Hi

I have been married about fourteen years to someone I am very sure has NPD. We have three children aged 11, 10 and 2. I am also fairly sure that N's mother is an even worse case. My N is beginning to show some understanding of what has been going on but really no empathy for those who have suffered. About two years ago, before I had heard of NPD, I thought she was getting better. In fact the worst was to come. We went on holiday with an another family and through her behaviour the whole thing blew up in her face. On the one hand I don't know how much more I can handle. On the other hand she might be making progress but it is so slow. All I really want is for the children to survive and thrive into adulthood.

Hi, asparagus! It's good if you think she realizes that people are getting hurt, even if there's no empathy there yet. You could insist that she should speak to a good therapist who has experience with this. Maybe she'd make the effort. You could try to have a little therapy yourself. Try posting in the NPD forum too, I hope you find support on this forum!