How would a Narc react to a restraining order?

I realize the real answer is going to vary depending on a lot of factors.

In this case, it would be to protect a sixteen year old from her 23 year old predatory internet stalker. They have a hot/cold relationship thing going on. It costs her a lot of time and makes her family feel unsafe for her on a regular basis.

If you put a restraining order on him and he manages to contact her(how are you going to restrain the internet?) and explains to her what has happened it will be more support of the typical "us against them" mind state. You will enable him more, give him more ammo, he will take advantage of it. So, remember, you are pitted against their "love" and perceived only relative to this desire - as an enabler or a disabler of their "love". You may get rid of him with it, but what about her, what will you be to her? The ultimate disabler?

I'm not suggesting anything, just giving some persepctive

addx you're assuming she isnt on her parents side. We dont know that although it could be true.

@OP I dont know where you are; But have they had any physical relationship offline? He IS 23, so in the US (i think depending on the state) you cant be with anyone below a certain age.

As for how he'd react? He wont be favorable. But what he could do is unknown. If they fear for her safety, its best to get the police involved asap, esp if she is consider3d a minor.

uniquelyme wrote:addx you're assuming she isnt on her parents side. We dont know that although it could be true.

Well I understood that from the fact that she spends a lot of time endulging herself with this relationship(or better yet the illusion of it) and from the fact the he describes their relationship as hot/cold.

It it truly is hot/cold then it might be better to try and take advantage of a cold phase by cutting his cord/his link to her somehow. Or at least timing the restraint order with the cold phase and getting her to want to participate in filing it (this doesn't mean bribing her, cohercing her or anything along the lines of that, during the cold phase she should be more open to a different perception of him, this should be taken advantage of).

True and good strategy! I thought maybe they were in a cold phase already, hence the restraining order popping intheir minds.

Is your daughter in therapy? Suffering stalking and abuse ( as I assume she is due to the hot/cold reference) at her age is extremely damaging. Who cares how he will react to a restaining order, either way he is going to continue to prey on her, at least with the restaining order it will send a clear message to him that he has gone too far. True he may not care and even worse it may embolden him but you need to take whatever steps you can to protect her.

They've never been physical to my knowledge. It's a luke-warm phase. It's possible they've sent pictures or video to each other. He lives over a hundred miles away and the relationship is very much something that they only see the "imaginary" version of it.