control freak

I believe I am a control freak and its hurting my 18 year relationship. Can you help me? My husband smokes pot and it drives me crazy. I think one of the reasons it drives me nuts is because I have no control over it. Please help!

I have the same problem. I never wanted to date a drug user. I am adamantly against drugs. When we first started dating, he said his drug use was all in the past. But, it keeps creeping up. We broke up once over it, after I tried to live with it and couldn't. I just recently found out he's been doing pot again and lying to me about it, repeatedly. And again, I broke up with him, and said that I don't date drug users, and drugs are obviously a part of his life he can't give up. And I should find a guy who doesn't do drugs, and he should find a girl who is okay with it. And he said he wants to be with me, and he'll give it up...but, I said I don't want to be the controlling girlfriend, and I don't want to be worried that he'll be tempted, and I don't want to be dragging him down and keeping him from doing what he wants. And besides, he already tried to give it up and failed. And I don't know what the solution is. Should I be tolerating this? I've never wanted to be around drugs. It's always been a dealbreaker for me. I feel guilty for trying to control him. Am I the problem? Or is he? What's the solution?

I do not think you are a control freak if you leave the guy if he cannot stop his drug habbit. I think you are only taking care of yourself and there is nothing wrong with that.

hi ,
i agree you are not a control freack , but as relationships are , you have to learn how to respect eachothers dirty issues if they are not really hurting you as a person emotionaly or physicaly , if he is not high all of the time or acts in stupid ways which put you on the line ... i dont know, would it be the same issue if he smoke's cigarretes? or drinks? if he doesnt smoke in front of you .. i think he is respecting you.i am in a 10 year relationship, and things work fine all with respect towars eachother and pot is sometimes used by him

i dont think "pot" is such an issue to destroy a solid relationship, if there is love and respect in you guys to last that long... dont let get damage just because of weed

Hi,

My name is Mona and I work for a production company in London called Menthol TV (www.mentholtv.com). I'm currently undertaking some background research for a TV documentary which will explore the term 'Control Freak'. As part of my research I have come accross a large number of people who recognise themselves as 'Control Freaks' or at least identify with the term in some way. I would welcome the opportunity to have an off- the record research chat with anyone here who identifies or associates themselves with this term.



You can reply contact me on my direct line or e-mail:
0207 091 2583
mona@mentholtv.com

Many Thanks,

Mona