greetings

Hello, I go by the name am529 on all the sites I'm a member of. I'm 20 years old (though only 7 days away from being 21), and I'm an androgyne (I'm not picky about what pronouns are used to refer to me though).

I joined this site to hopefully try to narrow down the possibilities of what mental disorders I might have. The only things I've officially been diagnosed with are GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and depression, but I know there's more than that. I've grown out of the anxiety over time somewhat (by that I mean it's not nearly as bad as it used to be), but the depression remains (as it has for at least 10 years now) and I've had several other problems too (though I won't go into details on that in this thread).

That's pretty much all I can think of to say for now, but if you have any questions feel free to ask.

Hi,

I have some questions: Firstly, what are you doing in your life right now (working, studying, or another)? It is important to have something to go to each day, as we all know that depression is made worse with nothing to do (or it can even be caused by it). I have come across people in similar situations as you, but you'll probably think that they're much different. The people I've met here were mostly males who feel like females, and one is in fact in the process of getting a sex change. Another question I want to put to you is: Do you have any friends or acquaintances? If so, do they 'accept' you or even know the truth about you? On that note, do you feel as if you cannot talk to anyone about this?

When we feel as if we cannot talk about things - and/or that we cannot express our true nature - then depression and other such things are bound to afflict us, as they seem have done to you.

Kevin

To answer your first question, I've been unemployed for a while so I mainly browse the internet looking for jobs, listening to music, and occasionally researching various topics. Other than that I also play the piano, read, and go on walks.

For your second question, I have a bunch of acquaintances but only a few people I would really call friends. I'm a really paranoid person and I have trouble trusting people (even my own family sometimes). I do have a couple of friends that I sometimes talk to about personal stuff and they seem to be really accepting, but I only get to see one of them in person (once a week). I actually have a pretty hard time expressing myself in words though, so I tend to not talk much unless something is really bothering me (in real life and online).

Which tunes do you play on the piano? If you aren't an expert on it, then just say so. I play the violin, but i'm terrible at it. I need much more lessons. The violin and piano are my favourite instruments, and i sometimes dream about being either a violinist or pianist. What you said in your second paragraph could easily have been an accurate description of me. I'm not an androgene, of course, but it's ammazing how different circumstances in our lives can lead us to having the same mentality (i.e. how different environments can lead to the same oppressed/depressed mental state, as exists in both you and I).

What job would you want to be in?

I'm not really that good, I just play for fun. I've mostly been playing songs that I like from video games. I also play the guitar and bass guitar a little bit (out of the three instruments I'm probably best at bass).

Ideally I would like a job as a pastry chef or just a regular baker, but I have little "professional" experience in either of those fields.

Well, how could you go about becoming a baker or chef?

I'm not sure really, other than going to a culinary school...

That that is what you must do. 'Seize the day', as they say, and try to fulfill all of your dreams. Even if you fail, it is better than never trying.

Kevin