Can any Narcs help me figure out if she was NPD or BPD

I made a thread over in theBPD area

However after doing some more research
I believe she might have NPD instead of BPD


She had a frantic child hood and was dealing with courts to determine custody of her when she was little

Here is a link instead of posting everything again

It's a very long post but I would very much appreciate it if you can help me out

Thank you

family-support/topic169813.html

I posted some links about NPD in another thread. You'll receive more feedback if you understand NPD and can state how you see it applying to her, and what your goal is. Nobody here can diagnose her. And, nobody can relate her personality to this disorder any better than you can.

If you are invested in her and wish to help her, the best thing to do is see a therapist who can guide you (and help you understand if there is something self-sabotaging about your attraction to her. It doesn't have to be. But, it usually is.).

She does sound a little like a girlfriend I once had. Except mine wasn't as histrionic. Codependent Borderline Histrionic, I'd say. I trust my Human instincts more than I would a therapist!

MeAgain wrote:She does sound a little like a girlfriend I once had. Except mine wasn't as histrionic. Codependent Borderline Histrionic, I'd say. I trust my Human instincts more than I would a therapist!

Thank you for your advice
From what I have read,she seems to display many different traits of NPD,BPD,HPD
It's so difficult on the person that was with her (me)

It's been about 10 weeks since break up and after all the things she said like she doesn't want to lose me and she wants to start all over with a fresh start,she has yet to contact me
Like I'm assuming those were lies and it hurts

There is many possibilities
Maybe she didn't want to lose me but she didn't tell me she doesn't want to be with me (possible Depends PD)

I think the worst part is that sometimes I feel like I'm still with her since there was really a lack of closure

Any other ideas
Thanks guys

She's probably waiting for you to make the next move. You have to play the game. Just keep it casual, since she's not good relationship material.

http://youtu.be/Tfg4MlRRpuM

MeAgain wrote:She's probably waiting for you to make the next move. You have to play the game. Just keep it casual, since she's not good relationship material.

http://youtu.be/Tfg4MlRRpuM

Yes I know

I loved her dearly and wanted to work things out

In the end she said maybe crazy and crazy don't mix
I was puzzled by that

She did tell me she has body dysmorphia and ocd so maybe that supports her having BPD or NPD more

I think I can safely say it's over
Her mom told me she had to see where she stands

I though in my head
Where the hell do I stand??

No sex for 18 months
She treats me like $#%^
Her mom tells me she wants us both to be happy
Her mom told me she looks at me as her son in law and she tells people good things about me
Her mom wanted me to move in and help them pay the mortgage since the step dad is leaving
About two weeks before she told me this,I was helping them build a fence around the house and did so many things for them throughout the relationship that just makes me feel like I was used


Her mom told me that she was the same way when she was younger,and not to take this push personally because she would do it to anybody

I have a feeling the step dad divorcing the mother was a trigger hence why she was comparing me to him and saying what if I leave her the same way the step dad left her mom

I have her blocked on Facebook and have deleted all our pictures to help me move on

I friend told me she deleted all our pictures too so I'm assuming it over

A part of me hope it is,but a part hopes she reaches out to give me the honest reason as to what happened
However if she lied about her cousin taking 4 breaks ,than how can I be sure she will be honest with me so is there really no point

I know she kept our breakup quite for about two weeks from all her co workers

They told me she said we weren't seeing eye to eye and we grew apart
What couple doesn't grow apart of there is no intimacy involved

So much confusion lol
Sorry for the long text
Had to vent a little
Anger in this situation is good though
Makes me push away from her harder

But a big thank you to you guys who replied

You're stuck between the Devil and the deep blue sea; because I hope you realise you will be out of your depth with a Normal girl. A nice quiet codependent is what you need. At my age all the good ones have been taken!

MeAgain wrote:You're stuck between the Devil and the deep blue sea; because I hope you realise you will be out of your depth with a Normal girl. A nice quiet codependent is what you need. At my age all the good ones have been taken!

I'm not sure I understand the text correctly
After tons I reaearch,I believe that I am defiantly co dependent

Do you mean your telling me I should find someone similar to me ?

If so I definitely agree
It's just very hard getting over this since it feels like I have been inside a black hole and trying to get out from all the confusion and chaos


I have a feeling it will be hard to find someone around my age lol
I'm only 22
Feels like all girls want theses days are to go clubbing bar hopping money and reapeat l

Both of my parents are codependent and they've been together for 56 years. Married at 21 years of age. Quiet girls are interested in clubbing, are they!

MeAgain wrote:Both of my parents are codependent and they've been together for 56 years. Married at 21 years of age. Quiet girls are interested in clubbing, are they!

I hope I find a girl that's not into clubbing

My ex that I recently broke up always told me how pathetic it was that she is 23 and she barely goes out to clubs

Thanks for the advice

Would you recommend ever reaching out to the Ex and seeing how she is doing
Or just wait for her to reach out to me if she ever will