Destructive behaviour

Given that your supply is filled, how often do you become rageful? How often do you become destructive and arrogant, often putting others down?

Are you more inclined to be "abusive" when you are at your highest grandiose point, or at your lowest alienated point? Why do you think it is the way you describe?

I can start by saying I always feel aggressive, and I have a tendency to put others down for sheer enjoyment. I can feel the temptation to just explode on others, but I seem to be able to keep it under control at work.

I am definitely more inclined to be abusive when I am grandiose. When I experienced my low point back a few years ago, I found that I was more inclined to see myself as narcissistic and start to hate myself.

When I'm grandiose like you described I transform into what I like to call a social sadist, picking up on people's weaknesses/known Achilles heel, and actually toy with them to evoke reactions which is truly a spectacle for me, and I can make it look like I am innocent and the other person is out of line. I am also far more likely to commit crimes, steal, be outwardly destructive. Most of my brief female encounters don't last to the 4th hookup due to increasingly brash abberent behaviors because it's like I gorged myself on supply from them due to the initial behavior. This leads to either reclusiveness and more internal rage-- or I will seek someone out that is vulnerable/impulsive for fun I guess.

Pondering back on what I do isn't super common, I am one to close the mental door.

-- Fri May 19, 2017 8:20 am --

Also being in such a state is like a nip of alcohol, a disinhibitor by nature.

Given that your supply is filled, how often do you become rageful? How often do you become destructive and arrogant, often putting others down?

I am rageful, when someone starts to abuse, offends or criticise me, it doesn't depend on my supply. I don't put other people down for fun, only if they make a mistake.

Are you more inclined to be "abusive" when you are at your highest grandiose point, or at your lowest alienated point? Why do you think it is the way you describe?

It doesn't depend on my grandiose point. I can keep calm when i need it.

I can start by saying I always feel aggressive, and I have a tendency to put others down for sheer enjoyment. I can feel the temptation to just explode on others, but I seem to be able to keep it under control at work.

I just joke around with people, but i am not a bully, so i don't abuse them, if they are "innocent". If they are good to me, they will be given my protection. I try not to make enemies.

I am definitely more inclined to be abusive when I am grandiose. When I experienced my low point back a few years ago, I found that I was more inclined to see myself as narcissistic and start to hate myself.

I have never really hated myself, i admit i have done some mistakes, but "hate myself", never.

I couldn't really tell you why I get in those moods sometimes. Boredom I guess. Sometimes anger but in a way where I want to use it for my own amusement I guess. I think that I basically just think I'm being social or playful though. I don't really understand that it could be taken another way as I think it would be fun for their feelings to be hurt anyway. Partly because I think that it would be fun if someone started playfully putting me down if it was witty and clever or just ridiculous etc. I would find it amusing when I'm in that kind of mood. So I think it's like a joke or just giving each other a hard time between friends/acquaintances/strangers and everyone else will just find it as fun as me. Like whatever. I'm usually very detached and asocial so I guess I see stuff like that as just simply being social in a way :/ although also not really idk. I just think it's fun and would be fun for everyone I guess or not matter/be amusing. Like what does it matter. As long as it's done in a cute fun or witty way. But then people take it more serious sometimes. I guess I'm not very good at it. Come across too serious then people get annoyed. But with some people that could be what I wanted anyway I guess. I actually like adapting it so they are unsure if I'm putting them down or not though too. As that is amusing. That's just how I think you make friends

I don't even know what I'm saying. Im trying to think of too many small times in the past when I feel like that and how I act. I'm not sure but I do remember times when I feel like putting others down for fun for those reasons. I don't want to do it for malicious reasons then as I don't see it like that. That would be reserved for if someone actually comes at me, I really hate someone or it's just necessary. But I usually avoid actual conflict if I can. I am very conflict avoidant most of the time as I just like to ignore and walk away if something bothers me. I can be 'destructive' if my anger comes out but not in my control just in the moment, but it doesn't seem like this is what you're talking about.