Newbie Introductions

Hello, everyone! My name is Piano~Phantom, but you can call me Rachel.

I recently visited the doctors for back pains when my mother brought up some other issues I don't want to go into detail about, but the doctors think I am OCD (I keep telling them I'm not, but I think the only reason why I say that is because I don't want to have any kind of disorder), ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), and to top it all off: they think I'm schizophrenic.

I'm seeing a shrink soon for it though I absolutely hate them just because I don't like feeling like I'm some amoeba squished under a microscope lense for those to look at and examine, not to mention the feeling of always being watched and having to watch my body language to make sure I don't show how I'm feeling. And I hate any type of exposure and having to admit to certain things no one else but myself knows.

Any how, I'm really just here to learn more about these disorders and stuff to widen my knowledge and do some self-checks to see how likely it may be that I have any of the above said.

Bleh. I'm certain you all will learn more about me in due time, but that was just a basic briefing on why I'm here which is the only thing I feel like I ought to say.

P.S. The username comes from the fact that I always feel like there's some kind of ghost downstairs with me when I play piano that some how plants thoughts in my mind to make me play certain notes and chords (this is how I compose most of my original pieces, which I like quite well). I can make some beautiful songs and tunes downstairs, but on my upstairs piano... it just sounds like a normal person playing a normal song on a normal piano.

Hello everyone I was diagnosed with PTSD, GAD/PANIC, MAJOR DEPRESSIVE disorder some years
ago. After much denial entered into the long process of medication guinea pig and various different
therapies that progressed from one to another for 10 years I found myself understanding and working
very hard to overcome some very hard issues in my life. For 5 years I was managing my disorders
to the best of my abilities and doing fairly well. I'll never be 100 % but I have accepted that and know
I cannot stop my meds nor my day by day work to stay better; However, now I have been diagnosed
with Borderline personality disorder with dissociative tendencies. I do not understand this disorder
as it seems to have many variants. They will be adding something to my meds, but don't know what
yet. I am here to gain more insight into this disorder and looking to join the BPD group. Hopefully I
can find some answers and in turn offer my support and friendship to those in need. Take care.
Warm regards...lin

Hello all,

My name is Jacob, I'm a twenty five year old from New Zealand. I've been diagnosed (multiple times) with depression of some form or other. A little over six months ago I met a girl called Marie, who is a mere twenty years of age, but is superbly charming and beautiful. She is very supportive and understanding, and has been helping me to turn things around.

There was always something different about Marie, like she lived in a slightly different world than me. She's easily distracted, but still caring and attentive, she's been lonely and... Like me, she's had a lot of metaphysical and existiential questions. Is this real life? Who am I?

While browsing the "psychosis" page in the information leaflet from my latest psychiatric nurse, Marie said "Hey, I hear voices that say all those sorts of things!". Is my girlfriend psychotic?
You can put a lot of ticks in that box but at the end of the day the answer is fundamentally a "no", in my humble and lay opinion. She's a big dissociator, and it turns out that she is experiencing something which looks a lot like the Western culture's label "Dissociative Identity Disorder".
She hasn't been diagnosed with anything at all, so officially there is nothing "wrong" with her or anything like that. Frankly, if she had DID then there would be something very very right with her

BUT

Being depressed, I have a lot to work through. Worrying about my girlfriend gives me a way to escape, in a way. I can focus on somebody else's "problems" and my own go untended. That is something that my therapist and psychiatrist have agreed that I need to work on, but I knew it all along.
Still, I need to know what's instore. I can't play boyfriend and therapist at once, but I do need advice, if it will give me some peace. With some luck you might help her as well as me, but of course I have to look out for number one :p

IFF I stick around, I'll be posting mostly in the DID section probably.
I've no internet access at home, but I hope to be a fairly decent user.

For now, what I want for her, is:
1) My support for her
2) Help in finding the best place for our interpersonal boundaries
3) A few less surprises in my life I like to know what's coming.

OK SO

tl;dr: I don't know who I am, and I live with a girl who knows that she's more than one person at a time.


~~~~Jacob

Jacob,

In my opinion - and based on what you've written - I also don't believe she is psychotic. Also, as I understand, dissociative identity disorder (DID) is known as multiple personality disorder in Europe (and DID in the US). It is amazing how people end-up in such a state, and it is terribly difficult to help them if you are not 'in tune' with that DID mind. We actually have a moderator here - Mr. Bates - who has DID and is the only one who handles the DID forum here. Perhaps you should take a look there and/or send him a PM.

Kevin

lol wow a place where i actually fit in lmao .......hey everyone ....i hope this site is still actively used , id love to get to know other people , in the same unfortunate circumstances of messy head syndrome lol , I've struggled with mental health and anorexia nervosa for the past 19yrs ....funky Dora I've never actually calculated the period ....I'm 33yrs of age now , I've been in denial for too long , i guess I've refused to accept i have an ISSUE/s ....career breakdown,failed relationships,loss of support systems , family and friendships have brought me to the stage of life I'm at now ...where I'm saying enough is enough , i need to ask for help , instead of pretending one day ill wake up out of this nightmare and everything will be honky dory .....its never happened yet .....asking for help is such a scary prospect for me ...the thought of opening up honestly to the medical team and being labelled is frightening . , missing out on love,friendship and a fulfilling life isn't a sacrifice I'm making anymore . I'm now at a point in life where I'm dwelling on the fact if id asked for help earlier maybe my life would be somewhat different now . but hey i guess its never too late ....I've joined this site to offer support and hopefully be supported in my journey of recovery .....recovery lol ....my hopes are to be able to control the anorexia and not let it control me and destroy my life any further .....i look forward to making new friendships via this site and smiling again whilst i go though this journey .

thank-you to the people who created this site best wishes to everyone and don't be shy , send moi a hi lol

Hi

Am new.
Not comfortable to say much yet but want to say at least something.
Diagnosed PTSD and DDNOS

Hello, this is my first post here and i see there are so many places here to post on that I can relate to.

I don't know where to begin.

I am a 42 y.o. woman. I will call myself Jane.

I sought help online last year because I was abused (not going in to detail) by my local mental health system. I have been thru and up and down and high and low thru therapy (conventional). I see there is an "Anti-Psych" forum on here and I think that's the first one I will browse thru. I am glad I am not alone in my feelings about the "system" and conventional treatment.

Since I was 5, I have had a couple of mental illnesses, but I am coming to know that my primary one is ptsd. My mind is open in that I may also have clinical mental depression/anxiety disorder, however, treatment has not worked.

so here I am.

I need help but I am not happy with my treament options (due to financial as well as the natures of my illnesses). I run into stigma and bigotry even in treatment!

I find I get more support and more results from groups.

Esp. groups run by ourselves.

that's all for now.


I am also a person who enjoys her life---music and comedy and nature and romance.

Iamnotmyillness

cheeky2701 wrote:thank-you to the people who created this site best wishes to everyone and don't be shy , send moi a hi lol

You can thank one man for that - seanatal. To the other two - Iamnotmyillness and gwilly - you both mentioned PTSD in your posts, so maybe you can share stories or something. Iamnotmyillness, that anti-psych forum attracts spam a lot too, so you might want to filter-out all of that from your mind. I think they're just trying to take advantage of the negative feelings people have for psychiatry in general (which are usually justified). Then again, if you notice no spam there, then it has most likely been wied by myself or another admin.

Kevin

Hello, my name is Claudia and I am a 57 yo lesbian living in Santa Rosa, CA. I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember and began anti-depressant therapy in my early 30s, with varying results. Tried many drugs from 1985 on. Prozac helped for awhile, but then stopped working for me. Thoughts of suicide have been my constant companion, especially since my own alcoholic father took his life when he was 59 yo. I am now using Lexapro and feel functional most of the time. I sought talk therapy in 1995 when I finally admitted the extremely dysfunctional patterns in my life and stayed in therapy for about a year. Although no professional has told me that I am a borderline, I know that I am. I am a sober alcoholic as well.

Fortunately, I was able to retire in 2005, so the living hell of dealing with job stress and people stress ended. When I was working, my stress caused paranoid ideation and chronic rage, in addition to my usual depression and anxiety. I have a 12 year relationship that is working for both of us. However, I still battle perfectionism and chronic anger.

Lately we have been doing extensive landscaping and the stress of dealing with contractors has caused me to fly into rages that I control with the greatest of difficulty. At those times, I immediately start researching suicide by overdose, which calms me down because I know there is certain relief there.

However, many years ago I promised my dear Helen that I would not end my own life. This causes resentment on my part, because I remain alive only to save her from being alone and suffering the pain of my suicide. Thanks for being here.

Claudia, I took Lexapro for a period of ~4 years and it helped a lot- very much so. Please stay on it until you feel ready to come off, or even just stay on it 'forever' if you think it'll help. Have you any plans for the future? The depression mighht always be there with you - I must admit - but accepting this might give you ther strength to continue living life despite it. I mean, instead of waiting around for things to get better, just try to get on with things anyway, despite the depression. i'm not sure if I am making sense to you here. I am 27 and therrefore you must surely much more life experience than I, so if it feels like I'm talking nonsense, then tell me.

You are nowhere near the first person I know who is keeping everything together because of another person - i.e. Helen.

Kevin