Dating Someone with Munchausen

Hello,

I really would like some insight on this... I recently met a guy online, literally the man of my dreams, Before we ever met in person ,we talked online for months and found we have the same hobbies, morals, beliefs everything!!! We finally exchanged numbers and texted daily. One eveing he hadnt responded to my texts awhile and I started to worry. He called late in the night and said he was in a head on collision and got a huge puncture wound in his stomach. I felt so bad for him, his car was totaled. When we met in person everything was amazing, he lives 2 hours away so seeing him was hard to arrange but we hung out twice, and then another day went past where he didnt respond... Come to found out he had fallen off a roof at his job!!! He called me and asked to come to the ER. his shirt was off when I arrived and he did not have an open wound from the accident he was in a week before. instead there was a scar. He later told me he had stomach cancer and also once was hospitalized for malnorishment when his exwife left him. Supposedly he also has had 2 heartattacks, he is 34!!! I did and was in the hospital for 2days with him. Once he got back home I stayed with him and the fallowing evening he had chest pains and couldnt breathe, he told me to call 911, we ended up in the emergency room for hours while they did tests, nothing was wrong. The Dr came in and said can I speak freely in front of this woman, He said yes and thats when the Dr said on his history is Munchausen. I dont know if I should continue seeing him, I asked if it was a true life or death medical emergency when I had to call 911 and he said yes. I thought maybe it was an addiction problem because they pump you full of drugs when you go to the hospital, however when we left he never took all the prescriptions he recieved. I am really worried he might be lying about other things since some of his medical history is so shaky. Any advice, comments, questions, general answers would be greatly appricated. THANK U

How long have you known the person? It is awesome that he allowed an open discussion in front of you. After this diagnosis was revealed, were you able to have a conversation with him regarding this or what he is doing to change this or have any discussion about the diagnosis to understand it? Is he in treatment? Was he there for a valid reason in the hospital this last time or 2? Will you be able to trust him? To move forward will you have the ability to be involved with his care?

Someone here may be able to give better advice on long term outcome.

I found out today that a year ago I was diagnosed with this and had no idea. However, my health care has gone on regardless so I can tell you that healthcare or needs still happen. I feel like I don't trust myself now that I know. But perhaps this will make me question more what doctors are doing because I would just do whatever the doctors told me to do - why wouldn't I? Some of my health usage really stemmed after a traumatic issue health wise and then surgery which I need to take the time out and get through as it has had a bigger impact on me than I have admitted to. It has me fearful that there is something bigger going on and I am scared to miss work, miss family, become unreliable so my usage of healthcare goes up. I do recognize in the last year as I was told I have somatic complaints and I understand them better which helps. I wish my doctor had been honest and told me about MBPS so I could change behavior.

Mr. Pink,

I have bad news, your doctor owes you nothing, lol. When the basic lack of honesty is coming from you-don't expect it to go one way.

Try an open, honest, "So you think I have a FD (I prefer Factitious disorder, the Munchausen's stuff sounds so obnoxious and stupid, you know?

Agreed in that doctors, healthcare, or society owes me nothing. FD does sound better in that it does imply imposed on self as opposed to on children. Not sure what they think I am making up as when they diagnosed this I was going through opiate withdrawal in a non medical way. I was struggling and not making that up and also not asking for pain medications or giving a pain score of any type. Not claiming to be a victim. A different experience than that of the person in the forum that knew. The reason I wanted to know was to get treatment but after further reading I see the ethical and legal dilemmas with this that they face. I do have actual health problems.