Newbie Introductions

I'm Wildflower.

Just coming out of a very long term relationship. He just suddenly left with no warning. Very strong possibility he has been messing with my medications for the last few years...or longer to make me more ill. No, I'm not dillusional, that's one thing I missed out on, thank heavens. Other people caught on to it. Although it was kind of a tip off that two days after he left and didn't give me my pills any more, I was physically better, and have been getting better (mostly) ever since. It's only been a week and a half, who knows how much better I may get. And my doctor is so happy to finally figure out why my symptoms were so all over the place.

I just get lonely. And I thought it would be nice to talk to other people who know what it's like to miss a pill and go to hell. That's not swearing, that's what if feels like.

my name is matt i'm a 16 year old wight kid who is vary polite and compleatly normal but i just have been twisted by all thats happend to me and all my problems started when i was 5 so i never really got a chance to have a life and its not a mental problem i was born with or anything, i just have a really bad life and i'v finaly been pushed to far and i think i'm going to do sumthing drastic. this is whats rong with me: my dad is going to die vary soon, my mother is a golddigger and willing coused mal nutrishion on me, my sister both hates me,is gay, and i cant believe it but she was hitting on me last time i saw her, my parints are seporated and my dad cant get devorced or my mom will turn him in to police for things that are really couse of my mom and he will get tossed in jail for years, i am bi sexual and have taken intrest in things that you only know about in nightmares and i hate myself for it, i have never gone to school couse my mom keept me out of it and prevented me from doing anything at all litorily for my intire life up till now when i told her to fo and i went to live with my dad, this is the ferst year i have ever gone to school and i'm in 9th grade and i cant even do division and thay wunt me to do palagorithum theory and crap, i have HADD and evoryone hates me at school and evorywhare els. ok thats the start of crap thats rong with me (tip of the iceberg) and now your gunna start hateing me and saying i desurve all this for whats next as awase. i HATE america. i hate evory thing about it. its false freedom, its egnorent people, how thay all give pity to evoryone and do nothing, its lost since of justice, its religion, its corrupt power scheem of officals that prevent the comman man to ecomplish anything in life. i also am a agonstic thats heavily on the athiest side of things. i know for a fact i'm not delusional about anything and i also have real thoughts of world domonation becouse i know that if no one does anything to stop polictal correctness, the rulers of the world, wasting of are own resorces that we need to exist and all this $#%^ then the world will really die. i'm going to stop here becouse my dad is yelling his ass of at me and taking out all his proplems on me agian but i cant blame him, he got brain damage from 2 car accedents and cant walk or see and is alwas in pain so i have to take care of him. agian this is just the tip of the iceberg so i can talk in just about any form here so sorry if i seem a little acsesive but i cant take anymore of anything and livings got me down. i'm thinking about sucide. help

Well, gray, I'm sorry you have it so tough. I for one don't hate you. But for what it's worth, just being 16 has been really awful for most of us, so you are normal there. Yes, you are going to stand out, and you are going to be picked on something terrible. That doesn't mean they hate you, they are just mean suckers to everyone. Try not to get too bent out by them, they usually grow up to have worst lives than those of us who are at least trying to handle our problems without hurting others.

You need help kiddo. I hope someone here can tell you how to get a responsible adult to get you what you need. If not, call a child abuse hot-line. You don't have to tell them who you are, just ask them where to go to get help.

My daughter has a severe learning disablilty, and with help she managed to get by it. She's smart, just ADHD. You need special classes, and for heaven sakes, hasn't anyone noticed you haven't been educated? Go to the school councilor. Use some of that anger to save yourself. Don't take no for an answer, there is always someone out there to help kids with exactly your problems. Go to the ADD board here, they will probably have some ideas.

Yeah, you have a #######5 life. I know people who had worse, really. So what? You can make it get better. Then the jerks who are bugging you now will be trying to suck up to you, and that's kind of fun. You must want a better life, if you found here. You must be a heck of a strong person. Don't give up, you'll miss the next chapter, and it's bound to be better then when you were younger and more helpless. Going to school means you have to deal with jerks, but it also means you have an easier time contacting people who can help you.

Congrats on getting away from your mom. Toxic mom's are the worst. Wish I could help, but right now, I'm one of the wounded. But hey, you know at least ONE person who doesn't hate you.

Hello.
I can't stop reading this site. I have some problems, surely not like some posters here, but things I won't talk to my husband about, which makes me think these things really are problems.
Lately I have been taking some valerian root to relax and help me sleep, and wow! what a difference that makes. Anyone else have experience with it? In particular, like most "drugs" will this beneficial effect not be as pronounced when I am used to it - tolerant?
I have posted in SI topic. Spend way too much time on the computer. Need to get away form interesting subjects here and do some christmas presents! *kicks self in ass*

I have been browsing this website for quite a few months. I recently became a member, so I am a newbie introducing myself after the fact.

This website is so huge. I was previously concentrating on the social phobia and avoidant personality disorder forums. Then I noticed this topic for making introductions.

I am female and 48 years old. I have felt different from most people all of my life. I spent most of my childhood doing things with my brother who is one year younger than I am. I only have brothers. I occasionally played with a few girls in my neighborhood growing up. I never felt a connection with anyone. I have been a follower all of my life until just recently. Despite being a follower, I find myself not conforming to what is normal behavior for females. I do not wear skirts and dresses. I find them to be uncomfortable. I do not wear high heels. I do not know how anyone can walk in them. I do not wear makeup. I think that women should be accepted for their natural appearance just as we accept how men look naturally.

I have never been comfortable talking to people. I always think that I am saying the wrong things. Sometimes I do not even know what I am supposed to say. My mind imagines that people are talking about my poor conversation skills behind my back. I do not even feel comfortable walking. I feel that there are many people watching (even if I cannot see them) and laughing at how funny I walk. I am not graceful. I am 5' 10" tall (about 1.77 m). I was probably taller than the boys in 6th grade, so I was the target of teasing by them. For three years, I was called dog, sow belly, pork future, and they barked at me. I was not overweight, but I thought I was. Especially since they said such horrible things only to me and not to the other girls. I never told on them. I was afraid that I would be punished for being a tattle-tale. I just endured it and believed it.

I thought all was fixed when a man was willing to marry me. I did everything that he wanted me to do, but I ended up not feeling loved. Now, I believe that love is just another four-letter word. It is a useless word to me. I do not believe that any relationship is worthwhile. All of my experiences with friends left me feeling used. My brother even borrowed money and never paid it back. I vow to associate with no one until I die. I want to stay in my apartment. I am safe here. I have to eat, so trips to the grocery store are anxiety-ridden.

I have worked at the same place for 14 years during the night shift. For the last 7 years, I have had a position in which I work at a desk by myself auditing documentation. I know my priorities, and I set my own tasks in order to satisfy the goal. I have some interaction with people, but work is kind of like my second domain since I have been there so long. If I go to any other locations in the world, I feel vulnerable and unprotected.

When I was in my marriage and in the one relationship that came after my divorce, I felt as if I had a portable turtle shell with me. I did not feel as much anxiety when leaving my home as I do nowadays.

I finally get to do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it. I just wish it hadn't taken so many years for me to get to this point. My life is already over; I missed my chance to do it right. I am no longer upset by being alone. I would like to change my perception of myself though. I would like to stop worrying about what other people are thinking about me. If I could only perform everyday tasks that involve leaving my shell without trauma, I would finally be happy.

Viking,
Have you checked out the agoraphobia board? Believe me, you will be perfectly normal there! Also sounds like you have anxiety disorder, I have both those things (and more) and felt exactly like you describe yourself.

Your life isn't over, and there is no way to do life "wrong". Three months ago, I had trouble going just stepping out the door to feed my animals. After the ex left, I had to. Have to go shopping. Had to have a person at the grocery store help me shop, although I'd been in there with my ex many times.

I can't say it's easy, but it does get better. Knowing you don't need a man in your life to make you happy is a huge step forward. I don't know about you, you are a bit younger than I am, but I was taught by society from birth on that I had to be with a man. I know that's not true now, but I'm still having trouble breaking the mind set.

hello everyone,

i'm a 45 yr. old man living in nyc. i have been disabled by mental illness since 1994, i live on ssi.
hospitalized 5 times about a month each time. last time was october 06.
diagnosed with major depression at first, adult adhd, an undiagnosed learning disability, borderline personality, anxiety, bipolar, narcissistic personality, schizophrenia...
i don't understand how i could have all these things.
i take a handful of meds 3 times a day. i'm tired and uninterested in most things.
i do obsess over this guy i dated for 2 months. can't stop thinking about him. he is my only concern and how to get him back. he stopped seeing me when i was hospitalized because i was so obsessed with him i started to freak out.
i am trying to get better, i want to go back to work one day and have an enjoyable life with someone but things are really disorganized right now.
i look forward to reading and interacting with others here and did notice people are much more compassionate here than on craigslist. that is where i started to seek communication with others.

thank you for allowing me to post.

Not really a newbie but anyways:

Im a 21 year old man from scandinavia.
Im of schizoid personality (schizoid personality "disorder"), meaning that I almost always prefer solitude and have no interest in getting friends and relationships or achieve anything at all in life. Also suspect that I got dysthymia (mild chronic depression that lasts for months and even years) and alexithymia (true emotional coldness).

Got a very repulsive and anti-social personality that no one likes, am extremely misanthropic, hate people because they are dumb, close-minded, predictable and primitive. Don't respond to praise, but takes criticism very personally. The only people I have some feelings for are my closest family, and 1-2 persons from elementary school/high school who I have known for 11-15 years.
I don't have friends, nor girlfriend - and have no secret desire for any of that. It's not because I get social anxiety (coz I dont get that) it's because Im not INTERESTED in people. I can not imagine myself living with a girlfriend, or having one in my life at all - but I do have some kind of "hope" for finding a soulmate, even as my logical brain displays the odds as 1:1x10^(eternity).

I hate all forms of work and responsibility, and would prefer to live a life alone, doing nothing but what I like most: Playing computer games, surfing the web, watching movies, reading books and doing drugs.

That is my life, and I am dying it... one second at a time.

Hey,

I'm Jack. I am 18 years old and live in the UK.

I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder along with Borderline Scizophrenia. Although I suffer from these mental illnesses I am usually am a normal chap.

I love poetry - I write absolutley loads! I am also in love with theatre in every form (many people assume I am gay because of this). Also, I love to go out with my friends who accept me for who I am which is great. I think that's about all I have to say at the moment.


Also, I am in love with this - - smiley, I use it often.

Hi, I'm new.

And... something about myself? Huh. Let's see...

I'll be 21 years old at the end of the month. I have a Boderline Personality Disorder and depression, among other things. I came here because I've been feeling really alone, lately.

I don't know what else all to say...

Jenni