Question for the N

I'm new to the forum and I have a question. Sorry if this has been asked already. I was involved with someone I believe to be a Narc. I have recently detached from him and when he tried to contact me I basically let him know I have his MO and told him if he wants to have a friendship that is equal where he doesn't control me I am down with that. Of course I have not heard from him since. I also caught him in a lie ( a big one concerning his ex and an aggravated stalking charge) So my question is if he does contact me again what is the best way to handle it in regards to making him feel bad? Do I ignore him?

WRandI2012 wrote:I'm new to the forum and I have a question. Sorry if this has been asked already. I was involved with someone I believe to be a Narc. I have recently detached from him and when he tried to contact me I basically let him know I have his MO and told him if he wants to have a friendship that is equal where he doesn't control me I am down with that. Of course I have not heard from him since. I also caught him in a lie ( a big one concerning his ex and an aggravated stalking charge) So my question is if he does contact me again what is the best way to handle it in regards to making him feel bad? Do I ignore him?

You cannot make him feel bad. However, ignoring him is the closest thing to it.

Since you've caught him as a stalker-don't count on hearing from him ever again. Cut your losses and move on.

You can make an oblivious narc feel bad I think. You need to put their perfect projection to shame. But that will not go towards you making it with him. He will resent it and may even be vengefull I think.

I doubt there's anything you can do to force him to submit to you or even be considered equal if he is true NPD. He could fake it as long as he wants but it will never be so really.

I love my wife but I dont consider her equal. I'm the smartest person in the world.

He just texted me last night. I did not reply. I was considering telling him I know he is not the person i thought he was. That the person I trusted and cared for doesn't really exist. That he is a liar and a manipulator and he needs help. That I worry he will grow old alone and lonely. Bc I do and I feel that would tap into his fears also. I don't know if he is true NPD but he has a lot of the traits.

How do I make him feel bad, the narcissistic swine that he is; but I care for him growing old and lonely.

Haha. Yes, quite a contradiction. I do worry about him. I do want him to feel bad. I don't want him to die a lonely death. Ahhh the cognitive dissonance.

Sounds like a fair dissonance to me. After all, you can't hate what you don't love.

WRandI2012 wrote:He just texted me last night. I did not reply. I was considering telling him I know he is not the person i thought he was. That the person I trusted and cared for doesn't really exist. That he is a liar and a manipulator and he needs help. That I worry he will grow old alone and lonely. Bc I do and I feel that would tap into his fears also. I don't know if he is true NPD but he has a lot of the traits.

Tell him you met someone else and are NOT INTERESTED to see him anymore. Wish him all the best. Never reply to any of his messages. Consider yourself lucky .

Yes. I did adore him. I considered him one of the best friends I'd ever had. I trusted him and he duped me. It's a terrible feeling.

You want a specific answer from us on how to keep him in your life and make him feel bad and repent for the sins upon which he has thrust upon you with his vengeance.

None of this will happen.

It is rather simple. There is no A B or C.

Run, and don't look back. All other actions will result in indifference from him and infliction of additional pain onto you. He came into your life to teach you a lesson about yourself; take that as what you gained from him and move on.

There is no other resolve. That is it. End game.

WRandI2012 wrote:Yes. I did adore him. I considered him one of the best friends I'd ever had. I trusted him and he duped me. It's a terrible feeling.