Could i be slightly moving my minde towards insanity?

Hello, i havnt posted for a while.

but im alsmot in dire need of some opinions. i probably wont reply to them, but will just read instead. Ive been living alone in an isolated environment for long periods of time. first i started off working from home, which was ok, because i had a purpose, it still kinda sucked because i was alone and stuck to the same corner of my aparment all day. but now im laid off, which means i get free money for doing nothing, and its well enough to live on.

I believe its starting to get to me, my day usually consists of sleeping in until as long as possible ( to kill time) and then waking up with nothing to do but make $#%^ up on guitar and go on facebook. to me this is a very inhumane way to live. after this i flake towards video games for while, until eventually i find myself switching between facebook, games and guitar, which is just a sign of not having enough interest in anything to hold my attention long enough. i really have nothing to do.

I also drink prefusivley, ill wake up with the pure intention of buying a quart of whiskey just so i can make it through the night with some sanity, it helps, ALOT. but when i wake up and am sober my mind races all over the place and i cant even keep track of it, its like trying to follow a fly in a room with your finger. I try to hang on to one thought and it easily changes into another. i usually drink myself stupid all week to tolerate my loneliness until the weekend arises, then people go out and i join them, awkwardly. the loneliness is having a prominent effect on my ability to interact with people. but i still go, take my sweet camera and hide behind it, taking pictures of whatever the scene may be.

Ive been unemployed for about 5 months now, and have about another 6 to go until i get accepted into the navy (which is where i wish to make up for all of this down time.)

Im not sure what to do with myself, everything is getting very lame, very quick and i just wish that i could comfortably express myself to another person on a daily basis. it literally feels like insanity. most of my life consists of my mind veering off into directions that scare even me, being unstimulated and having a creative mind, i think my mind just makes $#%^ up, $#%^ that disturbs me. ....

anyway, thats all.

-Glowingduck

You sound bored. You have abilities, use them. You have a brain, stimulate it with something new. Your putting yourself into a depression and it will only get worse. People often drink to hide or numb themselves from the truth. What are you hiding from? Your potential? That is my guess. Don't know you from Adam but in general when people are left with no challenge they feel lost. Make up a bucket list.Go do something that you now how the time for. Learn something new. Don't waist away without this world ever knowing who and what you are all about!
Albert Pine once said that what we do for ourselves dies with us, but what we do for others remains and is immortal.
We all get into funks, but waiting for something to come and entertain us or distract us from what we need to do only works temporarily. Staying locked away is such a sad waste of what beautiful, valuable person you could be for others. Your world as is will only get smaller and darker as you let time go by. That is so so sad. Time to to step up and out. When you decide the rest will follow because you are what you decide to be. We all are.
Best Wishes,
One

Insanity is inconclusive and imagination is spontaneous. (wow I swear I could be a famous quote writer)

You've got to have more personal time to think about nothing. Going for a long walk with no destination is the easiest way to accomplish that goal.
If you aren't like me at all and can discipline yourself to have a schedule, create one. Even if it involves playing the guitar at a certain time, checking up on Facebook, having a few drinks. Your in a situation and you have to make the best of it my friend.
My cousin recently received a purse that was made out of soup can labels from a cat in jail. I must say it was quite impressive.

go do something good every day.

example: get up fairly early, have breakfast, go for a long walk (2hrs maybe) come home,have shower,read a book.....

or

get up, go for a run, have shower and breakfast,go visit somewhere fairly calm (museum,beach,gallery) and take in everything even other people, people watch,go home, sleep = overall happiness.

this works for me as i work as a nurse and do many shift where i rarly see anyone so i spend time being happy by myself.
hope this helps

kitty