Dividing the NPD forum

shanzeek wrote:You mean Kimera? What made her delete it?

Kimera left for personal reasons. She was kind enough to let me know and I have tremendous respect for her doing so. I wish her the best. That is all I will say on the matter as the rest is private.

As for this topic, it will be helpful to the forum to see where you each stand.

Let us clear up some confusion. The rules of this forum and every forum here are set by three groups. Site owners, site admins, and contributions from Mods. Mods come and go. Our primary function is to enforce the forum rules. Yes, we have a small hand in culture. But that is it.

Now each forum has some flexibility to it and is certainly shaped a bit by personal opinion from the respective Mods. But there has never been a black-white issue regarding nons posting in this forum. Never. Some Mods throughout the history of this forum did not allow nons and some did. It has been a constant back and forth.

We are currently trying to clearly define what is allowed to be posted in here and who is allowed to be posting in here. Once that is determined it will be strictly enforced, no exceptions. And it will be posted. I am actually grateful this thread came up because this is something I want to accomplish.

So, we will keep this thread going for awhile, but it is clear where some of you stand.

I wonder why the owners made this site. What was the purpose?Doesn't it depend on the purpose what would you allow.

If only people with npd could post here then i think the mods should have it too in order to be mods ,like someone said in the aspd forum. Then i would agree with that opinion.

mark1958:

You are right that bringing together narcissistic personalities (from which in this post, I will now on call narcissists) and empathic/dependent people gives an extraordinary chance at understanding each other. But when we dig down into our different personalities, who is getting the most out of this?

The narcissists do not care for the dependent people. We have no interest in them. Narcissists think very logical and one of the primary defensive mechanisms is rationalizing illogical behavior to become logical for the narcissist himself. Dependent personalities are based on emotion, and a dire need for someone to tell them what to do, so what happens when a narcissist gives advice on relationships, one of the core areas where pathological narcissists tend to fall completely flat on their faces? It ends up becoming a disruptive advice to the relationship of the dependent personality, and what do the narcissist get out of the exchange? Nothing but wasting his/her time in helping issues that we cannot help others with.

What do we get out of it though? It seems a lot of flawed discussions based on petty pop psychology assumptions and a total lack of understanding for each other’s disorders, which eventually leads to build up tension. For the narcissist, the tension is self-made simply because they feel more entitled, smarter and better than the dependents that posts on this forum. For the dependent, the lack of emotional understanding from the narcissist becomes frustrating. In the end, this provides a natural divide between narcissists and others, something that is even represented in real life with the whole “narcissistic abuse support”-groups that most narcissists hate with every fiber in their bodies.

I quote you here:

There is a remarkable uniqueness that exists here on Psychforums. We are not a victim bashing site (though many wish us to be), nor are we purely support for pwPD. We have both and the exchanges are both insightful and informative. I hope that uniqueness lasts.

This “uniqueness” that you are referring to, is actually what is draining some of the userbase from here. People are looking for understanding elsewhere. Honorable mentions such as Discord servers for psychopathologies are popping up everywhere, dedicated only for people with psychopathologies. This way they can discuss and have a proper dialog with people that truly understands their disease. PsychForums is ridiculed behind the scenes for the lack of intelligent discussions that comes from the fact that this forum is a mixture of insolent self-proclaimed victims and psychologically unhealthy individuals.

I have no interest in debating with victims. Why? I find them to be lesser beings. They are pathetic, weak and emotional, and I find that ultimately frustrating to discuss with. Their arguments are run by emotions, and their logic is ultimately flawed. If I seek to discuss, it is with people of my status. Narcissists or the likings that have no time for emotional turmoil.


Quoth:

The simple reality is that no one here is responsible for these peoples failed relationships and I fail to see why they should be punished for them. You would not allow people to take out their frustrations in the BPD forum by telling them how abusive and un-empathic they are. Yet for some reason a double standard exists as regards the NPD forum. At the very least staff should be acting to prevent the mobbing and misinformation which have been so prevalent of late.

I agree with every fiber of my being. There seems to exist a double standard on this forum, one which I am bringing to life. Too much time has been wasted on listening to people that have no clue about the disorder, and the huge amount of misinformation and lack of proper academic understanding.


shanzeek:

The solution is more than simple, you don't need mods for it - simply ignore posts and questions of all those who are not NPD and you'll get your NPD-support-forum back.

This is a flawed logic, and goes to show your complete lack of understanding of a narcissistic personality structure. It is not a natural thing for a narcissist to let it go. Competition, discussion and winning over someone proclaiming something they do not agree with, is literally something that spurs from the core of narcissistic personality structure. It is not as simple as ‘just ignoring it’.
I rather want to see others ravel in the dirt due to their own arguments than I want to ignore something I know does not fit with my view of the world. This is a place for narcissists to come for support, when the whole internet is plastered with “10 ways to destroy the narcissist” or even better “Group against Psychopaths, Narcissists and other toxic personalities”.

Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away. It only facilitates it to let it grow. You have to kill it before it evolves. Same goes for the slow transition on this forum from purely narcissists discussing their psychopathology together, to a victim’s support forum.

My conclusion is this:

Why allow – what should be, but are not – intelligent discussions about a certain psychopathology, when the two groups discussing it, are literally those that end up destroying/abusing/acting out on each other in real life? What is the purpose for the narcissist to listen to the dependent/masochistic individual, when he doesn’t want to? Why are the forum moderators allowing discussions about things that give no nourish to this forum’s further understanding of the personality disorder that is NPD?

I have an extreme dislike for “victims”/emotional people, and I do not want to meddle or talk with them. That might be a narcissistic thing to say, but I would rather see them hurt, than helping them with their relationship. And I think that goes for a lot of narcissists. It is better to divide this forum into two separate parts.
How many read the rules in their b#tch breakouts, after their ex f#cked their best friend? None. So give them a place to literally curse and hate on NPD, while we others are given a place to use our intelligent gift to discuss more important matters than those currently discussed.

Midwinter wrote: That might be a narcissistic thing to say, but I would rather see them hurt, than helping them with their relationship. And I think that goes for a lot of narcissists. It is better to divide this forum into two separate parts.
How many read the rules in their b#tch breakouts, after their ex f#cked their best friend? None. So give them a place to literally curse and hate on NPD, while we others are given a place to use our intelligent gift to discuss more important matters than those currently discussed.

You do know your intelligence is below average, right? Your primary problem is not NPD but low IQ, Mid. You're an idiot.

Shanzik, just stop, these poor attacks have devolved into ad hominem arguments, quite laughable honestly. Uneducated people like you and fücking Julia with her idiotic ideas and garbage grammar are why, at least in part, this forum has gone down the drain. Pestilences, you are!! It's impossible to assess IQ over the internet so it's you, incontestably, the one that looks unintelligent saying that. We can't make you and grammar lacking, pathetic Julia to leave, but it does ruin the forum for it's intended members.
Checking out, the herd thins yet again!

Well I am not qutie sure what "intelligent discussion" would come out of this. Call me nihlsitic, but one of the reasons this forum is useless is also because everything is useless to us; discussion symbolizes change, change symbolizes imperfection. The only evolution is to go to therapy and try to get a new personality structure, that is not embedded in a everlasting moment, but accepts such change. Basicalyl one could write a little script-bot that tells everyone here after they post "Go to therapy" and it would still be the best tip to give them, because that's what most of the posters here are for some inexplicable reason not doing.
I for one am interested in why I am compulsively trying to help people here, for example, because it doesnt feel good, its mostly stressy, often infuriating. I mean I tried assisting that weird paranoid asperger schizophrenia dude for like a ######6 year lol; I probably threw away one or two weeks straight of my life while trying to write answers that somehow got to him - well admittably I found his insanity to be fascinating at least. But in the end I'm as empty as before, yet I keep doing this.
It is a question worthy of looking at though. While it is true that it is a onesided thing and we get nothing out of this, would there every be anything that we would get something out of? It would help if not 99 percent of the people would just vanish when they feel better of course, a thank you here and there feels pretty good - so thanks back at HR_p. But even that just seems to drown in a lake of nothingness doesnt it. Or maybe I'm just more depressed than usual. Sigh. Who knows.

Uneducated people like you and fücking Julia with her idiotic ideas and garbage grammar are why, at least in part, this forum has gone down the drain.

....
i feel the same about you .
you attack me first actually and you are a ######6 offensive moron who cares too much about what others think ,is so pathetic,you are so ridiculous. yeah make this a ######6 narcissistic social club to enable each other.that would be hilarious. fine keep your ######6 stupid forum.i regret i ever wrote in this part of the forum. you are just such a narcissistic $#%^ and you deserve each other
this forum has gone down the drain because of your lack of empathy and big's anatoly idiotic ideas.
and since we share our thoughts and you said about me ,i can't ######6 even read what you write most of the times big anatoly, is such unintelligent gibberish.especially in comparison with others with npd. you do not seem like a narcissist to be honest,just like an idiot. your posts were usually ignored by me,never helped me to understand anything. in comparison with the other 2 in the topic.


about midwinter post,i was thinking omg i am upset of how much you care about how others think.like obsessively,i guess is the npd.
i wouldn't want to live like that to be honest. but i was agreeing with you,i was thinking you should keep your forum actually. and i shouldn't post here at all.


until that that pathetic moron had to attack me personally.and i get completely the need midwinter wrote to attack back and not just ignore it.and if it goes down the drain. it wasn't me who started it.
that part that you always have to answer and can't ignore it was relatable. i really wanted to say worse things because i think big anatoly is such a loser but i tried to control myself.i did learn to control myself more though in this forum

-- Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:18 am --

also now i want to join discord.nice advertisement .

shanzeek wrote:

Midwinter wrote: That might be a narcissistic thing to say, but I would rather see them hurt, than helping them with their relationship. And I think that goes for a lot of narcissists. It is better to divide this forum into two separate parts.
How many read the rules in their b#tch breakouts, after their ex f#cked their best friend? None. So give them a place to literally curse and hate on NPD, while we others are given a place to use our intelligent gift to discuss more important matters than those currently discussed.

You do know your intelligence is below average, right? Your primary problem is not NPD but low IQ, Mid. You're an idiot.

A mediocre ad hominem fallacy because you know everything I say is correct. I know this got to you personally simply by your answer. If that isn't a lack of intelligent discussion and understanding, I do not know what is. My intelligence is way above average, and I can assure you, you would know if we ever met.

Akuma wrote:Well I am not qutie sure what "intelligent discussion" would come out of this. Call me nihlsitic, but one of the reasons this forum is useless is also because everything is useless to us; discussion symbolizes change, change symbolizes imperfection. The only evolution is to go to therapy and try to get a new personality structure, that is not embedded in a everlasting moment, but accepts such change. Basicalyl one could write a little script-bot that tells everyone here after they post "Go to therapy" and it would still be the best tip to give them, because that's what most of the posters here are for some inexplicable reason not doing.
I for one am interested in why I am compulsively trying to help people here, for example, because it doesnt feel good, its mostly stressy, often infuriating. I mean I tried assisting that weird paranoid asperger schizophrenia dude for like a ######6 year lol; I probably threw away one or two weeks straight of my life while trying to write answers that somehow got to him - well admittably I found his insanity to be fascinating at least. But in the end I'm as empty as before, yet I keep doing this.
It is a question worthy of looking at though. While it is true that it is a onesided thing and we get nothing out of this, would there every be anything that we would get something out of? It would help if not 99 percent of the people would just vanish when they feel better of course, a thank you here and there feels pretty good - so thanks back at HR_p. But even that just seems to drown in a lake of nothingness doesnt it. Or maybe I'm just more depressed than usual. Sigh. Who knows.

There isn't any real need for change in discussions. There will never be with narcissistic personalities. However, there are new members that might see themselves in the responses, and get to know themselves. See things from a new perspective. It also facilitates affirmation for someone unsure if they have a narcissistic structure.

So there is a few benefits for people, but not if we have a few lesser teenage beings that think it is cool to have a PD, and think they understand it.

Now Mark, if the attacks and tension doesn't goes to show there is a great need of divide, I do not know what does. This forum is burning to the ground. The narcissists wants a safe haven to talk about themselves, and the sore losers have unresolved inner conflicts they act out from.

Akuma wrote:I for one am interested in why I am compulsively trying to help people here, for example, because it doesnt feel good, its mostly stressy, often infuriating. I mean I tried assisting that weird paranoid asperger schizophrenia dude for like a ######6 year lol; I probably threw away one or two weeks straight of my life while trying to write answers that somehow got to him - well admittably I found his insanity to be fascinating at least. But in the end I'm as empty as before, yet I keep doing this..

I feel the same way when helping someone - stressy and often infuriating if they keep resisting it, it's called being a human being. I know you think you have numerous issues and you probably do, but I always felt like you and Kimera are less messed up than most of nons even.

Good luck with everything, hope your therapy works out (mine too). (:

akuma has a point. i do not even try to help ,is not my motivation, i am just interested by selfish reasons. it made me wonder why specific things are more interesting to me. and it makes me think that i am asking to be abused in a way. and i should make better choices.
when you know that somethings are better for you and you can't find interest in them or don't know how to do them,is tragic.

But in the end I'm as empty as before, yet I keep doing this..

so relatable