HPD & Daddy Issues

I'm curious as to how common that is. Do any of you diagnosed with HPD have/had an absent father in your life and you therefor have "daddy issues"? Do you believe that is the reason for seeking male attention?
I've noticed in several of the women I know with HPD that they tend to jump from serious relationship to serious relationship with very little down time in between, and always, very quickly, move in with the guy. Is this a common for other HPDs? I am assuming that it might have something to do with daddy issues, because all of the HPD's I know did not have a father growing up.

I know several woman like the ones you speak of. I always thought it was cause they are fire signs. Haha. Are you sure they aren't just sagitarious or something?! I dunno. I don't have daddy issues as I am a daddy girl, I do have mommy issues because of that though.

Haha...I think one of them might be a Sag, one an Aries and then a Pieces. LOL.
Having an absent mother you think contributed to having HPD? That's very interesting. Do you seek the attention of females? What are your friendships with women like?

Starsandstripes wrote:I'm curious as to how common that is. Do any of you diagnosed with HPD have/had an absent father in your life and you therefor have "daddy issues"? Do you believe that is the reason for seeking male attention?
I've noticed in several of the women I know with HPD that they tend to jump from serious relationship to serious relationship with very little down time in between, and always, very quickly, move in with the guy. Is this a common for other HPDs? I am assuming that it might have something to do with daddy issues, because all of the HPD's I know did not have a father growing up.

Both my parents were absent. I think HPD is more parent issues than just father issues
But I don't know...

Lol! No my mother was there though she would disappear for weeks at a time. She was jealous of me and controlling. I have no anger towards her but some if not most of my issues with her came from my experiences with her. Slapping me and calling me a whore when she was drunk an so forth and so on. Grounding me for months at a time ect. I used to have very few female friends and a ton of male friends. Now I have much more female friends. We are very close. If I ever make it to marriage....I will have at least 7 brides maids!

My ex told me how she had a loving caring family life until she was about 6 years old. Her mom(who I suspect has HPD/NPD tendencies) started working and all of a sudden decided she was going to go into whore-mode and sleep around with everyone she worked with. Well, dear dad found out and was furious, they fought, Mom threatened to tell the police he was molesting his daughters if he didn't leave so he went into a downward spiral, Mom kept him from his daughters. He started drinking, getting into drugs, and disappeared. My ex is 28 and had no idea where her Dad was since she was 6. He called a few months ago while living with me. But to my ex who was already so far gone...the whole matter didn't really phase her. He didn't have anything to offer her...it was him who needed help and since she thrives on being the wounded little bird in any situation this did not interest her and she quickly dropped the whole thing without batting an eye or any further mention of it....very strange considering she used her father's Harry Houdini act as reasoning for how she is the way she is all the time.

Only thing she had throughout her entire childhood was her Mom putting men before her and her sister and a constant feed of her Mom telling her and her sister how much of a burden they are. This as far as I know still continues and they are 28 and 30 now. Their Mom has always went out of her way to tell them how worthless, dumb, disappointing, needy, pathetic, ugly, slutty they are. With nobody to go to for that whole time it's no wonder they've got so many issues.

Knowbody,
I think that has children we tend to put our parents up on a pedestal. I am sure that the absence of your ex's father did have SOME impact on her, but more than that, how would anyone treat a parent who has been absent their whole life and then shows up 22 years later asking for help or back in? As a Non I have to say that if that had happened to me I'd have a lot of reservations and might be quite confused as to what the heck I was supposed to do to help this....stranger really.
Now, the way her Mom treated her and the heavy rotation of men. That has to have shown her how little respect her Mom has for herself and also how disposable men really are. Sounds like her Mom projected her own insecurities and guilt onto the girls. That's very sad. I don't know the story with you and your ex, but from those two issues alone she should seek therapy.

Funny you should mention how a non would respond to daddy coming back in after 22 years. I originally had that in my post but took it out to stay on topic as it wasn't exactly relevant however since you brought it up...

When he called she was staying with me. My reaction was "be very cautious, find out why he's calling all of a sudden, don't forget this guy disappeared and knew exactly where you were the entire time yet never tried to reach you...he could have when you were 18 and didn't, so I'm just saying, tread lightly." To hear her talking to him on the phone was very strange. She's so gullible and easily manipulated. She was calling him Dad, and they were saying "I love you" with the first call...mind you this was the very first time she has had any contact whatsoever in 22 years. I haven't been through something like that but I have a general idea of how I would respond and it sure as hell wouldn't be with "Dad" and "I love you." He's not even my dad or took a dump on me 22 years ago but I was furious at him. I was shocked that she always used his absence as reasoning for why her life has been hell and yet with his first call she's this daddy's little girl. I'm thinking "eff that, I'd be pissed and demand to know where he was first then start in on why the hell he's calling all of a sudden, surely he's hit rock bottom and has nobody to turn to"....turns out that was it, he had a falling out with his wife and was living in a shelter with no job, money, place to sleep. Since he couldn't get that out of her he stopped calling. The guy is a scumbag.

Fun fact: she found out she had a 13 year old half-brother that he was around the entire time. The man wasn't out partying...he was literally just pulling a mulligan on raising children.

I'd have to say my HPD friend had 'parent issues' in general - her biological father was absent from her life after she turned 2. Her stepfather entered the picture when she was around 7 or 8. Her mother is extremely co-dependent and driven by a need to caretake. I'm thinking after the biological dad left, the mother focused all of her desperate care-taking behaviors on her young daughter - in a sense, smothering her with attention, treats, and never punishing her 'sweet angel'. Then, stepdad enters the picture - and mother then focuses all of that caretaking energy on the stepfather, instead of the daughter. I believe this was a major shock from which my friend never recovered - going from being the center of the universe to an afterthought or someone who was 'in the way' of her mother's 'wonderful new relationship.' Her mother was just an extreme example of co-dependent caregiving gone awry.

It did seem as though my friend sought attention from men and women equally, having romantic, platonic, and every other kind of relationship in between with both sexes. I believe she felt a void of mother and father's attention because a ridiculous amount of attention was given to her when she was young, then that attention was abruptly taken away.

Starsandstripes wrote:I'm curious as to how common that is. Do any of you diagnosed with HPD have/had an absent father in your life and you therefor have "daddy issues"? Do you believe that is the reason for seeking male attention?
I've noticed in several of the women I know with HPD that they tend to jump from serious relationship to serious relationship with very little down time in between, and always, very quickly, move in with the guy. Is this a common for other HPDs? I am assuming that it might have something to do with daddy issues, because all of the HPD's I know did not have a father growing up.

No... but i'm a male... and my sister did... sort of. off to college for a year than came back for a few months than out and in to some guys house. than from one boy friend to the next.

- Labor.