real self

What do you do when finding your true self only becomes the final, most concrete proof of why the false self must exist?

What false self is best? A pseudo-true self?

What do you become when you are fully disillusioned and must consciously decide on a self to construct? What do you choose?

vertices wrote:What do you become when you are fully disillusioned and must consciously decide on a self to construct? What do you choose?

I'm pretending this scenario is a reality for me right now...

I choose the one that coincides with my actual feelings. Anything else would be sub-par.

Contro wrote:

vertices wrote:What do you become when you are fully disillusioned and must consciously decide on a self to construct? What do you choose?

I'm pretending this scenario is a reality for me right now...

I choose the one that coincides with my actual feelings. Anything else would be sub-par.

As I said in the OP that is not feasible. You cannot choose your actual feelings. If the true feelings were returned to consciousness, you would be too crippled to act on them, you would sit there suffering, paralyzed, until you created a false self again.

vertices wrote:As I said in the OP that is not feasible. You cannot choose your actual feelings. If the true feelings were returned to consciousness, you would be too crippled to act on them, you would sit there suffering, paralyzed, until you created a false self again.

If that was the reality of it, I'd probably choose to suffer. I'd suffer until I found a way to fix/distract myself from the pain or until I died.

Contro wrote:If that was the reality of it, I'd probably choose to suffer. I'd suffer until I found a way to fix/distract myself from the pain or until I died.

Hah, well of course that is easy to say when one is not suffering. For the sake of the question, assume that choosing the true self is impossible, you must create a false self, what does that false self look like?

vertices wrote:Hah, well of course that is easy to say when one is not suffering.

Suffering is never easy, but it would be necessary for the outcome I would want.

For the sake of the question, assume that choosing the true self is impossible, you must create a false self, what does that false self look like?

So if there was no true me, how would I create a false me?

It doesn't matter. I personally don't have the capacity to create any false-selves I dream about anyway.

What false self is best? A pseudo-true self?

When I discovered that I probably was a narcissist, I fantasized about going to therapy and overcoming my narcissism and becoming open about my emotions and forming significant relationships and just becoming a happier and better person. Then I realized that it wasn't much different from how I fantasized about becoming a "whole new person" when I started college.

If you could actually attain this, well... I just don't see how you can pretend to reveal your true self without actually doing so. Wouldn't you (sub?)consciously know that something is wrong?

By the way, vertices, what happened to you that you're asking this?

So if there was no true me, how would I create a false me?

You just logically evaluate what persona would give you the most supply in the long term, the most reliably and for the least work.

Considering the antics overt narcs get away with, I guess it doesn't require too much thoughtfulness necessarily. But I feel like, if you're going to commit to living a certain life, might as well choose the right one.

vertices wrote:You just logically evaluate what persona would give you the most supply in the long term, the most reliably and for the least work.

That would require knowing who I really am in order to create the false me.

Why would it be impossible to be my true self when I know who I am?

VisionOne wrote:It doesn't matter. I personally don't have the capacity to create any false-selves I dream about anyway.

What false self is best? A pseudo-true self?

When I discovered that I probably was a narcissist, I fantasized about going to therapy and overcoming my narcissism and becoming open about my emotions and forming significant relationships and just becoming a happier and better person. Then I realized that it wasn't much different from how I fantasized about becoming a "whole new person" when I started college.

If you could actually attain this, well... I just don't see how you can pretend to reveal your true self without actually doing so. Wouldn't you (sub?)consciously know that something is wrong?

By the way, vertices, what happened to you that you're asking this?

By pseudo-true self I don't mean something that reflects YOUR true self, I mean a "normal" personality. Feigned assimilation.

What happened to me... well that's a complex question isn't it? Basically I saw the bottom of an abyss that nobody would follow me into if they knew that's what was happening.

Why did you think you are a narcissist?