I am a victim of a Muncher

Dearest Constantinova,

I'm so sorry to hear about your abuse. I would never wish for someone to go through life with a Muncher. I'm also very sorry at the lack of response that you've been getting... I've been running into the same problem.

I was the victim of a Muncher. I am the middle child, with my brothers being a year older and a year younger. I am the only girl. It seems that I was the only victim of MSbP. My older brother may have gotten a very tiny taste as I found pictures of him in glasses and he's never needed them.

I am ready to start dealing with the things that my mother has done to me. I'm 24. My father also abused me sexually, along with my older brother and his best friend (separately). My mother used to make me take baths with my grandmother and made me wash her back... GROSS! My one counselor told me that this was also a for of sexual abuse.

Mine started very young as well. I was 9 months old when things started. I have a post on here that tells my story if you'd like to read it. Or I can put it up here. The name of the post is ADULT SURVIVORS.
I'm here to talk any time!

btw... would love to read/hear about your book (I'd like to know how you made them mesh better)

I'd also like to write a book about my experiences, but I feel that I can't do that until I deal with them...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

It feels like you are the only one who knows about this..............................................

I am also a fellow MBP victim. The b!tch (my "mother") has completely DESTROYED ME! I think that I'm ok .....until I need to go to the Doctors/hospital. Then the trouble begins, so much crap is written about me in my records that I'm treated really poorly and therefore don't bother getting assistance with any pain or complaint.

For me, there were a few incidents similar to what you have described various burns and a car boot "accidentally" slammed on my head, doors etc but in my situation the main ABUSE was psychological. I was also Socially isolated, financially isolated and controlled and manipulated. This still affects me today hugely and has profoundly crushed my potential. It remains to this day that she will never accept what she did and will never accept she needs help. Gladly I haven't seen her for a few years, I hope I never do again. I found out that they sold the house I grew up in over the internet!!!

It is heartening to hear that you are able to share your experiences, despite support from loved ones it's not an experience that can be just "gotten over" and moved on from easily. I am in my twenties and still feel deeply wounded and frustrated.

I complained once about the poor treatment the NHS (as a result of judgement of records) in a particular health board area afforded me but it was all hushed up and the medical staff stuck together and covered up, I was made out to be a liar and troublemaker! The complaints process is so long and dehumanizing that it's almost deliberately that way so people are put off complaining.

You are constantly silently screaming but nobody hears you. These perpetrators have REAL PROBLEMS but don't see it. But they are also very manipulative and difficult to detect. The lies about you (their victim) are so entrenched in their life that they cannot see the damage being caused. They even believe the BS! I even summoned the courage to go to social services to ask to be taken into care at high school - it was to no avail, my "mother" and "father" were highly respected citizens in the local (small town) community. Manipulation killed that " there's no problem here. She's at it again - her behaviour". The social services only sent a letter detailing that I had complained - wise move (NOT!) everything got worse!

Medical records (in Scotland) cannot be changed or even amended unless you go to court.....MBP victims wouldn't be believed anyway. We are the ones with the tarnished and toxic medical records! It angers me so much I feel like I will have a break down, I'm very lucky that she has caught herself out and shown her manipulative side to both my husband (who has always believed and supported me) and also my father in law. She is not welcome near us or our children - this cycle will not continue. I think that 2 people who believe will convince others too.

This woman also destroyed my elder brother too with her mind games and abuse. Sadly he has not got the same support as I do and is often taken in by her and left picking up the broken pieces afterwards. This is a double whammy for both of us as we were both adopted. Bad luck with two crap mothers!

I hope that you find some comfort in letting out some steam. It helps when somebody understands. x

My mother is a muncher. I am her only child. Only when I became an adult, and mental health professional, was I able to properly identify my mother's mental illness. Coping with it is difficult, especially as a parent. I cannot fathom doing this to my children. My mind spins on trying to fully understand so that I can move into forgiveness. But you can't apply logic to the illogical. At first, I tried looking at it from the "victim's" point of view. I choose not to identify as a victim, but rather as a survivor or victor. That perspective, the one of being a victim of a muncher, hasn't worked out so well for me. I moved on to taking a more clinical perspective. It's frustrating. Although all the knowledge is present, I still fail to understand. I am still angry that someone would do this to their own child. The maternal side of my family has a long history of mental illness, which they fail to recognize or acknowledge. I have a maternal aunt with anorexia who stores human hair in her freezer, a maternal uncle who stayed with a woman for 20+ years- despite her multiple attempts to murder him (he slept with a cookie sheet on his chest for years, hoping to give himself some protection from her stabbings), and a maternal grandmother who was delusional at best, sending herself flowers to make her husband jealous, and psychologically abusing anyone who she felt had wronged her, not to mention the gypsy curses she would put on people. These people are nuts! And when confronted about their bizarre behavior or symptoms of mental illness, I am the crazy one and they stop talking to me. Fine by me! It's not a punishment, it's a welcomed vacation. I just struggle daily with accepting the unacceptable. However, I am grateful that I made it out alive.

you sound like you have come out of it pretty well,

I am not sure about the wish to "forgive", I could never go there, the effects of what she did are with me always, it shaped my life

I was angry for many years, very, very angry, not just with her but for the world not caring, but now, luckily I have moved on to simply accept it

I try to be the best dad, husband, I can, I am slowly finding peace

took a long time, a fair intellect and much humour

I wish you luck, but honestly surviving is no mean feat

take care

I don't know if anyone still looks at this forum anymore but if so I am trying to understand better about being the child of a mother with Munchausen. I am 32 years old and my mother has been not only my abuser but somehow an active participant in my life. When I was 2 she gave me an adult dose of insulin which almost killed me. That's when they realized something was wrong. I was removed from the home for 2 years then guess what.....after a stay in charter hospital my mother was released, charges where dropped and yup you guessed it I came back home. My brothers are twins and never got to be " Mommies little patient". I would like to talk to someone. If your still out there. So am i

Welcome. I think this is the quietest forum here which I think is a good thing. Being a MBP child is not an easy thing as the damage is often quite severe and long lasting. The stats I have read is that MBP children are approximately 2 in 100,000 of the general population. So very rare.

Poisoning is the most common, it there in some form in almost every case I have come across but I am always surprised at how creative a Muncher mother can be.

The other stat I can drag out is that the effect of MBP lessons after the child goes to school. Not so in my case or my brothers, but maybe that is because ours was before the term MBP existed and everyone thought mothers caring for sick children were so sweet.

If you wander through the internet you will come across definitions of a MBP mother. I have read this many times, from different sources until I found the original source. It came from a FBI profiler. It is only one type of MBP mother as I know of several that are outside that profile and think that profile fails to home in on what I think is the two main keys in a MBP mother. This has lead to a lot of anxious mothers been accused of MBP. Anxious mother syndrome (my term) and a MBP mother are different. I may be accused of having a bias but real info out there is so small.


I suggest you start your own thread. That way when others come here such as you yourself have done it may be easier to find.

Anyway welcome.

Terry E. wrote:Poisoning is the most common, it there in some form in almost every case I have come across but I am always surprised at how creative a Muncher mother can be.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-19/hunter-valley-woman-faces-court-charged-with-poisoning-daughter/6707950

Fishing-mad wrote:

Terry E. wrote:Poisoning is the most common, it there in some form in almost every case I have come across but I am always surprised at how creative a Muncher mother can be.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-19/hunter-valley-woman-faces-court-charged-with-poisoning-daughter/6707950

Thank you for putting that up. I am in Sydney and it is new here. I just heard on the ABC radio the police have said they have several independent witnesses who will attest to actually seeing what was done. There is also a charge of physical abuse which I will look into as I have seen physical abuse and MBP in tandem at times.

Also the age of 9 is outside the much over relied upon FBI profile that many people over rely upon. I really would love to talk to the police, may be hard but I am sure I can do it after the case has finished.

Follow-up story:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-10-15/mother-charged-with-injecting-genetically-ill-child-with-urine/6857488

I also went through a childhood with a mother who practised MBP. She spent years trying to convince doctors I had syndromes such as EDS and tried to convince them I had hundreds of food allergies, spinal problems and behavioural problems. When the qualified doctors refused to listen after about 5 years, I was shipped off to various cranks and put on all kinds of bizarre medications and other forms of treatment.
She insisted on having me sent to a special unit at school for years, I was constantly removed from schools who questioned her ideas about me and as a result never made solid friendships. When she didn't agree with a teacher questioning her I would be removed from school and kept at home. Unfortunately I was then at the mercy of my violent, abusive alcoholic father for weeks on end, a whole different set of problems.

I have huge problems maintaining relationships both with friends and romantic because I see people being nice to me as mollycoddled and immediately back off as I never want to feel like that again.
I'm working on the effects of all this but you are not alone. Remember, we DID survive and we can, with help and support get through this.