How do you feel today?

What sort of things did he get up to? I have a fascination with aircraft, but mainly civil aircraft.

Thanks Titus

Chuck, I've been watching the first season of House. It's pretty awesome. If you don't know it you should definitely check it out.

I'm doing good today. Don't need the painkillers anymore because it doesn't hurt. The brace is really annoying though because it's hard to sit.

Chucky wrote:What sort of things did he get up to? I have a fascination with aircraft, but mainly civil aircraft.

When he joined the Air Force, his primary occupation was Aerospace Maintenance working with B-52s and KC-135s, he's been in charge of a squadron with the AWACS (We were supposed to get stationed in Alaska about 12 years ago but his orders got canceled, he would have been working with the that up there too. I got stationed up there on my first assignment and my dad was envious of that :p), he's been in charge of a wing that maintained the B-2s and A-10's, he's deployed and oversaw a unit that maintained the B-1s and also KC-135s. There are probably a few aircrafts I don't remember but those are the ones that stick out. I don't know if you know how the USAF works but as you go up through the ranks you don't really follow the path you started, you can have secondary occupations and such also. He's done a lot of work supervising squadrons, groups of squadrons, mentoring people of all ranks and he always wanted to have an impact on people especially young airmen, It gets to be just a leadership role as you go higher. Everything is micro-managed. At the end of my dads career he was working on this base as the person in charge of figuring out how to cut costs and raise efficiency. I think very highly of my parents, and after tonight going to the retirement ceremony and then the dinner party/roast, I've come to the realization that I'm everything my dad isn't. I dropped all my values when I left home, I guess that's because I didn't have to live with disappointing them. It's a good realization, because right now I feel like I'm not worthy to be in my family, I have a lot to do when I go back to Alaska. I HAVE to make something of myself before I come back home again. That and seeing him with some of his best friends that he has known for 20+ years, I can only hope to have people that good in my life by the time I'm his age. I need some good people, right now everything I know is plastered with trouble...

Hammer, I can easily sense the pride in your words for your dad. Based on what you've said he got up to, I think anyone would be proud. I don't know most of the airplanes you mentioned though (because my interest is in civil aviation). I'm sure that your family are already proud of you though. We can each excel in different walks of life. Whatever walk of life you're in, make sure you enjoy it. If you don't, then change to a different path and excel at that.

en_causa_sui, I have no idea what 'House' is. I do'nt watch much TV at all. If I injured myself, I'd probably just go sit in a library for the day, or listen to music on the computer. Good luck to you my friend. I shall be thinking of you.


Kevin

I feel a high level of irritability. I think this is because I went out into the world today for a long time, around other people, for the first time in a month. I cannot stand being out and around people. This month I have refused to go out to eat with my father, refused to go shopping with my mother, and have only gone to doctors appointments and therapy. I don't want to go anywhere. I think I will hibernate for life.

@Chucky, Yea my parents are proud of me and will support me in whatever I want to pursue. I don't think I've done enough for myself yet though, actually I know I haven't done enough for myself. I know if I don't succeed I can fall back on my parents and they will keep me afloat. I need to think that I don't have anyone to fall back on for help like the rules I used to follow, I used to be very self sufficient, that part of me got erased when I joined the Airforce since everything was about teamwork and wingmen.

I feel great, I've been drinking at a bar in town. At first it was a boring night, but then I saw a friend from highschool I havent seen in almost 7 years. I said what's up to him and he couldn't believe I was back in town. He took me into the other side of the bar where a group of our highschool classmates were playing beer pong. We all had an awesome night. Me showing up out of no where, another classmate coming from california and getting wasted, then running off with a jacket on the coat rack and a cup of rum and coke (no open containers outside bars in this town), the door man tried to call him back, we all called for him but the doorguy was like ###$ it and walked back, we tried to call him over to us but he chucked his cup on the ground and just started booking it, we don't know where he's at right now. lol it was a good night all together.

Kevin wrote:...but you're free to do what you want in this world. We shouldn't feel so depressed. If you're cold, put on something warm; if you're hunry, then eat. If you do'nt feel like showering, then don't. If you want to say ###$, then say it. Why do we always feel that we must do things we don't want to? Don't listen to anyone (except me in this post... ...) and do what you all want to. I'm 'tired' of feeling depressed.

I think it's because our happiness so often relies on the approval we get from our significant others that life often feels so inescapably demanding. In my case, it's my wife's approval I usually seek and I fear I that I might loose if I did what I've wanted to do, to stop caring and lose my job. I've talked to her about that possibility, and she's willing to live through it, but if I know her well at all, she won't be happy about the consequences. Despite the fact that my wife and mother get along so well and I love my mother, I dread living with her, which is the likely consequence if I can't provide some sort of steady income.

Anyhow, I took a 4-day weekend starting Friday, and that's really helped me to calm down. My wife and I had a great Valentines/President's Day weekend. I'm feeling pretty good today. I can breath more easily, I've slept better, the psychosomatic symptoms I've been feeling lately have greatly diminished. I got to release a bit by letting out my creativity at a local crafts place that my wife and I went to together on a date. Lots of fun!! The week is still young. I'm a bit anxious that I'll start feeling like crap again before too long, but, while I can, I'm enjoying myself a lot.

Today I feel like a slow jazz song...
Sad, beautiful and slow... and hardly noticed.

S3 wrote: I've talked to her about that possibility, and she's willing to live through it, but if I know her well at all, she won't be happy about the consequences.

I understand that thinking, because I have it too. I mean, if I had my way, then I'd lock myself in one room and never go outside again. My post should be applied to the situation where yuo already have a job to go to each day and THEN you should apply what I said (about doing what you want and such). Regarding your wife (quote; above), you know too well that she only said that because it was the nice thing to say. If it so happened that you did just sit at home everyday and give up your job, you know that she wouldn't be happy with it...

lol. too true. I think she'd be all right if I lost my job though, as long as I didn't just give up.. Still it's me failing to care despite trying that I'm worried about. In any case, I agree with your sentiment. It's good to pause and do something for yourself once in a while.