lost hope

didnt know where to post this so i chose this place..

i dont know if this is working for me... this forum, life, love... but most of all the hate and the disgust that i feel for all things living and breathing

words of compassion dont seem to make me feel better... the hugz.. i like the feeling of getting them.. but dont feel getting them.. i hope i dont sound rude, ironic and painfull... ive lost hope and to be honest i dont feel sorry for saying it..

i dont know if anything ive said on this forum... nevermind...

as for the poems.. ill leave them here

i dont know if i want to die or just puke my guts out but this must be what it feels like to see the world through dead eyes, and feel the without touch...

goodbye to all of you.. angel element in particular..

its been good while it lasted but i cant last anymore so it must end here, but firstly i apoligize for this long ending.. maybe its just another jewl on my list of failures..

goodbye, and take care

Please don't go!! I just lost one friend and I don't want to lose another. And please, please don't even think about killing yourself.

Hunny, I know you're having a hard time. Sweetie, I know how that feels. I've felt exactly what you described there. But this isn't worth dying over. It certainly seems like it when it happens, but i know from experience that it will get better. Please hang in there, sweetie. You know I'm always here for you. ANytime you want to talk or whatever. I'm here.

words of compassion dont seem to make me feel better... the hugz.. i like the feeling of getting them.. but dont feel getting them.. i hope i dont sound rude, ironic and painfull... ive lost hope and to be honest i dont feel sorry for saying it..

You don't sound rude, you sound honest.

Have you ever heard the song, "behind blue eyes" by the who, and it's also by limp bizkit (SP?)? I think you could relate to it, even if you don't have blue eyes.

its been good while it lasted but i cant last anymore so it must end here, but firstly i apoligize for this long ending.. maybe its just another jewl on my list of failures..

It was too long at all. Especially considering I may never hear from you again. And I can't even say that out loud because the thought is very upsetting and to say it would make it clear to me that the fact that I may never hear from you again is actually a reality. I don't want to accept that as reality. I begged my last friend not to leave, but he did it anyway. And the way he left, I felt hurt. I felt like he never really cared about me. I believe you do though. Actually, I know you do. You've been a really sweet friend, and I will miss you so incredibly bad. Please just remember that you can come back here anytime. Hunny, you need people to talk to. I understand your decision to leave, but it makes me very sad.

You think you're such a failure, but I never see you that way. All I see is how much you've succeeded in making me feel better and making me smile. You definately don't look like a failure to me.

I would love to meet you one day. I really would. It's been so great having you as a friend, and I'm going to miss you more than you can imagine!!

Take care of yourself. Do not kill yourself!! Hang in there. I know you can do it. And TM, I know you're atheist, but it would mean a lot to me if you'd just look into Christianity some. You could possibly find some of what you're missing. And if not, you can know what I believe in.

I'll still be praying for you, and I'm sure I'll be thinking about you a lot!! You're a sweet guy. I personally think you're a beautiful person. Don't ever let anyone convince you that you aren't, and anyone includes yourself.

I know what you said about hugz, but there's no way that I can leave without giving you some!!

**big and tight hugz** and **gentle and sweet hugz**

Please take care, sweetie. Please, please don't kill yourself. Please go to a doctor. I know you don't want to, but I can't stand the thought of you killing yourself, and a doctor can help you. Please just try it again. please, TM.

Love,
element

TM,

I do wish you wouldn't leave. There are people here, myself included, who care very much about you. We can be here to help you go through the tough times in life. After 52 years of living I have found out that wilth the help of other Ican do the things I thought I couldn't.

(((BIG HUGS)))

Kathy

i have decided that i will retire from this active forum, i will continue to post accasional poetry if interest is still there...

i will reply to PM messages but not to forum stuff...

good day

I really wish you'd stay on the forum, but I'm not going to bug you about it. I'm okay as long as I still have you to pm and as long as you keep posting poetry. I will miss talking to you on here though.

I don't know any of you, I am new here but I totally understand this...

words of compassion dont seem to make me feel better... the hugz.. i like the feeling of getting them.. but dont feel getting them..

I am alone in my agony. I have the kids but I cannot comfort them because I cannot comfort myself. No one here cares about me, checks up on me or offers help let alone a real hug. God I need a hug. I need to feel the warmth of another human being.