Still Learning!

Hello to whoever reads this

I'm a 26 year old divorcee with a child who lives with her father during the school year, myself during the summer. I live in the isolated small town I grew up in (which I loathe), I work as an admin/finance tech for a local business (boring), and I'm trying to finish my degree (Currently at 139 credits and no bachelors!). I have health issues- Cancer as a child that means that now a large amount of my money goes to medications, dr appointments, etc... Fun stuff. So I'm here for now- just saving money until I can afford to move... and figure out where.

Psychologically... The diagnoses have been varied. I've known I was depressed since before I really knew what the word meant. I just felt different and off and bereft- and my suuuuper religious parents didn't believe in therapy so I waited until I went to college to begin, and I haven't stopped. So- 8 years now! I've been on so many medications that my GP won't prescribe antidepressants for me- she waits until the psychiatrist visits town (yep we are that small) to decide on my meds since she has a list of the ones I've taken. Along with the severe depression is dysthymia and anxiety- but my current therapist thinks the anxiety is in large part due to either PTSD or BPD- she feels that I have PTSD but also believes I fit several of the facets of BPD (attempts to *escape*, ridiculously heightened sensitivity, over empathizing-Not the anger, thank god. Apparently I'm "amazingly not angry" for someone who has been depressed their whole life... yay me?).
My current therapist is the best I've had, and the first to actually get to me. Without her I would be dead- 3 suicide attempts prove that. But I'm at the point where I don't want to die- I want to get better! Which is exciting and scary at the same time because in the last few months my heart has been messing up and I'm seeing a cardiologist soon.. Ugh.

I'm a psychology student. It is my passion, my drive, my focus, and my joy. That and womens studies and fashion Without psychology I wouldn't be alive. A year ago I had a breakthrough- a switch flipped and it was like the fog lifted a bit. Not all the way- I still struggle with every one of my mental illnesses on a daily basis- but lifted enough that I could see that there's light in life. So now I live my life to try to share that... Sounds sappy but it's true.

I'm here because I want to learn more (common reason I know)- both about myself and about others. I want to talk to like minded individuals, and people who won't judge me for my symptoms and flaws. I'm excited to talk to open-minded individuals, and I hope to become very active on the boards. (I live on an island- it gets VERY boring so what else would I do lol).

So- say hi some time and I hope to see you around

Hello FeministFashionista and welcome!

Thanks for your introduction. It sounds like you've been through an awful lot during your life so far. I'm glad you are still with us and have made it to the forum to learn more about yourself and others. It certainly sounds like your journey has taken many twists and turns and I hope it will continue to improve for you.

Certainly you will find quite open-minded, non-judgemental people here because we all have our symptoms and our flaws.

I hope you have an ok time acquainting yourself with the forum (it's pretty big) and that you find it helpful to be here.