread but not making a new thread either since this is somewhat related...ignore as you please.

It´s about a crazy dream the other night after a night out. Was amidst downing my third beer and abusing cigarettes while walking home when the emptiness and pointlessness just all hit me. Having withdrawn more into a schizoid state recently and having grown more and more paranoid about the alienating effect my presence has on people, I found it very hard to actually enjoy myself while out. Music gigs have been one of the only places where I´ve actually enjoyed myself but having grown more cognizant of my ASPD traints, I have to constantly be vigilant that I´m not creeping anyone out (I only really get a kick out of entertaining/getting a laugh out of people and it´s to a point where I think that the only remaining point to my twisted existence i.e. the only value my presence can provide to other people is that)

Anyhow - tripped from one city to another with a long-time friend of mine (but am sure I actually assigned into a father-figure role a while go). He´s someone whose extremely knowledge but who I´ve lately been annoying with my immaturity and cynicysm. He´s obviously much more mature and socially accountable than I am. He´s also had a series of mis where his long-term relationships with girls crumble, due to his high standards for himself and the depression that has thrown him into (by the girlfriends´ account). Anyhow, he´s a person I´ve long held to be a good friend probably due to some similarities (I´ve doubted whether he has some elements of cerebral NPD) and keeping him in high regard. Long story short - he introduced his new girlfriend (who lives in that other city) to me before the gig started but I was giving off enough of a bad vibe so as to deem myself not capable of hanging out with them. Met some other people who I used to hang out more in the past but hadn´t seen for a few years. Failed to connect to anyone really and just bolted, walked home amidst downing my third beer and just felt like a piece of ****.

When finally getting shuteye, I had a very vivid dream where I was a part of some indian type of ritual. Now the weird part was that it very much resembled my aya ceremony in how I was implored by the spirit guides (there were 3, two of which seemed fictional, one barely resembled my mother) They were very distant (just like everyone in my life has always felt, distant, unreachable and me being somewhat alien in my presence with respect to them) but I was getting this adamant vibe about them expecting me to go through a cleanse, i.e having to puke out the blackness (similar to an aya cleansing, which during the cermony I attended I could not do myself but the main ayahuasquero had to take on himself instead). The feeling or rather presence that I had to out from my system was kind of pride personified. Now the crazy part is the feeling in the dream of needing to out something from my body which is stuck in the emotional centre (the belly/diaphragm area) was so real I actually felt upon waking this immedacy, a dire sensation that I had something stuck inside me which I needed to lose amidst the ritual´s process but was not capable of doing myself and the whole thought behind it was enough to eliciting shivers. So upon actually thinking and kind of getting in touch with the assignment that was given me (I was not aware of being cold). As the dream faded from my awareness, the bodily reactions started fading as well. I did pray and kind of this humbleness with which I felt I needed to get in touch elicited more shivers. So the exprience was as vivid as after I attended a hypnosis session and experienced a schizm of self where the superego/inner critic/devil driver sadistically taunted my inner child for feeling anything at all.

Needless to say it was immensely weird and I found it odd since the only thought I´ve given this topic is this very thread and and article I read after looking up local energy healers over here. So yeah, magical experiences aside, maybe it was just a thorough realization of my subconscious and how ego-dystonic I have become to the original person I deep down still see myself. Namely, I became a devout closet Christian (I was embarassed and ashamed of looking for faith or God) after my mom passed. So I never really told anyone but basically retreated to my inner world where I deeply judged the people around me and held the world in contempt.

Some of you are probably aware that narcissism in the Christian line of thinking is equated to possession of the Jezebel spirit, of which if you read about equates with NPD about 100% accurately. Seeing as I´ve had more and more actualy proof of there being a spirit realm and have first hand experienced my disorder as a kind of possession of a malevolent (although protective) force, It also coincides with the notion of a spiritual approach to alcohol as a substance, in that it´s essentially a spirit and the consumption of it might make a person already prone to it (i.e. lacking agency in and of themselves) more easily possessed by other entities.

SelfSerf wrote:So the exprience was as vivid as after I attended a hypnosis session and experienced a schizm of self where the superego/inner critic/devil driver sadistically taunted my inner child for feeling anything at all.

Your inner child, your true self? Let me tell you, the disorder is like possesion. You could call the false self a demon and you wouldnt be far from the truth.