It's been a year...some random thoughts

joliver54 wrote:Well folks it has been a year since I wrote her the goodbye letter....it is amazing how much I have healed. I thought I would have seen her at some football tailgates this year...i have not. But I will admit...part of me wonders what she is doing and thinks and wonders if she thinks about me. But again it has been a year since i wrote her the letter and I will not contact her...I will not give her that satisfaction. I will also admit that i am a little disapointed and sursprised that I have not heard from her.anyway..not sure why I am writing this post...been since May since i have posted here...
Anyway..here is the letter I wrote last October.....please feel to give me your thoughts...

Hey C,
Trust me this letter gets better as it progresses. I owe it to you to explain what REALLY happened in April.

I saw in April where your parents were in path of the flood and I was concerned as your friend. You had told me in January that you wanted to be friends…and that you said…”It would make me so happy” and “We have so much fun together.” So I agreed and I took you at your word. What WAS confusing was not hearing from you after 4 months (Jan-April). I guess I'm a little dense and slow, but I thought you actually DID want to be friends. So when I did contact you in April, not once did you inquire as to what was going on in my life. And again this is after 4 months of silence.

What really hurt was this... At the time I contacted you in April, my Mom was deathly ill. I waited during our conversation for you to ask what was going on in my life…and you never did. That really hurt me deeply from someone who said they wanted to be friends. I had just left the nursing home when I contacted you and so wanted to share this with you. I was timid enough as it was contacting you again after 4 months of silence. But I did not tell you because I did not want to “use” mom to play on your sympathy. If you in fact never really and truly wanted to be friends, I just wish you had told me that way back in Jan. I could have handled it. But instead I was left confused and with a hurt heart. So I deleted you on FB. To me, your silence of 4 months plus your aloofness in April with no reciprocity was not very “friend like”. So when I deleted you…it was NOT out of anger…but out of a deep hurt. But again, maybe your silence and all was your subtle way of telling me you did not in fact really want to be friends. Again I guess I'm dense, but I would rather have heard the truth.

BUT, TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS….and after 6 months I am over it. I fully accept your decision in April of not wanting to be true friends. In fact, I most likely overstayed my welcome last year. So, what I am extending to you is the proverbial olive branch. I do NOT want to be your enemy. I WAS shocked when I saw that I was deleted blocked on FB, BUT you had every right to do that. I don't blame you one bit.

What I AM saying is that life is WAY too short to hold grudges. ..ESPECIALLY when I cared for you so much at one time. Heck you'll be 54 next month !!! You were 47 when I contacted 7 years ago. I missed keeping up with you and your family and what was also going on in the latest Andy Griffith show. Missed hearing how you would dangle from ladders and fall out of cars.

So I wanted to “manup” and contact you in spite of what I'm sure will be more silence from you…and if so I accept your position… Just wanted to be the one to offer peace between us.

I wish nothing but the best in life for you and your family. You are one sweet lady. Maybe I'll see you in 30 years in the nursing home.

Take Care, JB

masquerade wrote:So, do you feel that you have had a degree of closure? If you haven't had the closure you felt that you needed, have you decided to let it go and move forward anyway? Sometimes we don't get closure, and the hardest part lies in accepting that fact, and moving on regardless. Once a person has come to a point of acceptance, even accepting that there might be no closure per se, it becomes easier to move forward. It sounds as if you have come to that point, is this true, do you think?

joliver54 wrote:I have gotten over her and my letter that I wrote last October empowered me....I also think that my letter made it clear that the ball is in her court. Me contacting her would portray me as a wimp And a wussy.... but a pART OF ME WONDERS IF SHE WILL EVER CONTACT ME AFTER A YEAR And a half.....