I NEED TO DELETE EVERYTHING! Please read, please help

I know this is a lot to ask, please hear me out.....

Last week, I voluntarily went to the emergency room because I felt capable of killing myself. I was put on a 51/50 hold, and was sent to a psych ward.

I was desperate for help, and felt like I needed to be watched by professionals.

Long story short, I ended up witnessing MAJOR negligence that lead to my roommate nearly dying (it's very possible she could be dead, I'm praying she's ok) and shortly after, I began to have Tardive Dyskensia like symptoms due to a medication they gave me. They refused to treat me for my symptoms, and nearly kept me there on a 52/50. Luckily, I was able to persuade them and got out alive and went to the emergency room to be treated for my symptoms.

I know most psych wards don't have a good rep. But that doesn't mean that negligence and abuse should be swept under the rug. Plus, the place I went to has a rep for being "one of the better places" (I should note that they had some MAJOR scandals over the last 10 years). If the place I went to is considered "the best" I shudder to imagine what the alternatives are like. And regardless, what they did to me and my roommate was NOT ok.

I should also note, right after I got out, my phone began to have MAJOR issues. Confirmed today it was hacked. I realize it could be coincidence, but due to the fact that I had to surrender my phone when I went in, I suspect that they somehow messed with my phone, because they viewed me as a threat (I made sure to write down as much as I could, initially for my mental health and to pass the time, later to document my roommates neglect, and my neglect).

So basically, I'm going to make a formal complaint, get a lawyer, and take them down. If suing them doesn't work, I'm going to lead a protest. I would also like to write an expose and make a documentary about my experiences there, and about mental health in general.

Something has to be done.

So, because of all of this, I have to cover my tracks and delete anything and everything that could be used against me, because I know they will go there. It REALLY sucks because psych forums has been a safe haven for me, during my times when I needed to vent, ask questions and bond with others that shared my woes. It truly pains me that I have to do this. But I need to cover all my bases.

I truly feel that I ended up at that Hell Hole for a reason. This is more than what I experienced and witnessed my 3 days there. I'm looking at this as an opportunity to bring awareness to the basically non existent mental health care system in America. This is an opportunity to end the stigma of mental illness in society. This is an opportunity to bring down every corrupt Doctor, health care facility and ward that continues to abuse patients on a daily basis.

This is not really about me, this is about everyone who struggles with mental illness, or knows someone who does. I am willing to go into battle, put my reputation and life on the line, in order to make significant change. I plan on using psych forums as a tool to bring this $#%^ hole down and start a real movement. I plan to do this under a different account name when the time is right, but first, I need to clean house.....

Feel free to comment to this post, any input would be helpful. I realize it may appear I'm asking for special treatment, but I am in a desperate position. I know the mods have the power to help me, and after I post this I'm going to message psych forums and make my plea.

This isn't about me, this is about the entire community. I will fight this fight even if it kills me, but I can't do it completely alone. If someone here is willing to take pity on me, I will be forever grateful.

Forget it. I realize I'm ###$. They have the upper hand. I'm going to retrieve my records from that $#%^ hole tomorrow so I have extra back up (as far as my mental health goes) and just be done with it.

This is beyond heartbreaking for me.

I very possibly let an innocent person die. I could have had permanent damage from this whole experience (the meds). I guess I should feel lucky I came out somewhat intact.

I'm sorry for causing a scene. This entire ordeal has been terrifying for me, and the reign of terror is not over. I know if I pursue this, at the very least they'll slander, blackmail me and frame me. At the worst, they may kill me or the people I love.

I'm so ######6 upset right now. I went to get help, and am now dealing with the aftermath of the trauma and now dealing with scare tactics.

I feel like I'm in a ###$ up psychological thriller. I wish this was fiction

I don't think they have the power to take counteraction against you like that. I mean, if this facility has been in major scandals over the past decade as you say, this ought to be the nail in their coffin. I don't mean to sound like I'm saying that anything your saying isn't true, I believe it, honestly. And I won't pretend to know more about it than you do. I'm just saying that it sounds like they completely violated your human rights, and probably many others' to, and even as corrupt as the judicial system in this country really is, shedding light on it should be their death.

Of this facility you speak of, do you know if there's any history of them blackmailing, or taking some kind of legal action against their own patients?

Thank you caughtinafray, I appreciate your response.

Here's the thing, a little background. *mod edit* Geraldo Rivera did a brief segment on them and their negligence, and their Yelp page as well as Glassdoor page (basically Yelp for Employees) is basically 90% negative reviews. I realize that you can't believe everything you read on the web, but it's pretty easy to weed the trolls and cry babies from the real reviews. And when there's THAT many bad reviews, you can't ignore it. It's not like it's a 50/50 concensus. And of course, plenty of articles have been done on the negligent deaths, suicide and rape that occured there, amongst other things.

I should also note this place is also a drug rehab. I will be completely honest, due to my family history of drug addiction and alcholholism, I have made sure to over all steer clear of substances. I rarely drink and have only dabbled in drugs. The only thing I have used on a regular basis is marijuana. I will admit that I did use marijuana a bit too often over the years, but it helped me deal with my anxiety and numb me from my past traumas. It's not like I was smoking crack. So I was not there for drug abuse, only mental health reasons.

Basically, after this whole thing happened, I was in revenge mode (starting to come down from that, now that I'm realizing how dangerous it all is). I began researching the hell out of this place, came across the Gerlado interview with the two parents who's kids had died of negligence. One of the parents is a BIG TIME lawyer in Southern California. I called his law offices and reached out. His secretary asked how I knew about his son, and I told her it was due to the Gerlado interview. She transferred me to his direct line, and his personal assistant picked up. She was very honest with me. One, she admitted that they tried to take them down when the Lawyer's son died, and they got nowhere, and said that the law office has attempted to fight other former patients like me, and got nowhere. She also noted that it is very much a triggering topic for this lawyer, and that his partner usually ends up taking on the related cases because of that reason. She took down my name and number and said his partner would contact me today.

I have yet to near back, granted, with my phone issue, certain calls and texts I make to people has been "not going through". Numerous calls I've made to my Dad since the whole ordeal have not gone through. Suspicious, at the very least. So who knows, they may have already called me :/ but I don't know how much that matters anyway.

Also, I know this place will pull $#%^ out of their ass if I try to go to court. I'll admit that there were certain things I did while there (for my mental and psychical health) that could easily be used against me, without making up lies. I had my reasons for my actions at the time, but realize now it will bite me in the ass...... I would explain further, but I've already rambled enough.

Anyway, thanks to all who read this. I feel so lost and confused right now.

Relating to the original request. I'm afraid we can't delete entire posts in this way. We can make small privacy edits. For example, removing someone's name. But not change the content substantially.

I'd also note that all posts on the site are search engine archived anyway. So for the purpose of avoiding legal issues. I don't think even deletion would help. Since the archives will still retain the original content. And we have no control over that.


I do have one alternative idea, though it may not help. And will PM you about that separately.

I appreciate your help, Ada. I got your message. I will consider the suggestion.

I apologize for acting so erratic. It's been complete Hell.

I am willing to give compassion. I want to say I am so sorry you had to go through this at no fault of your own. It was not fair and no human being deserves to go through such an ordeal. Being the moderator of the Anti-psych forum and also knowing many others with MH issues over the years I can say without doubt you are not the only one. Many people including myself have been subjected to horrific experiences when we were at our most vulnerable point in existence.


The first step is being able to talk about it while sharing your story with others. Stories like this are read, heard and understood by others who went through the same. In the past far fewer people spoke up when injustice took place out of fear of not being believed; however that is changing. People are listening and voices are being validated. Forget what any institution or doctor may think. The fact you are willing to speak up is all that matters.

Also, don't be afraid or ashamed of what you did there to remain sane and healthy. Its a normal, sane reaction, to an insane problem. Any single person in an abusive environment will act out in order to survive. I know because I have done the same myself. Can such be used against you? Possibly, hence why so many corrupt institutions get away with treating people poorly first place. Fortunately both sides of chicken vs egg argument can be presented.


I agree with Ada regarding the ability to delete. Unfortunately, we rarely if ever delete posts for a variety of technical reasons. And while I can't give you legal advice, my advice to you is don't give up, no matter what. I believe you, and you certainly deserve to be heard One day justice will be served.

Thanks, everyone who has listened, given advice and input. It's much appreciated.

I'm going to start by making a formal complaint, and then hitting up the journalist who was investigating this institution.

At the very least, I need to raise awareness.

You have my full support. Good luck!