Help!

Hey guys, I guess.

I was ranting in about life being sucky in the general thread in another forum and was helpfully referred to this forum.

I was wondering whether I could have a discussion with anyone in whether I am a sociopath/psychopath (what's the difference)/AsPD guy. As I seem to fit the profile, but I am too scared to go to the doctors, I tried once but I couldn't get myself to try and tell the truth. I kinda want to know the truth.

Can anyone help?

Hello and welcome to the forum.

What makes you wonder if you have AsPD?

basically because I seem to have most of the "traits":

lack of empathy (except for cats
only care for myself
lie 24/7 even to cover up other lies, and even in the face of irrefutable evidence. I have made people trust me enough.
manipulate people. trying to get myself a girlfreind now , failed twice on others but practice makes perfect.
impulsively stay away from society, and hate being social, it seems totally pointless
dont enjoy being around people
too scared to go to the doctors, tried once but couldnt bring myself to say the truth.

Nothing else springs to mind, maybe you have some questions?

Hopefully you can shed light on this, I'd rather be one or not be one, just not unsure

Those symptoms could indicate loads of other mental health conditions also.
Although they are what is listed as specifically the traits for AsPD, I think there is a lot of other things that those symptoms could probably fit into also. Obviously it would be best for you to go to a professional to get a diagnosis as no one can diagnose you here, but I don't think there is any harm in you talking here a bit more to give you a bit more of a capacity to express your symptoms for when you do go.

Ok, so some questions for you:

Why are you afraid of talking to the doctor about it?

What are some examples of you behaving with a lack of empathy?

Do you have any other characteristics or fears or odd behaviours that you are worried about?

Doe it cause you worry to not know if you are AsPD? How often do you think about this concern?

salted lipstick wrote:Those symptoms could indicate loads of other mental health conditions also.
Although they are what is listed as specifically the traits for AsPD, I think there is a lot of other things that those symptoms could probably fit into also. Obviously it would be best for you to go to a professional to get a diagnosis as no one can diagnose you here, but I don't think there is any harm in you talking here a bit more to give you a bit more of a capacity to express your symptoms for when you do go.

Ok, so some questions for you:

Why are you afraid of talking to the doctor about it?

What are some examples of you behaving with a lack of empathy?

Do you have any other characteristics or fears or odd behaviours that you are worried about?

Doe it cause you worry to not know if you are AsPD? How often do you think about this concern?

Sorry, phone ran out of battery, I'll try again

I am scared to go to the doctors because I am afraid of telling him the truth, as he will then be the only person who knows what I'm actually like, I'm just too scared to come from behind my facade of personalities I have for anyone.

Apart from stealing (around £600 in total, and one botched attempt at a credit card), it's only been minor things, like emptying a bottle of coke onto someone, or pushing them into their freinds, and then not thinking to apologise until people prompt me to. Even then I didn't mean it. I think I generally just operate my life with a lack I empathy, I'll never make a choice to help anyone else, I'll always make an egoistic choice, and have lost many "freinds" from voices like this.

I don't think there is anything I'm worried about, i suppose thkugh: I ever feel angry/happy ill bury it because I don't like outward emotions. However sometimes I'll get so angry/sad/ecstatic that it'll overwhelm me and I'll either go close to suicide/rage/über happy. However if any other human shows up, I'll bury the emotions though.

I am not scared of what I am, wherever I am. I am proud of what I am as I deem my mental condition superior to all 'rational' people because I can make choices without emotions, which are naturally better.

Hope this helps

It's good you can be open here to share a bit more about your experiences. Thank you for telling me some of what you feel and have been through. It certainly does sound that you are having some significant problems on the emotional front. It's certainly not good that you mention that sometimes you feel close to suicidal or rageful...

I think to some extent focus on self and lack of empathy to others is in some ways a survival skill, but I'm not sure if this is the case in your situation or not.

For example, when you stole the $600 were you out of work at the time?

Have you ever been picked on for showing outward emotion?

There may be deeper reasons behind your current behaviour I think... It is good that you are looking into it, that is a positive step.

Sorry, should have said I'm 16 .

Indeed here may be deeper reasons. I hab always been solitary since for bee, even in nursery my mum said I sat on my own with my fingers in my ears. Ever since I can remember I have failed to socialise, except with at the most 3 people.

And no, i steal for the thrills, it's good fun, If difficult and dangerous, which why I seem to enjoy it more. The odd thing is, when I'm usually cool and collected when stealing/normal life th second a girl turns up I get all cautious and shy, but I guess that's my age and lack of social life for you.

I should say that when I felt close to suicide, that was when I lost the one (of three) girls I was crazy about (and I mean crazy). I went through a period of extreme sadness when I then considered (not too seriously) suicide, but then emerged in this kind of psycadellic giggling state holding a razor to my hand, happily considering self-harm, then (1 hour later) I went back to my serious self, and wondered whether I wanted to live, quite calmly, but eventually decided against it when I found something I actually enjoyed in life, thank god for that.

I've never been bullied for emotions, only for being 'odd' ie not speaking to anyone. Indonkneonthat usually every time I reveal my true thoughts/emotions, I have stopped being "freinds" with (with two of the girls, They didn't really know me much, so I think I was too fast?)

So this could e more deep, I'm not sure?

Yeah I agree with you that it sounds as if it could be more deep.

Sorry about the time it's taken me to respond by the way, I've been having a really rough time lately...

I'm sorry to hear you got bullied for being a bit socially withdrawn.

I think the more you say, the less I think it is ASPD that you are suffering. This sounds quite different than that.

Have you thought about perhaps looking through some of the other categories of mental health conditions in this forum and seeing if you can relate to any of the groups? Maybe some of the ones that incorporate some of the less sociable traits like Schizoid Personality Disorder, Asperger's, Avoidant Personality Disorder and some others, I can't think off the top of my head right now.

I don't think the stealing seems like that big a deal if you are still in your teens, not in terms of considering it in the context of your mental health. I mean you shouldn't do that and all, but it's fairly normal for that age. Maybe not quite that amount of money but I think most people do some stealing during that time in their life.

Thanks, I'll have a look around.

No worries, you are welcome. I hope you can find some people you feel you can relate to...