Is my mother a narcissist?

Hi everyone. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on whether my mum is a narcissist? I'm feeling highly confused about the whole thing, and I can't stop feeling like I'm being silly or overreacting for thinking she is a narcissist.

Basically my mum's behaviour fits an awful lot of the characteristics of a narcissistic parent. She's psychologically manipulative, controlling, self centred, always has to be right and has always wanted me to live my life according to how she wants me to. When I became my own person at uni with the help of my friends she reacted really badly to it, questioning all my views, attempting to convince me I was wrong, deluded etc. She has always been jealous if she could sense me getting close to my friends or boyfriends or if I took their advice over hers, and tried to make me distrust them. The worst thing she has ever done is to threaten to disown me because I went out with someone she didn't like (she didn't like him because he was older than me and mixed race), and with the help of my sister bullied and manipulated me into breaking up with him. As a child I was always being told off and always being blamed for things that went wrong. Also, my sister seems to fit the golden child persona, as she herself seems to be narcissistic and a carbon copy of my mum. My mum will often take her side over mine if there's a dispute and I was often shouted at for retaliating when my sister bullied me as a child. My mum is extremely critical of me and always has been. She also constantly criticises my dad and he lets her do it. He hardly ever stands up to himself because standing up to my mum is not done in our family and he "wants an easy life". The unwritten rule in my family seems to be that my mum is in charge and her will goes, and you do not ever cross her. Also if you ask for something off her she does nothing but complain about how hard done to she is and about how unreasonable you are being for asking, and how much she already does for you. This also extended for asking for money for anything extra from what she already gave me (such as train fares to visit home) and I rarely asked except for times when I really needed it. The confusing thing about this is that sometimes she reacts completely differently. Sometimes she'll react like that but sometimes she'll be fine with you asking for something and be really cordial about it. Do narcissists do that? Also, sometimes she seems to really resent being a mother and tries to take away all her motherly responsibilities yet will still try to lecture me and talk to me like a child.

The only thing which is making me doubt the idea she is a narcissist is that she has and can be really nice, warm and loving when she wants to be. As a child I really felt like she loved me (despite the fact she often lost her temper and made me feel bad about myself quite a lot, as well as hitting me). SHe also defended and protected me from bullies and spent a lot of money on me getting music lessons, ballet lessons ect. She was always telling me how I was the most important thing to her and she loved me and my sister more than anyone else, and that she lived her life for us. She also used to buy me LOADS of really nice presents at christmas. Do narcissists do this as well? I'm just so confused about the whole thing.

So does anyone know what to think of this? I don't want to settle on the idea that she is a narcissist if she isn't...