I murdered a cake doughnut at work last night...

I must confess to my crime

I must be honest too, I do not like cake doughnuts. I look down at them as inferior doughnuts, but last night, when I was prepping them, one of them started to yodel doughnut curses at me. "Stop! Stop!" I cried, but he only mocked me and yodeled louder! I had no choice! I grabbed him and I drowned him in doughnut glaze! I had no choice! In order to hide the evidence, I did the extreme! I ATE HIM! Oh god, I almost enjoyed it too!

I can't go on! I must call the doughnut police and confess my crime!

If it goes to trial , bring a yodeling doughnut to court with you and you will be acquitted in record time .