This week has felt like a waste to me. Sick sinc last weekend-ish, gave into anxiety on a Tuesday,missed both my in person classes before the mid-term net monday, would like to drop an online course where I hadnded in a lackluster 2nd assignment and I remind myself how "I'm only human" when I can't get thru 2 courses in one month-- =_= then again I'm a c---y student by default it seems.
I almost forgot about ~3-ish ppl I would like to see lest I can no longer say goodbye,most esp. first to the older brother and then the younger sisters.
The "source" of the lashing on Tuesday,those voices of stuff which has congested me for almost half my life now was unleashed and those flppers will dissipatate soon.
=_= Look life, I may be a whiny a--- autistic who is now "annoying" not so much b/c of loudness but b/c he almost only says negative things and/or talks about himself but d--- it >_< !. For once will you actually "send someone my way" who's actually sympathetic to me and whom I'm comfortable-ish around?. If I'm "meant" to be a melancholic ---I think someone yelled at someone "shut up" today to someone who
shouldn't be yelled at b/c he has an impairment..just maybe '~'--could you plz unambigiously say so =_= ?.
<D--- it I imagined that last paragraph in Patrick Warburton's voice--- Dx gah!, the different treatment ppl get when different nicer sounding voices are around-- =-= IT IS important and makes an impact d-- it!,all you old shnocks who think consideration for sensory-behavioral stuff is garbage! =_= .>
There's a friggin reason why ppl "rot" into staticness when there in there 30's and 40's life!. It's b/c they think it's "destiny"--it's "the inherent underlying structure of reality" reached at with no further relevant changes for them!. Yth did you miss out on not putting mirror neurons in me D:< !.
Don't tell me my sense of humor is angry,shouty and obsessive but flip knows it "doesn't match" on "both sides of the tongue" (speaking English AND Spanish) and the different emotionality I seem to get off it. H--- if I was in a place where "both sides of the tongue" was WAY more common =_= *cough* a SW state *cough* would you let me be in terms of being "normally" sociable?.
....

I'm gonna be honest what this I think boils down to is revealing to the girl I first liked the reasons I left the first high school--a sufficient enough "system cleaning" esp. about the math teachers, comparative social ambience and her (~
unwitting? =_= ) amplification of the anxiety I went thru ....
frig >_< I can imagine right now a cla mor of ppl saying "your trying to blame her" . NO I'M NOT >:( !. I'd like to say how like ~1/2 "the struggle" was me even *deciding* if I liked her b/c goodness how emotional clarity was even scarcer for me back then >_< among all the ignoring of my feelings I got!.
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=_= Factor man!.
The dumb shick you put up with when most of your life is pondering "what is being?" b/c goodness knows how most ppl so
s---k =_= at providing *satisfying* philosophy for an angry a-- 5 yr autistic!.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_DV9b0x7v4`u` Man I'd like to see a irl version of such a video.