revenge fears

i suffer from a few things-- borderline personality severely, OCD, rumination and just a general inability to function in the every day world.

i've been that crazy stalker ex/single white female crazy person, who has gone completely crazy on people-- i never stoop down to violence or in person verbal crap mostly because in person i'm extremely well behaved. it's just a lot of online harassment and phone calls. it's the type of behavior that gets you excluded and ostracized. if someone treats me well, i never ever behave this way, it's only when i come into contact with other disordered people-- NPDS< HPDS and other BPDS, cluster bs, now i avoid anyone disorderd and stick to the nons.

sometimes i'm afraid someone's actually going to do something to hurt me, they've tried emotionally time and time again ( i might get upset ( but i get upset if a stranger gives me a bad look) but i get over it).

what's the likelihood of bad things happening in return?

the npds i'm referring to aren't malicious, just callous and stupid, they just happened to mess around with the wrong person. they say they dont care but it got bad...

well not stupid as in intelligence, they're both brilliant, there's no fun sparring with morons, the game only gets fun when someone knows how to play the game. the problem with the npds is that they lack empathy so they don't know when to cut it off. they're so disconnected that things just get worse and worse. maybe i suffer more in the end but i have less to lose, so it ends up balancing out.

they're just stupid because they lost everything when all they had to do was say i'm sorry and treat someone with respect and decency. They couldn't....

GoddessN wrote:

biancayagger wrote:well not stupid as in intelligence, they're both brilliant,

Brilliant in what?

biancayagger wrote: there's no fun sparring with morons,

Because they don't play the game by the rules you set?

biancayagger wrote: the game only gets fun when someone knows how to play the game.

Did you explain them how to play the game? Did you even tell them that you are playing the game at all?

biancayagger wrote: the problem with the npds is that they lack empathy so they don't know when to cut it off.

Everybody know that, even you know that.

biancayagger wrote:they're so disconnected that things just get worse and worse.

You just answered your own question, if you don't stop playing the game, things will just get worse and worse.

biancayagger wrote: maybe i suffer more in the end but i have less to lose, so it ends up balancing out.

It's your call what's more important, suffering more and loosing less or stop playing.

biancayagger wrote:they're just stupid because they lost everything when all they had to do was say i'm sorry and treat someone with respect and decency. They couldn't....

You will realise one day that you lost everything in playing the game as well.

this entire series/conversation epitomizes the NPD disorder.

uh, duh, of course i lost everything.....i said that, i'm aware of the entire scenario, i'm not delusional ( mostly ) like some.

-- Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:53 pm --

most interactions in life, you dont have to spell it out, most people figure it out.

they're brilliant as in iq-- both in the top percentale, they might be slightly autistic, lacks culture and awareness of basic human concepts. their npd prohibits any actual achievement. people with college degrees, no high school degrees have accomplished more in a year than these two have in fifteen.

anyway, i'm not here to argue, it's a useless venture. i asked a question. see, i'm walking away. i might have lost everything but i can rebuild. they will lose everything again and again.

Define losing everything? Perhaps in their eyes whatever it is they are losing is not that important to them? Just food for thought.

GoddessN wrote:

biancayagger wrote: have lost everything but i can rebuild. they will lose everything again and again.

Whether they have lost everything or not, it is none of your business. Whether they have Autism, NPD and whatever other mental illness they have, it has got nothing for you to worry about, let them deal with it.

You just focus on rebuilding everything again for yourself and not repeating the same mistakes this time.

By your writing I think you are around 20-25 so you have plenty of time. And the guys look like they are much older than you, do not involve with guys a lot older than you or married men.

i'm 50. nice try

GoddessN wrote:Playing games at this age?

I don't think rebuilding has much of use now. But it's never too late, so, build whatever you can while you are still alive and physically healthy.

i think people play games at any age. my grandma who's 90 still plays games, it's human.

GoddessN wrote:

biancayagger wrote:i think people play games at any age. my grandma who's 90 still plays games, it's human.

Lol, and I thought only disordered people play games, now we know it's just being human.

normal people play some games but it's mild, only disordered people mind f you. she's a narc

Narcissistic behavior is in all people. The difference that I have experienced is it is amplified to a much higher degree and getting a pwNPD to come around and own their behavior is major difference. It also has to do with what is your definition of "mind games"?

Yes. In order to accomplish things we know are important, a healthy amount of narcisissism is present.

hey extarget,

not to be a dick....

your posts annoy me more than anyone else's, don't really know why.

you state the most obvious sh$t or reiterate what other people say. the fact that you identify yourself as "extarget" annoys the hell out of me.

you're your own being, victimhood isn't attractive. get off the forum, get a life, live life and your wounds will heal itself.

that being said, there's nothing wrong with posting here and there for support. there's a time where you just move on...

things heal itself if you leave it alone long enough....

instead of just going on and on about the same stupid thing..