forms of the hpd's impressionistic speech you've noticed

"having highly impressionistic speech but lacking in detail".

Guess i first thought of this symptom as a way of them telling you how lofty their future will be, how famous they will be, how they know movie stars....so that when you asked for details about these things, the hpd would probably lack it.

I had somewhat of a hard time wondering what specific examples of that symptom were in the hpd. In the beginning i thought it was like, "to be or not to be, that is the question", type of speech. but i recently learned another example of it: the disordered person is angry at you, thinks you did something wrong, or refuses to dare let you have your own opinion....

There is no answer that makes sense, lacking detail. Maybe this is why I have read a lot of stories of the hpd just "disappearing" without giving any reasons whatsoever, because the impression created (that you're a bad guy, suddenly wrong), can't be backed up with "detail". Of course they will give at least one or two more "vauge" whys sometimes, but when you attempt to add some detail and facts to those "whys" they are answering, still, I am noticing the lack of detail.

"Why" has been helping me separate fact from fiction much easier:
"Why Was that wrong. What makes it wrong?"
"Is he, was he so bad"? (so many accusations, so little details of the actual crime, so to figuratively speak).

Why?
"Because it was inconsiderate"
"Because he was just an insensitive jerk".

But why was it inconsiderate?
Why was him not calling you back when he was working make him an insensitive jerk. Wouldn't it make him busy, rather?

Why?

My interpretation of HPD impressionistic speach has always been

The use of short sentences, sometimes even monosyllabic, that are nonetheless loaded with emotional inflections.
For example, instead of saying "yes, I agree with your synopsis, it is very accurate, " instead she would say

"Dude! Ye-ah!"

But paradoxically when she was in an open window the beach talk would disappear and her words become much more detailed

-- Thu May 10, 2012 1:26 pm --

This is why many HPD's are considered airheaded and bimbo like a stripper but in reality this seems like a safe refuge they maintain. Many HPD's seem to possess a sensitive intelligence.

histrionic-personality/topic82991.html?hilit=speech%20detail#p71

orion8591 wrote:"Dude! Ye-ah!"

Like when mine would say, "OMG!"....i never connected it till u said the above. But whatever OMG meant to her, it must have been jam packed with some good stuff.

orion8591 wrote:This is why many HPD's are considered airheaded and bimbo like a stripper but in reality

Crazy you said that above! Why, simple, in the real world we can "see the hpd" as well as talk to them. Their looks often dull out what her words would look like if we only saw them written on paper. My hpd's emails seemed primative (no looks to surround the emails words, to enhance them, etc...just words that fit the criteria above, however, made her sound airheaded.

What about, in an argument or any other type of situation she sees has a ''battle to win'', when losing, simply starts yelling:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOUR WRONG!!

or in a badminton game against me... if more people are there and I am winning against here, she starts:

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I AM SO BAAAADDDDDD!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

does it qualify for impressionistic speeech??

ddca wrote:What about, in an argument or any other type of situation she sees has a ''battle to win'', when losing, simply starts yelling:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOUR WRONG!!

or in a badminton game against me... if more people are there and I am winning against here, she starts:

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I AM SO BAAAADDDDDD!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

does it qualify for impressionistic speeech??

Excellent examples involving 'pattern interrupts'.

Hey man, what really helped me learn more about their impressionistic speech was to goggle that word. You come across all this art that is "impressionistic" and yet lacking in detail. Anyway studying some of the art gave me more understanding of how 'impressionistic' could be understood.

You certainly get the big picture loud and clear: "She is so bad. You are totally exaggerating....look at this abusive man everyone, taking everything I say out of context. He IS wrong!".

But there are little details/facts available to breath life into the big picture.
One reason why I like the objections of some posters here (impressionistic objections) because when you ask them "why" (seeing if they can add detail to what was 'so wrong' or 'so enabling' or whatever.......)

They do not have an answer for you.

Anyway you have given an excellent example because it 'interrupts' you while you are 'in the right'. Then some impressionistic picture gets planted in your mind that has little, if any at all, validity in it once the smoke clears.

Lol, what if you had said, "And what makes me a bad guy? why am i bad? do you think i do good things too? didn't you say the other day...", etc.
Wouldn't take long to evaporate the impressionistic language.

This works too, but the problem is you need to keep doing it if you are in contact with the pdi. The impressionistic picture comes, and you cut it down by asking for detail and then tying it into or cutting it away from the big picture. IF it is impressionistic, it will evaporate (but they will usually blame-shift by throwing a 'separate' accusation or another impressionistic picture in the midst, to which you simply put on hold and deal with one at a time, neatly cutting down each one or seeing if there is truth to it), but then there will soon be another one to face.

Repetition is one of the managment system problems that makes it hard on me. I have had some recent good family times, though, but i wonder at what price? Why? Because when I hear,

"I had such a wonderful time speaking to you today".

That is usually an impressionistic statement to her which means: everytime we talk i expect it to be this pleasant. i expect you to talk to me when i want and i want all of our conversations to be wonderful like this. YOU, Tadlock, have changed for the better (lol, it has nothing to do with the fact 'they' changed for that conversation and allowed us to have a normal one), and I hope you dont' go back to how you once were (with all those 'boundaries' your 'shrink' told you that were so important). Nothing is thicker than blood, Tadlock...not even a counselor. So if we ever have a non wonderful conversation like we did today, then you have broken the new obligation placed on you (remember the FOG: fear, obligation, and guilt).

So the good 'chat' is later used as a weapon....a new obligatioin for me to live up to. The family hears about how 'nice' I was (while it was only that i needed not defend against disordered attacks), and from then on I am expected to be back under her control. But alas, for these many years, she has never got it back. She gets my love on my terms and yes that is a hard thing to deal with/manage, but look at how impressionistic a statement could be even when they praise you:

"I had such a wonderful time speaking to you today".

Mother's day is soon. And for mother's day (an impressionistic day to HER...a day that to 'her' means "mother gets full control day") she told me not to get her any gifts, but rather she told me all she wanted from me was to reverse a decision I made almost a year ago that had to do with boundaries I set. And have not backed down from. I told her that I could not give her that. She replied,

"Well, then I don't want anything at all then".

So when she uses language and says, "mother's day" to her it ties into the impressionistic language because the noun (mother's day) has an entirely different meaning to it that cannot be backed up by any dictionary (teaching us what verbs/actions are part of the noun being contemplated) to the extent there is ZERO detail to what "mother's day" means to her. Not one definition of 'mother's day' means, 'tell your childlen to let their parents unconditionally violate their boundaries"-sick) I wanted to get her something nice for Mother's Day.

She wanted me to 'do something' that I 'did not/do not' want to do.
This same stuff gets shot down Thanksgiving.
Same stuff gets shot down X-mas.

But you get tired up shooting stuff down. This is where "emotional vampire" takes on its unique meaning in 'limited contact'.....and in the above examples through impressionistic speech.

X-mas is not a holiday where a mother can put a leash around her son's neck as if she wants a GPS system to track his every movement through the house....using questioning that is as impressionistic as her speech.

"What are you doing Friday".

means,

"What are you available to do for "me" this Friday? (yet the first statement which had the meaning of the second statement has no detail to synchronize it with what she wants/is asking, etc....in the second statement).

ddca wrote:simply starts yelling:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOUR WRONG!!

Again man, you saw it yourself. Tons of examples, as their are tons of unique pdi's who say/do the same things a little differently.

DDCA, what did you say to her after that

And once you get to know them as an individual, their impressionistic speech takes on its own unique accent.

Thanks Tadlock, Very educational post! It is the First time I hear about ''pattern interrupts''.

ddca wrote:
simply starts yelling:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOUR WRONG!!


Again man, you saw it yourself. Tons of examples, as their are tons of unique pdi's who say/do the same things a little differently.

DDCA, what did you say to her after that

I am the type of person who laughs when facing a non-normal situation...so if she would scream like that, I would laugh right away.

That led to 2 different scenarios

a) As I laughed, she would feel insulted and would leave...or ask me to leave. We don't speak to each other for 10-20 days....and than she starts slowly contacting me back, but indirectly. Example, she ''LIKES'' one of my comments on facebook... ''comments'' on another comment....and IF a reply, she starts calling me without even speaking about our last argument.

b) As I laugh and tease her about her reaction, saying things like :
-scream again, I find it so sexy to hear you scream like that.... OR
- I SCREAM also..... AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH and then laugh.....

in that scenario, she would act like a child, calling me Pumpkin...and than switching the topic of the conversation like if we NEVER argued 2 minutes before....

Common examples from my own past experience. She would say all the time: I don't know what I want, OMG, amazing, I am so excited to ..., happiness comes from within, etc. Many sentences that sounded like learned from a supermarket self-improvement book -- fake, unsubstantiated, hollow.

Hey, I've noticed something that I still do. When I'm in a lighthearted mode, I will over-use exclamation marks. One exclamation mark simply won't suffice!!!!!!!!!! It doesn't carry the same impact. Would this qualify as a type of impressionistic speech?

masquerade wrote:Hey, I've noticed something that I still do. When I'm in a lighthearted mode, I will over-use exclamation marks. One exclamation mark simply won't suffice!!!!!!!!!! It doesn't carry the same impact. Would this qualify as a type of impressionistic speech?

Lol I never thought of it that way. Maybe it makes you look more excited than you really are. So that your emotions are impressionistic like through your speech?