Well Im going insane

Life sucks when you think your gonna die any minute. I suffer from severe Hypochondriasis. I have over 10,000 dollers in hospital bills because I think Im dying. Im 19, and I am afraid of my heart going out and dying in severe pain. Does anybody else get terrified when they watch ER? Or those commercials that are advertising medicine and conditions, dear god, I think I have everything. Im really trying to get over this, but I just cant. I had a sharp pain in my eye a few weeks ago, and I thought it could be brain cancer, so I went to the doctor and he laughed at me. nice huh. It is kinda funny unless you have it. Well Im done blabbing for now.

Man I know what you are going through. Everyday its someting else. Today its tingling in the finger tips. Yesterday it was a sore thigh. Two weeks ago I was going blind. A month ago I had strange bruses. It #######5 as hell and its hard to believe any one that tells you your ok. I just try to think I thought had a diease before but it wasnt true. That usually calms me down.

I can relate to you completely also. Im thinking about death and dying every single waking moment of the day. It has become generalized also. Its no longer just about all of the diseases that I think I have but also the whole world. I look outside at the trees or at other poeple and I wonder about their death too and how everything will be gone in 100 years and no one will even care.

Some neighbors of a family member of mines had died of old age. The wife died and the husband was taken to a home because he was so old and the family just went in their apartment and started throwing out bags of thing into the dumpster. Those two peoples whole lives reduced to just bags of things in the garbage as if they never dreamed, nor had hope or even had lived at all. A lifetime in the land fill, just like that, no one cares. I cant get used to this world at all.

Anyways, I always have some health concern or other. Now I think I have a brain tumor myself because of some dizziness I had some days ago. The doctors laugh at me too and I keep changing doctors to get a second opinion. Ive had days where Ive had two doctors in the same day. Im trying to control it now and my new doctor knows my problem but I still think Im diying. I think it all the time, every waking moment. Your not alone.

Wow I thought I was the only one that felt this way. Its extreamly hard to live and feel this way, and the doctors need to be more sensitive about the matter. They dont seem to understand that we truly believe that something is wrong and that we are scared. And the laughing, is so annoying, espessially when a doctor is supposed to be a source of comfort, at least as far as letting you know your ok. I had a heart palpatation a few months ago, and I rushed to the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack. My blood pressure was through the roof, and my pulse was chargeing, due to the fact that I was having a panic attack. I truly thought I was dying. Turns out it was from my hormones stabalizeing after stopping birth control pills. I had EKG's done, cat scans, MRI's, ultra sounds of my heart, you name it. The only thing that I can do that helps is to say to yourself firstly, most of the symptoms that you have, is all in your head. I know its hard, but it helps. And also, if you have symptoms, DO NOT GO ON INTERNET AND LOOK IT UP, that is truly what made me freak out. As I read the symptoms, I began to have them. Unless the symptoms persist, try to relax. I wish so much luck to all of you, and live in the present, and dont worry to much or it will pass you up.

theres no ques i worry always about health. it gets to where i cant miss a workout or eat sumthing bad & then i really obsess over it. isnt hypochodriasis a form of ocd?

i am a hypochondriac too. im 19. ive had quite a few things over the past couple years. MS keeps comming back to haunt me. i talked myself out of having it probably for the third or forth time this week. it took a lot of research but there doesn't seem like it fits my bill. because ms is so hard to detect at my age it doesn't do much to reaffirm my curent diagnosis....but i keep on going. the best thing one can have is a sense of humor about it. although i don't find it too funny when im talking myself into thinking i have some king of serious disease, it becomes funny when in retrospect i realize how many diseases i have had over my short life, some diseases that are completely different from each other.

there is a book called "The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life And Death." by Gene Weingarten that i would recommend to anyone suffereing from hypochondria. it looks at the matter in a very humorous, woody allen-esque way, and it will help you calm and/or dismiss a lot of the common brain cancer, tumor fears.

right now i have weak arms, hands, and legs with a weird tickling, anxious feeling in them. its not too terrible i just have the urge to sit on my arms and hands so they will stop feeling so strange. ive also been tired throughout for about the past two weeks. i went to the doctor and he said it was probably just a mix of anxiety and depression. the blood test was negative, thank God. now i am just trying to rule of muscle disorders. i seem to have them all, and i find myself wasting hours of my time researching them, but usually when i get to the duration of the disease/disorder i am convinced i don't have it. duration and time is probably the most important aspect in figuring whether or not you have the disease. if people describe a disease and they say it is at its worse by the first week and you are in week three, then you can pretty much dismiss that disease. i do anyway. its hard. often times i find myself going back, but well thats the life of the hypochondriac.

hopefully once i start taking this zoloft next week, while waiting for my last failed anti-depressant to fade out from my system, i will start feeling better. i also hope to restart my exercise running program sometime soon. the winter keeps me inside, deteriorates my health, and just gives me more time to think about all the things i might have. its amazing how optimistic i am being, here blaming it on the winter air, but hopefully thats all it is.

i would love to talk to any fellow hypochondriacs about anything at all. it can be very hard and frustrating talking to others about our problems, whether they are doctors, family members, or friends. people so easily dismiss us and its really quite frustrating. i don't have my degree in medicine, but i know an awful lot about all kinds of diseases and symptoms so i might be to some help. my email is sharksandwich999@yahoo.com

This is all so amazing to me. I am 20 years old and have suffered from everything everyone has said. I have thought like this since i can remember. I have lived my whole life thinking I was the only one and that I was crazy. My family and friends dismiss everything I say because I have thought that I've had eye tumors, throat cancer.. you name it. Lately I am terrified of HIV. My father in law has it and for some reason it popped into my head one day that I could get it too. I did the biggest no no and looked the symptoms up online. I wont write them just in case some one reads this and ends up thinking they have it. But I did have some of the sypmtoms when you get infected back in March. I went to the doctor when I had those sypmtoms who's conclusion was that I had gotten whatever virus or infection it was my daughter had just had previously and an outbreak of canker sores on my throat. For some reason I am unable to believe that. My thought is he and the other two doctors he had look at my throat must have over looked the fact that it was HIV. My husband thinks I am crazy and is getting tested just to prove to me he didnt give me anything. But even after that I'm worried what will the next thing be? Why do I keep thinking I'm dying? I can't sleep because of it, I give myself the worst stomach aches, I think about it almost every second of every day. I even try to "bring it up casually" constantly with my family and basically try to convince myself that if I have whatever severe illness it is then its not that bad and this is what I can do to treat it or get better. I think I'm trying to help myself but I dont even believe it. I'm terrified of dying... its my worst fear. I cant watch medical shows, or commercials about perscritions to treat anything. When I think I do have something it feel like everything I watch on TV is talking about it. Like I'll notice all these shows where cancer will pop up and I take it as a sign that I have it. I think the fact that Monday was national get tested for HIV day, was partly behind all the mentioning of HIV lately... but nonetheless has freaked me out. And as scared of death as I am.. I'm truly not living, living with these fears all the time. I dont know what to do, but I am glad I looked this up an know I am not the only one who does this.

I am also suffering from this. I went for laser hair removal and I saw the laser in my right eye. Since this time I have been seeing something floating around my eye. I can't concentrate on anything, and I am terrified to see the eye doctor. I keep checking what I see in my eye. I am so afraid I am going blind. I don't know what to do anymore. I have health anxiety but I am terrified of doctors and looking for information on the internet. I can't stop focussing on my eye. Its driving me crazy. I am not even sure if this was always here. I keep closing one eye and seeing if I have a blind spot. I am doing this over 50 times a day. What do you do in this situation? I am seeing a therapist and she tells me that eventually the anxiety goes away but its been almost a month of this and it is only getting worse. I can't take this anymore!

I come in this forum to get advice for my sister-in law who has this disease. I just don't understand it at all. I'm not putting you down....but I just want to see things from your point-of-views. I don't see how people can live their life with these thoughts that they have debilitating diseases or that they are dying. I go to the doctor only when I need to...I mean really really sick, or a broken bone. And when I am sick, and these quack doctors around here don't understand what is causing my syptoms, they look at me like I am a hypochondriac, or that I'm crazy. And when my sister-in-law goes into the doctor(she's a hypochondriac), they give her what she wants. I just don't get it.