Question about narcissists and missing their ex's?

Hello,
While researching I've discovered that narcissists do not miss their ex's, however, from my time with my possible narc ex I find this to be inaccurate. My ex, who was dumped, was pretty much obsessed with her ex in the time we were together. She took a different ways home in order to try and avoid seeing the ex as well as admitting to having fictional conversations with him. Looking back, why this didn't make me run a mile or at least step back is totally beyond me, but oh well.

Were these actions due to the fact that she was dumped?? Can anyone provide some kind of insight into whether narcs miss their ex?

Also, she dumped me for another guy. But, I still find her glancing at me almost a year after she left? No contact in this time either.

Why is this if narcissists aren't supposed to miss any of their ex's?

It may very well be because she was dumped. It was probably a blow to her ego.
I can honestly say that my exes never cross my mind. Don't even care enough to hate them.
But there was one who broke up with me, and I didn't get over that as quickly, not because of him, but because he was the one who broke things off.

Thanks for your reply. Why do you think she keeps glancing at me if she was the one who dumped me?

She's emotionally immature. I'm not name-calling. The development of her emotional intelligence has stunted prematurely. At least that's one of the theories for diagnosed NPD. She probably avoided her ex because an interaction would've been incredibly awkward for her to handle like an adult. It might have less to do with her ex as a person and more to do with her own image. Maybe she fears herself (her reaction to the ex)? But you're right. When someone truly doesn't care (meaning the other person isn't even on their radar), they wouldn't even go out of their way to avoid anyone because they wouldn't think twice about this other person. They'd just go about life as though the other person didn't exist. So really, as it goes with true NPD, it's about HER and her capability to manage a potentially awkward situation that she's avoiding. She can't control his reaction either, which I can imagine might be scary/threatening to swNPD? Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my two cents. Avoidance doesn't mean she cares about her ex. It just means she's protecting herself IMO.

Also, I've read that some pwNPD enjoy seducing others just to get them attached; just to get them addicted/obsessed. It makes them feel superior. Maybe she doesn't want the ex to think she's stalking him because that would make her appear inferior? I dunno. All this control, inferior/superior crap mostly goes on in their own minds. But everyone's different.

Are you sure she fits the bill for NPD?
From what you are saying she seems closer to BPD to me.
You may be on the wrong forum. You may want to ask this questioning on BPD forum.
I know this is far fetched, but my guess is as good as yours I guess.
Assumption often turnes to be 'ass you and me', but you seem obsessed to find the answer, so you at least want to beleive that you are looking for your anwsers on the right place.

My narc ex dumped me 6 months ago (was the kindest thing he ever done for me)

He still background stalks me...and insults me with the usual "i'm superior than you and giving you a put down" text now and again.
I wanted him to find another narc supply, So I can more easily move on, But he hasn't bothered, teasing me, autoeroticism to my pics and put downs seems to be enough supply for him for the time being.

So missing you isn't exactly the word, they'll never truly miss you. they just need a decent supplier.
if your not decent enough they'll revert to someone that was decent in narc supply or will find better.

This is why my ex never completely "lets go" I was pretty decent in the supply books... looked like a royal on the narcs arm too.

I'll want her back because I can't have her back. I'll want to fix it so that I'll be able to have her back, then I'll want to leave. It's a really bad pattern I'm glad I broke, for my sanity and the people I've been with's sanity.

Whether he misses you or not is beside the point. Do yourself and him a favor and move on.

lolidk wrote:It may very well be because she was dumped. It was probably a blow to her ego.
I can honestly say that my exes never cross my mind. Don't even care enough to hate them.
But there was one who broke up with me, and I didn't get over that as quickly, not because of him, but because he was the one who broke things off.

This goes for me too.

I get this weird, sad and angry combination feeling that is really uncomfortable and sometimes becomes hostile. Funny, because sometimes i am the one who wanted to break up and was consciously pushing her away from me.

OP - Maybe your ex is trying to gauge how you feel about him

Unique Username wrote:

lolidk wrote:It may very well be because she was dumped. It was probably a blow to her ego.
I can honestly say that my exes never cross my mind. Don't even care enough to hate them.
But there was one who broke up with me, and I didn't get over that as quickly, not because of him, but because he was the one who broke things off.

This goes for me too.

I get this weird, sad and angry combination feeling that is really uncomfortable and sometimes becomes hostile

Or the anger, "how dare you reject me?", yet you don't want them anyhow. You just can't take it that they don't want you. So you'll want to make them want you. I cut that $#%^ out long ago though, I nearly got into alot of trouble for it.

Melito wrote:

Unique Username wrote:

lolidk wrote:It may very well be because she was dumped. It was probably a blow to her ego.
I can honestly say that my exes never cross my mind. Don't even care enough to hate them.
But there was one who broke up with me, and I didn't get over that as quickly, not because of him, but because he was the one who broke things off.

This goes for me too.

I get this weird, sad and angry combination feeling that is really uncomfortable and sometimes becomes hostile

Or the anger, "how dare you reject me?", yet you don't want them anyhow. You just can't take it that they don't want you. So you'll want to make them want you. I cut that $#%^ out long ago though, I nearly got into alot of trouble for it.

Yes, it's this exactly.