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my name's violet and i have insomnia and noctophobia. i can't be up alone at night. it scares me to death. my poor husband kindly stays up with me as long as he can but it barely helps. i find that what happens is that as night creeps up, i start worrying about whether or not i'll be able to sleep and that worry keeps me up all night long. i'm already on geodon, lamictal, tenex, and klonopin for anxiety and bipolar. i don't think that any medications would help me as i've a very high tolerance for them. i've already tried a few in the past. and i've tried otc medications too to no avail. i feel trapped in this nightmare every night, it even starts during the day. as soon as i wake up (if i've been sleeping), i'm like, i'll never sleep tonight. it's a vicious cycle. i never nap and i never take any caffeine after 6pm. i do relaxing things at night. i read and drink tea. nothing works. i'm just looking for some people to commiserate with i guess. i feel really lonely in this and it helps to know that there are others who are like me although i wouldn't wish this on anyone.

so is there anyone out there?

Hi, violetdawn! Would it help if your husband held you as you sleep? Maybe something in particular scares you about going to sleep. Do you have nightmares?
I'm sorry, I don't have this problem, but someone will be here if you need to talk. This must be horrible for you and you're brave for doing all that you can to fight it.

violetdawn wrote: i find that what happens is that as night creeps up, i start worrying about whether or not i'll be able to sleep and that worry keeps me up all night long. i'm already on geodon, lamictal, tenex, and klonopin for anxiety and bipolar.

It is possible, given that you take 4 medications, that one of them has caused you insomnia at some point, and that it either persisted as a side effect or was exacerbated later by the anxiety. Ask the doctor a TON of questions and bring some research of your own if you find something interesting.

You may also want to consider cognitive therapy (or any therapy) combined with journal writing. This could help you to reconcile what it is you are afraid of not being able to achieve the next day (ie the cause of wakefulness) with what you are not able to achieve anyways with the insomnia being so persistent (ie the symptom of the insomnia). [/i]

thanks for the replies!

i did go to the doctor and got my meds changed up. i'm now on seroquel and it is helping me immensely. it makes me tired enough to sleep and helps with the fear of night. i highly recommend it. i also journal on another forum. it's over 100 pages long! i also have a disorder where i pick at my skin too much. it's in that forum. i've been writing more about my fears and more at night to get it all out before i lay down. so things aren't going so bad! thanks for the suggestions!

vi

Hey, violet! It's so nice to hear that things are better for you. Thanks for the update.

i feel like a new person concerning my sleep patterns. i'm actually going to sleep around 1am and getting up around 10am. and not waking during the night. i no longer fear the night as well because i know i won't have to face it alone at all. seroquel has completely changed my life. i'm less depressed and sleeping like a normal person for once.

if you've tried all of the non-drug options and nothing has worked, i suggest asking your doctor about seroquel. you don't have to suffer. i've tried everything to sleep and nothing ever worked but this. so. just a suggestion.

thanks!
vi

Hey, violet! I hope others can find what works for them and get rid of insomnia too.

well, despite my recent leaps i've taken about my insomnia with prescription drugs, i'm having a sleepless night and i know exactly why - routine. i took my meds an hour later than usual and it completely messed with my body and sleep.

so if you take sleep meds of any sort, take them at the same time every night. it's the best way to take them.

as ever,
vi

Hey, violet! I hope you're feeling better now.

thanks jasmin! i am feeling better. even while on the seroquel, i sometimes wake up in the middle of the night. usually i can't get back to sleep within an hour but i hate broken sleep. bah.

i (gulp) posted a poem in the poems forum. i'd appreciate any feedback you guys might have. thanks!

vi