I told my best friend something today and I feel better

I finally told my best friend the reason I started cutting. She has known something is up with me for awhile, as the memories seem to come back to haunt me and I can't ever escape them. They haunt my dreams, my everyday life. I started cutting in 7th grade, and around the same time took up boiling my feet in water. Not a healthy habit.
I'm in tenth grade now and I told my other good friend due to circumstance a few days ago, and wanted to tell my best friend, with hopes she would tell no one and continue to accept me and not look at me any different.
We sat down in a cafe and I made her vow not to tell anyone. She already knows I was abused in preschool and again currently, and was bullied throughout elementary school so she expected something really bad if I had kept it hidden from her throughout our entire friendship (we've been best friends since elementary school).
I paused a moment then told her...in 7th grade I was raped.
The act screwed me up for life, and the sad thing is that too many years have passed for me to do anything about it. But...I hope one day to be able to tell my parents as easily as i can tell my friend. And not have them look at me differently, or try to make to big a deal out of it. Just to calmly nod, like my friends, and hug me.

HI 1qaz0okm,

I hope you are feeling more better after writing your feelings and your heart-matter. You know, you deed one of best act with your best friend. Now, you are feeling free because you had shared your feelings and released those all pains. She seems understanding person. She is listening to you, yes she is your best friend. You can share your good and bad moments with her.Take care of her and maintain good friendship with her.

I will, thank you

It's good to know that you found someone you can be open with. She is a true friend. I hope telling her will help you cope with what happened, and I am hoping that you will be able to tell your parents as well. They are your parents, anyway. I'm sure nothing will change even if you tell them.

I'm so happy you were able to talk to your best friend about this. In 11th grade, my best friend found out I was cutting and instead of confronting me emailed my guidance counselor (who I was very close with) and my guidance counselor confronted me. But she was only looking out for me. It's important to have that. And you used your VOICE! Your most powerful tool! That is wonderful!

I'm very glad you felt able to tell your friend and that she responded well to you. I hope you get to work through your feelings more in time. I also have been sexually abused and raped and I've found talking about it with safe and helpful people has really helped me move forward from it and stop harming myself. It's made my whole life a lot better. I hope you also get to move forward into a better inner and outer state than you have now. COngratulations on trusting your friend. I know how hard that was for me, to trust anyone would react okay to me after I told them any of it.

Best wishes,

Cruisy