Sarcasm - just another form of agression?

I also believe it is a false grandiosity and used to put others down to raise own self. However your examples aren't sitting right with in my mind, they read to me as straight up mockery rather than sarcasm. I have always believed sarcasm to be saying the direct opposite of what you truly mean.

HR_p wrote:Examples:

"Why would she suddenly show up at this meeting and make comments about past work products? Where was she, when we were working all these years - home dusting?"

"Well, that's a fun little Website he threw together, for an accountant."

"If I had been asked, I never would have put more than four people on this team. It was a recipe for disaster, and now we are all tasting the humble pie."

HR_p wrote:
What would you all have done?

Was I making a bad assumption about his intentions? Was I fragile and he meant it only in the best way?

I would of taken the remark at face value, it does not scream sarcasm to me, even if it did, who cares? Ruminating about a word here or there is the cause of destructive personalities. It's classic narcissism, and will eat you up and warp you. Focus on the things said to you that you liked on any given day.

I don't mean to be rude, but a review of definition of terms might help you not get offended unnecessarily. I say this because it really might help you feel better in the future about how humor is, or in this case, is NOT being used on you.

"Well, HR person, you're obviously very good at what you do."

From my view as a non, If the comment was completely out of context, not having anything to do with what the two of you were discussing, yet it's directed at you, yeah, it's a sarcastic dig meant to trip you up and put you in your place. Ignoring it like you did was the best response actually-- you didn't let him get to you, not allowing it to be all about him. and you focused on the points you wanted him to hear.

Know which battles to pick...

MeAgain wrote:I'm glad I'm British! We don't take everything quite so seriously as the rest of the World!

only coz you are pre-disposed to apathy /schizoid'ism etc...

HR_p wrote:So, my reaction since then has been to beat myself up for not addressing the comment. I constantly remember it and wonder if he does this to my younger co-workers and they feel sad, or confused. I kick myself because I didn't immediately squash his right to make a judgment in order to demean the fact that I was doing my job and addressing an HR issue that was of his making, and I was offering quiet clean-up.

What would you do to address it? I think ignoring it is the best response. It seems to me anything you could have said (except to write him up for creating a hostile work environment, or sending him to a therapist) would have been supply. He would just say you're overreacting and get a charge out of you proving you're not.

It sounds like it's more about your co-workers which I don't think is healthy (rationalizing your own draw to him). The big-shots hired you to be his keeper -- to contain his eccentricities from affecting them and their bottom (financial) line.

I would leave for a new job (considering how abusive the situation is, especially if you have the rescuer tendency, reactive to him, etc.). Or, if you're concerned about the other workers, start a "color of your parachute" team building program to "educate" the team to understand how people are "different" and touch on the more extreme differences. At some point you could expand upon the narcissist personality, how it functions in the workplace using examples which unmistakably apply to the one in your workplace.

Then you could really say you really did your "HR person" job.

I used to mistake Sarcasm for Wit/Irony - the former is a not so thinly-veiled attack, the latter is a humorous way to bring painful truths to light.

HR_p, you're right, he was trying to show who's the boss, and you're smart to move on with your other points in that meeting. However, if you are still dwelling on his words and smarting months/years after it means he has succeeded in his attempt to get under your skin.

if you think sarcasm is agression you live a very sheltered life