How is this called?

I often have problems communicating with other human beings because I use some words with a different meaning/weight. For example, if I say that I'm egoist, people will immediatly picture in their mind some hideous being who profits and takes advantage of others for his own well being and doesn't feel guilty about it. But that's not what I meant.

I mind my own business without interfering with other people (or trying to not interfere), trying to solve my problems and get by alone. No one helps me and neither I want their help; I don't want to go out of my way to help someone else either. If someone is troubled by something, it's not my problem and I won't care or go out of my way to solve it, even though I could potentially solve it. I care only for myself but, in doing so, I try not to abuse or take advantage of others. Actually, I avoid unnecessary interaction with anyone. I already got my spare of troubles, why should I care about others?

How would this be called? I tried researching words like selfishness, egoism, egotism etc, but it always comes up with the "taking advantage of others" or "manipulating others in doing what you want" etc.

Now, I'm of the idea that everyone is selfish, deep inside (everything we do, it's because we want to do it, not because we care for someone else http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_egoism ) but, once again, "selfish" also has additional negatives attached to it and so it isn't exactly the correct word.

Do you know what comes closest to what I described above? Only caring for oneself without necessarily directly harming someone else, how's that called?

Hmm. All of the words I can think of have connotations of trampling over others. But I suppose people who don't care much about others seem to end up treading on people's toes anyway unless they are socially isolated ?

I'm sure there is a word - I just can't think of it.

Self-contained? Self-reliant? Self-centred? Self-absorbed?
Independent? Autonomous?

jacknife wrote:Only caring for oneself without necessarily directly harming someone else, how's that called?

I think to get this specific meaning you might need two words as they are two separate ideas (only caring for oneself and not harming others). People who are independent or self-centred may or may not harm others - I don't think it's implied either way.

Ya most common words have negative connotation with it. When I think of someone who deals with his own life and doesnt get involved with others, it makes me think of World War 1 and 2. Dont ask me why:-) Two words with this. One is like Switzerland-->neutral. Second word describes the US pre-involvement and thats "laissez faire" (Im pretty sure thats the right term!!:-) Basically an "Its not my problem. Keep my hands ou5 of it" mentality.

And that is apparently the history lesson of the day boys and girls:-)

Introvert ?

It looks like, unfortunately, there isn't a simple way to communicate to others my ways of thinking... what a bother. Oh well, I'll deal with it using another mask, it's all a theatre afterall...

How about Schizoid.
A schizoid directs their attention towards their own inner world. They like to be loners. They enjoy being self sufficient. They like to think they have no need of people. They would see themselves as superior to have no obvious needs. They can be eccentric. Often are cerebral in pursuits.They can enjoy the use of words. Eccentricity is common. They might like to use big words because they aren't really interested in the conversation.They might make a couple of meaningful relatonships in their life but hate being in a crowd. Could be you?
Marg

margharris wrote:How about Schizoid.
A schizoid directs their attention towards their own inner world. They like to be loners. They enjoy being self sufficient. They like to think they have no need of people. They would see themselves as superior to have no obvious needs. They can be eccentric. Often are cerebral in pursuits.They can enjoy the use of words. Eccentricity is common. They might like to use big words because they aren't really interested in the conversation.They might make a couple of meaningful relatonships in their life but hate being in a crowd. Could be you?
Marg

Schizoid comprehends way more things and I think I know about SPD enough after I've been hanging mainly in the schizoid subforum. Also, I'd be surprised if someone knew what a schizoid is; if I said "Hey, I'm just schizoid", 98% of people will start thinking I'm some crazed delusional lunatic. Unless I really go into details and thoroughly explain what it means, I don't think they'd quickly get a grasp of me.

I'm just looking for an easy way to make my life less of a bother when I'm around other people while still behaving the way I am. If I behave like my true self, then someone will start questioning why I don't do this and that, eventually accusing me of being egoist whatsoever, which definition carries negative meanings. EVERYONE who has seen my true self ended up disliking me, getting convinced I'm some ugly malignant person taking advantage of others and only caring about myself. While it's true I care only for myself, I'm not malignant nor I profit from others; actually, it has been the opposite in the past. The thing is, other people too mainly care for themselves and just fake to care for others; from my point of view, they are being hypocrites.

I don't really care if they are indifferent to me, but being disliked inevitably leads to some troubles. Minimizing interaction with people kinda works, because then I'm "forced" to fake only in very few moments, which is bearable. It's still a pain in the ass

What about saying something like this: "I don't need people, but I don't wish them any harm."
or "I like to keep to myself, but I don't hate people." or "I'm selfish but I'm not unkind."

I think you can find a way to explain is so that others can understand. (After all, you explained it to us in this thread. ) But you may need to use more than a few words to make your meaning clear.

Hi jackknife,
Didn't realize you were after a pseudonym. Easiest way I think would be to identify with someone you felt was like you from a TV show everyone knows. Perhaps having my Sheldon Cooper moment might get a laugh and leave you alone at the same time. Sheldon might be a little more extreme than you would like to go. Making fun of it like that lets people relax about the distance you create with people. Marg